A Singaporean man recently posted on Facebook after he felt that he is losing respect from his wife due to her relying on her brother to satisfy her luxurious lifestyle.

It is believed that she is receiving $20,000 a month from her rich brother. She once even spend a few thousand dollars on shopping in a few hours and she said the shopping she did was therapeutic.

Here is the full story:

I am having an upsetting issue with my marriage and I wish just to have a discussion with helpful commenters here.

I am married to a woman whose older brother has inherited their parents’ business. Let’s just say he makes a shitload of money and I don’t know how much he earns. He lives in a landed detached near Nanyang Primary School. It’s worth mentioning that that company is split 90/10 between my brother-in-law and his mother. My father-in-law is dead, never met the guy. My wife got a 3-bed condo from her dad. We live in it now.

My wife is a housewife. She became a housewife ever since we had our first child. Now we have 2 children, aged 5 and 2. I don’t make a lot of money (I’m a civil servant), and my wife is uniquely high maintenance. Although I would be lying if I didn’t also say that she has changed a lot since we met in uni. In those days, she would walk into ION, spend a couple thousand dollars in a few hours, and call it “therapeutic.” I made it very clear to her when we were dating, repeatedly I might add, that I am low SES and she was the one who agreed to still go out with me, eventually agreeing to marry me.

Recently, because of the stress of raising my two children, she has started to ask for significantly more money to spend. She started going back to cafes with her friends at Orchard, something she has stopped doing for a long time, and she has started buying branded stuff. The cost of raising children has also been more expensive than I had predicted. But to be completely honest, if I reduce my savings to negligible numbers, I can support both my wife’s lifestyle and all the household expenses.

I don’t make a lot but I think I am comfortably middle-income. The thing is I want to save up for retirement. I think it is my responsibility to save up for retirement because I do not believe in asking anything from my children. So for a few months, I have told my wife that I have not enough money to give her apart from what I usually give her. We didn’t use to fight.

But we have fought more in the past 6 months than our entire history together combined.

I think 2-3 months ago, she started having money to spend all of a sudden. She could buy all her branded stuff, go to cafes etc. A few weeks ago, we went to Takashimaya and my son saw this $500 toy that he really wanted. I obviously told him no. I didn’t have the budget for it. He threw a tantrum and I held my ground, as I have always done. Without hesitation, my wife just came over and told him “daddy doesn’t have money, mummy buy for you.” I got so angry I just drove home, leaving them all behind.

Two days ago, I finally found out my wife has been getting money from my brother-in-law. I found out by accident because she left her iBanking session active when she was cooking. In that past 5 months alone, my brother-in-law sent her $20,000 a month. Ok, let’s just get something straight here. I don’t have a good relationship with my BIL. He is really smart and really rich. Because I always feel very insecure about how smart I am, I always try to sound smart during family dinners.

But he frankly just knows so much about so many things once he starts talking everyone just listens to him explain shit. It is frustrating and I really don’t like being around him. So I can’t talk to him about leaving my family business to me because I’m sure he would just say it’s his money and he can give it whomever he wants.

I talked to my wife about the money she’s been receiving, and how we should review our household finances and she was adamant in saying that the money her brother sent to her is “her brother’s money,” earmarked for “her to spend” and I’m not allowed to have a discussion on how it constitutes an increase in our household income.

I’m not angry at the money that she’s been getting. I’m just upset that I get the sense that my wife has lost all respect for the kind of money I make, the type of work that I do, and the person I am. For example, she’d suggest a place to have dinner, like a really expensive place, and I stopped being able to use the excuse that we cannot afford it because she’d say it’s her treat. I feel like nobody respects me in the family and I don’t even know what to feel anymore.

I don’t know if this is fate that I have been in that situation or is it we are just different people.

I have a very loving boyfriend, we have been in our relationship for a year and a half. We are an LDR couple, we tried to make things work but our viewpoints were so different, despite that my bf tried to reassure us that we will work it out. I go over to SG thrice to see him and he couldn’t come to see me in MY due to he will be serving army soon.

I did told my bf ‘why cant you be better?’ a few days ago before i left SG. We love each other and i know we are toxic to each other. I think what made me traumatize and hurt the most was;

1. When he cheated on me with another girl while i was sleeping to go to work everyday to earn money to go to SG. He wouldnt admit he cheated, his friends were giving me hints and would seal their mouth shut when i asked if there was a girl playing games and spending time with him. He and his friends would deny about it until i found out 2 months later, that they had a secret discord and he would flirt with her on DM despite reassuring me he didnt talk to any girls. When i confronted him, he denied so hard but all i had was all the proof and that scarred me, the person i loved the most betrayed me. In the end, he admitted that he cheated because he was lonely when i went to work but wasnt convinced until i use his reactivated ig to ask his friends to vote if it was cheating? And 70% said yes. I couldnt forgive nor forget, it haunts me until today but i tried my best not to bring it up anymore.

