My boyfriend is breaking up with me because I’m “too old”. We are the same age.

As per the title, yeah it sucks. I don’t know who else to talk to and I don’t know how to talk to him about it so if anyone could offer advice on how to respond eloquently that would be very appreciated.

To cut a long story short, we met just under a year ago and started a situationship not exclusive, he didn’t want ANY labels. I’d go on other dates and that but this guy really stuck.

After a few ups and downs and a break he came back to me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was shocked but kinds excited and I’d hoped this would sorta spark a bit more interest from him.

We’ve been doing really good but when he’s drunk he will explicitly tell me he see’s no future in us but he’s “happy at the moment”, basically stringing me along. I’m constantly on my toes till he invites me over and acts all loving and sweet and I’m constantly wondering what “it” is that’s wrong with me..and why he can’t see a future with me. I’m not perfect but I can always grow and improve and learn. I have encouraged this man to pursue his dreams and go to uni, literally telling him I’m here to support him even if it means us breaking up with the long distance. I have literally been a cheerleader to him for his future and his life goals.

Last night he came over after drinking with his friends. We finally got round to having “the chat” and this is what he told me:

“We are the same age and you being the same age as me will cause difficulty in the future”. He went on to say how he wants to meet someone and have a happy family with three children, two years apart. If he goes to uni that’s another potential 5-6 years away. He literally went on a rage about how women are at peak fertility between ages 20-30 and after that they start having deformed and mentally ill children. Shouting at me “older pregnant women are VERY HIGH RISK of having a severely mentally disabled child” and horror stories and “facts”. I said to him “so you just want a younger 20 year old girlfriend then” and he said yes

My thoughts on this are firstly, people born with disabilities aren’t doomed to a horrible life and I will stand by that. Men are just as likely if not even more likely to have children with autism if they impregnate at a later age (thankyou google, don’t quote me) I am in the prime of my life, I have and steady income and a place to live. I have also raised my 11 year old so I know what I’m doing on a parental level.

Basically what I’m saying is I’m insulted and shocked. I never thought it would be this, considering I am very youthful and often get told I look 10 years younger than my age. It implies that I am a carrier of bad genes and will produce disabled children. It’s offensive and it feels like a scapegoat for the truth. I don’t know how to tell him that he really upset me and insulted me. How do I explain what he said (he doesn’t remember apparently but I think he knows) and argue my side of the story in a way that doesn’t make me look needy or desperate?

I’m not trying to win him back, I’m going to finally show him for the last time that I’m done being pushed around with mentally and I’m going to take care of myself only from now on.

Hi everyone, recently my rental lease agreement ended and there was some stains on the parquet floor due to our negligence. I am not how it got stained, i tried cleaning it but the protective film seems to peel off and the stains disappeared. However i stopped because the film might be protecting the wood, so we didn’t try to peel off all of it.

** Note that i rented a master bed room and the stained area is probably 1/5 of the room.

After handing over, the landlord raised this issue on the stain and went to find a contractor to fix it. From the quotation (close to 1K with full of spelling mistakes), I felt that it was unreasonable due to the few reasons:

1. renovation work done includes grinding of floor and varnish for entire master bedroom
2. we found another contractor that is close to half the quotation but the landlord is saying that their conductor sounds more professional
3. we are covering the cost for the entire masterbed due to work done that will result in 2 color tones. However we are also covering for damages that were caused by previous tenants (a circular heavy wear and tear with scratches) outside of the stained area.
4. In the tenant agreement signed by both parties, there is a clause stating that I am only liable for damage cost by us as stated below : “This deposit shall not be utilised as set-off for any rent due and payable during the currency of this Agreement. Such deposit shall be refundable at the end of the term less deduction for damages caused by the negligence of the Tenant and of any breach of this Agreement.”
5. Cost will be deducted based on quotation rather than receipt

Will need everyone’s advice on this as we felt unfair to be paying for the entire room instead of just the area we damage. So the question is, is it fair? The landlord has been dodging my question on splitting the cost.

PS, please pardon me if there are any spelling mistakes or incorherent English as it is 430am and I am stressing over this.