2. He didnt respect or support my decision for choosing a career that was my dream (top ranking company) in SG soon. He wanted me to choose a career he wanted for me to stay in SG. While he play video games everyday and does not bother to work nor chip in for me to SG to see him, he kept pestering to quit my job and go to SG while i was working on my promotion and end up lost it to my colleague. My efficiency went down from 100 to 10 because i had to entertain him during work. I had to bear alot of finances to see him until i didn’t eat on some days.

3. We talked to compromise on things we hate that we wouldnt do to each other but in the end he repeats and kept asking me for another chance, promises he would do it again and would say he needs time or trying to change. I do admit i do have an ego stating if he doesnt change why should i? But ultimately i eliminated that thought and reflect alot on myself.

4. When we quarrel, he would always end up not trying to resolve, always walking away saying ‘ im done’, ‘im not talking to you’, ‘shut up’ and cursing all sort of words to me ‘slut’ ‘whore’ ‘dogshit’, don’t even bother if i cried but these days he changed to stick to me, talk it out and control his anger which is an improvement and id really appreciate it.

5. When we were building trust with one another after the cheating incident, i found out next was his IG, following mutual friends girls recently, liking, commenting ‘cute’ ‘pretty’ ‘sexy’ ‘peach emoji’ ‘i love ur ****’ while when i post something, he doesnt comment as such compliments to me nor pay attention to any of my social media even if i post about us together. He couldnt control his hormones, decided it was best he choose to deactivate the account to work on our relationship.

I do say hurtful things to him and sometimes i regret and dont mean it we would always say sorry and resolve it in the end. Maybe question yourself on what did you do to her? Give her some reassurance, listen to her and reflect on what could make the relationship work if you still want her. I know alot of people would probs just ask me to break up for the easy way out but i choose to mend the relationship with my bf even with all these challenges and not all relationship is perfect.

A man shared a story disgruntling people who have the title of manager as he felt that the manager only sends an email and has no actual skills. No wonder he is still not a manager, his mindset is so wrong.

Here is the story:

Why do jobs with the “Manager” in the title warrant such high pay? Associate Manager, BD Manager, Product Manger, Project Manager etc.

Correct me if I am wrong, but these people (often) don’t have domain expertise (ie hard skills) and rely on their soft skills which arguably is so easy. ie just write reports (as long as the general proposal/direction makes sense), reply emails, user outreach, “manage” technical people (which may include designers, artists, writers, producers, engineers, on the ground staff doing manual work etc).

In this case, I am not referring to managers who are domain experts like Art Directors, Engineering Managers etc. The thing is – let these non-creative and non-technical managers switch jobs with technical people. The staff with hard skills will definitely be able to ace the hardest tasks of the manager with ease, while most managers can’t even do the easiest day to day job of the technical staff. Something as simple as design a logo, or maybe write a script to automate stuff; let’s see how long a manager – who often earns significantly higher or at least on par with the technical staff – takes to do such a task. You can say managing people is an “extremely difficult” soft skill. I beg to differ.

Soft skills are simply a byproduct of assimilation into your environment and require no special effort to hone. How many people who pride themselves on their “soft skills” have picked up a book, or gone to a class to learn it? Place someone with little soft skills in a social environment, and they will be able to pick it up automatically. Place someone who has no hard skills in a creative, technical environment, and most likely they will be able to produce results.

For those managers who actively try to learn about their domain by reading up on books and taking courses, fair enough. Or managers who actively go above and beyond to improve company culture, processes and the overall team dynamics, then sure, the manager probably deserves the high pay.

But for managers who sit on their high horse and think that the title and pay make them better than their technical staff, think again. The technical staff can replace you with a click of their fingers, it’s just that they choose not to. To people working in creative and technical industries, know your worth!

My bf owes me alot of money.

We are together for about 4 years. In the beginning of the relationship, he was still in NS, so i didnt thought much of it when i pay for our dates, sometimes giving him allowance for his own meals. I am wondering if this has become a habit for him. Even though the topic has come up a lot of times, i admit that i havent been the most patient gf to him on this. He has gym memberships paid by me, physio costs was borrowed from me as well.

He has try, in his words, to accommodate to me and we no longer eat at expensive restaurants. Nowadays when we eat out, he will even pay for my meals. We also have a joint account together, but since he have been taking a lot from there, i try not to keep any amount in there. He has also stopping taking money from the account. However, his dad’s insurance money is deducting from our joint account, so there at least have to be an amount set aside every month. He is contributing most of that amount.

We have applied for a bto, and renovations pressurising me to save a lot more now, to cater for the pricing. Since i earned more, and his pay just nice covers his monthly bills, i am saving up solely for the renovations. It is a bit taxing on me, but no choice if i want to be able to renovate the house.

Recently we are planning something for our anniversary, so he booked something online, and told me to share the price. Was due to return me an amount this month, but i get the feeling that he has forgotten about it. So i let him know about that. Before him booking online we discussed about the item, but i did not agree to it. My credit card has monthly installments auto implemented, so, we couldve delayed the payment. But he told me that im being v unappreciative of his efforts, and that he didnt do anything, but am rudely shocked awake by me telling him that he still owes me money.

There are previous times where he slept happily, thinking about the plans he made, but got scolded by me the minute he wakes up. Am i being a v bad gf? I am really stressed about the money issues..