Is there anyone here who was born to financially irresponsible parents? How did you deal with the sadness/anger of not being able to do anything about it?

The title. I despise my dad. His irresponsible financial behavior throughout my childhood has led our family to poverty and enormous debt.

Not taking up jobs, not trying to do any work or business, just sitting and taking loans to survive. MY father worked in a job only 10 years in his entire married life.

Yes you read it right. Only 10 years. He couldn’t support my education neither my mother’s Healthcare. And now he and mom are my responsibility as I am their single child.

I just want to know if there is anyone here like me. I despise my dad because he didn’t do anything to get me educated to stand on my feet.

He just left his household on me, to run it. I am earning and supporting my house since I was 17 y.o. Till now. Because of this I despise my dad.

He is the reason i couldn’t study to get a higher paying job. I was a very good student. But had to start earning other wise we wouldn’t have survived.

How do you deal with this anger/sadness? Am I wrong to feel like this? This regret is just killing me inside. There is nothing I can do to change the course of my life. Only if I could rewrite my life against my luck.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) is jealous of my dog (11M).

I wish I was making this up, lmao. My boyfriend gets jealous of all the affection and cuddles that I show give to my dog. I’ve had my dog for 11 years, and boyfriend for 1 year.

So yesterday, I was playing with my dog. My boyfriend was telling me to come cuddle with him. I tell him just a few minutes.

Then he totally snaps and says “I’M TIRED OF ALWAYS COMING SECOND TO THAT DAMN DOG, IT’S EITHER ME OR HIM,” and he slams the door and walks out.

I’m totally taken aback by that reaction. When he came back an hour later, he looked embarassed and was quiet.

I’m not even sure how to have this discussion with him, he obviously has some issues that he needs to address, right?

Netizens’ comments

• Imagine if you have a baby with this man?? Is he going to feel the same about you giving a child more attention than him?
• This person reminds me of that other post where this dude got fed up with his gf always prioritizing her dog over him that he broke with her after giving her a last chance.
  Of course it might not be the same thing, but “always coming second.” obviously has some underlying meaning.
• I would never get rid of a pet because a boyfriend was jealous, however if you are constantly ignoring him to play with your dog you are the one in the wrong. Let your boyfriend go so that he can find someone that loves him.

I really need some perspective on my marriage right now. My husband and I both work full time with me being a secondary school teacher, and we also have two children in primary school.

I also work a side job as a baker for extra income. For years my husband and I have argued over the amount that he games online. If he ever gets a free hour, that’s what he does.

So, for example when The kids are in bed, I’m usually tired so will go to bed but he will game. Now this isn’t a big issue for me, what is an issue is his set in stone gaming nights.

These are Tuesdays and Fridays (or Saturdays is something comes up). On these nights he is gaming and is to be left alone. I will go to bed and that’s that,

however I want to spend more time with him on the weekend evenings and have tried to move the weekend day but he is having none of it.

I feel that he is online every evening with mates and rarely come to bed until late. I have tried to compromise but it’s a losing battle.

I really not sure if it’s me that blowing things out of proportion or Jim being selfish but honestly, he is online ever evening…can I not just get the weekends with him ???

Buying gold bars, UOB or private retailer?

As above. There are a few retailer stores for physical gold bars in Sg near Chinatown / Geylang general area, but not sure if that’s better than buying physical bars or even maybe the Gold Savings account from UOB main branch.

Anyone with experience?

Here are what netizens think:

• Buy gold shares lah, u think your ah ma era ah.

• If you plan to buy/sell the bar for yourself, UOB. The bank has lower bid ask spreads and is a reputable company that will be available to buy it back from you in the future. If you are gifting it, go for brand and design. Assume you won’t be able to resell it as purity appraisals for retailers assume original packaging and carry higher risk

• One risk is that if the private retailer were to close down, you will probably get lowballed by the buyer in the future. I would rather buy an easily recognizable bar like PAMP over some private minted rounds or bars.

• Still rip off prices compared to gold bar dealers. Go on a walk down Campbell lane and nearby streets in little India and there a dozens of gold bar delaers giving on the exact market price. You can save at least a couple if hundred dollars

• Buy the cheapest gold bars you can per oz. No point paying too high premiums for fancy designs or collectables. Also look into getting some silver bullion to diversify. Silver bullion at Millenia Walk is also good. Do a comparison between that and bullion star. Never buy bullion from the local goldsmiths as they are way overpriced. You are on the right path with getting some precious metals in your portfolio. Join Wallstreetsilver subreddit for more insight. Also buy physical, not paper. If you don’t hold it you don’t own it

I (21) and my boyfriend (24) have been together almost a year and a half. Since we’ve been together he would often get hammered at a friends house every weekend and I would have to take care of him.

I had enough after he went to a local concert and got so drunk he peed himself twice. This was in April. After a long conversation he seemed to understand that it was time for him to grow up.

However, every time we went somewhere he got so drunk he peed himself or in the bed. I begged him to stop after each time fighting back tears and he always said it was the last time but it never was.

I reached my breaking point his birthday weekend. This was after 4 months of having the same conversation. He got hammered with his friends and they decided to go to the bar.

He had already peed his pants before he got there and had to borrow a friends pair so he didn’t realize he didn’t have his wallet with him until he got there and they wouldn’t let him in.

He showed up to my house at 2 am with no idea how he got there. He could barely walk and couldn’t form a complete sentence. I took him back to his apartment.

The next day I told him we need a break until he stops doing this. He keeps telling me that I’ve really scared him this time and he’s getting a handle on it.

I almost wanted to believe him until I ran into his best friend’s girlfriend at a bar and she told me that after I told him we needed a break they all went to her family’s lake house for Labor Day weekend and he got blackout and peed on their couch.

I care about him and we have talked about our future together a lot but I can’t keep putting up with this. I think we make a great couple and we’re happy together but this is tearing us apart.

Is there any hope that he will change? How can I get him to see he needs to stop?

I’ve had my fair share of toxic relationships that may have left me rather traumatized. Sometimes I’m not sure if my partner is good or bad for me or am I the problem?

2 days ago we fought because he made soup but I’m sure he used tap water (here if full of chemicals and parasites) and when asked him he said he had boiled water earlier, which I know is not true.

I began asking more questions and he told more lies. For something that dumb? Feels like he could lie for other stuff and I’ve felt as it has happen. He got mad at me for “drilling him with questions” and we haven’t spoke since then.

This is added into my mind to other issues we’ve been having and I’m not sure if it’s worth it to keep on trying for this relationship to work of he’s going to lie and I feel he does the bear minimum.

Is it a stupid topic and reason to break up or not?

We’re trying to make it work and I know we both care a lot for each other. It can be he messed up and was scared to tell me but it is giving him excuses if I decide that and he isn’t even speaking to me.

We were going to have a date tonight with my birthday money (we can’t really spend on frivolous things in the day to day because of financial reasons) but now I don’t want to because I found a lot of soda bottles in his desk (we can’t afford that) and a box of burgers (we can’t afford that and even if we had he tried to hide it from me so I wouldn’t know so no share?).

We combine finances and everything I earn is used for us and now I learn about this, he could say it’s from his work tips but even tho we’re struggling and he hide it from me. Am I crazy?

I sometimes go out and drink with my friends.

Sometimes it can be coffee shop, pubs and even thai discos. however, I am worried. I am afraid that my wife will ask me to show her my credit card statement.

If she see the statement she sure know I go siam diu, the question is.

If you use a credit card at a Thai disco, will it show as a liquor store on the statement?

I don’t want her to see me spend few hundred dollar hanging flower. Is there anyway to hide? She checks my statement every now and then.

Here are what netizens think:

• When a company sets up a facility to process credit cards, they are asked what should show on customers credit card statements. Some banks insist on the company name being on the credit card statement (in an effort to reduce fraud) Most business in the “sin industries” are aware of spouses and accounting departments reviewing credit card statements, and so register companies with vague names (eg, “Phoenix holdings”). Doing a Google search may connect the vague company name with the actual service being bought, however.
  
• Best is to ask the cashier – they will be certain to have been asked this question before, and it’s in their interest to be truthful.

• Want to play use cash la, don’t leave a paper trail