I have this friend whom I met at a common hobby chatgroup. We were quite close in the chat and often do mini meetups with other close members. Then one day after he knew I was looking a for a job, he intro me to his company which I was eventually accepted. He claimed he pulled some strings to let me get thru and I was grateful of it.

After I joined the company, I realised that he wasn’t well liked by his colleagues and there seem to be some politics among his peers. I did not bother much as I was new and did my job.

Fast forward 3 years in the company, I had a great time and the colleagues actually guided me and I learn the ropes from them. I got promoted too and was feeling great. In this 3 years I sort of understand the dynamics of the team and also knew why my friend is an outcast.

He is basically a slacker, has attitude issues and the one that instigated many unpleasant incidents in office. Basically he is the real shet stirrer. Usually I ignore his issues or politics but I do admit it’s getting on my nerves, especially when it affect workloads that was passed to me. Out of goodwill from hid friendship I will close one eye.

Recently he got into some issues with the customer and the customer blew up the issue to the bosses. There was an inquiry going and I was interviewed. I gave my feedback on him but also put in some good words for him. In the end he was reprimanded and given a stern warning. But last week he resigned.

This is were the problem started. He called me out as an ungrateful asshole. Claiming that he took care of me and yet I snitched on him, sell out and threw him under the bus. I told him it was not true and I tried to put good words for him but he claimed he “had proof” that I gave him a bad review. What’s worst, he is now sprouting nonsense in the chat and some of the members seemed to side him. I have some members PMing me to ask what happened. So basically he brought his shet stirring to our chat group

So tell me, am I wrong and ungrateful to him? Yes he brought me in but I worked my way up without him. Am I supposed to be indebted to him eternally?

I had worked as a HR for 6 years and currently taking my degree, but seems like HR is not earning much compared to other majors.

Currently I’m only drawing 3k+ while working as an HR for so long, we had offered fresh grads in other majors like shipping or engineering starting with 4k onwards.

It seems hard to change career now since my experiences are all in HR as well. But I enjoyed my job as an HR but just felt that HRs are so underpaid and overworked.

Netizens’ comments

• I believe HR remuneration is pegged to the talents hired and their performances, successful hires for senior or management roles pay more. Likewise, you might want to consider going to recruitment firms like Michael Page or being a human resource business partner (HRBP) to larger organizations
• If HR can negotiate others ppl pay, why can’t negotiate own pay?
• You might consider going into Hybrid HR where opportunities to expand and grow could be possibly more hence increasing the renumeration
• Since everyone is bashing HR I’ll say something else though just in case you don’t know, HR is the enemy of every employee. Always trying to lowball and pull our already miserable pay down and wasting our time with their own initiatives and courses that we have to take.
  Anyway you will realize not all industries pay well. There’s a reason why some uni courses have AAA entry will some have CCC. Alot of it is due to the future job prospects and salary. At the end of the day my advice is to stop comparing if not you will never be satisfied and to also enjoy what you do.
• U dont see the bigger picture. Here in singapore hr are so toxic, being so company focused instead of people focused. In the end, it goes round spoiling the whole eco system making it swing towards company instead of people. When this becomes the norm, u hr guys suffer as well. Think how u would wan ur kids workforce life in future will be. Make company understand people are the very reason why companies exist.

Work-life-balance VS Salary?

Hi guys, would you choose to slog it out while young or live a simple and relax life?

Context: I (28M) have a job offer from another company for 12k and is currently making 9k. The 12k job company is known for working some OT, intensive work during the day with not many contracted annual leaves (14 days).

On the other hand, the 9k job that I am currently working has too many leaves (total 40days) and very relax during the day.

As many would say, it’s good in the long term to work very hard while you’re young. What would you choose? And why?

Netizens’ comments

• I would go for 9k. Life is more than work.
• you can have the 12k job, can i have that 9k job?
• $9K because it’s already plenty. 14 days leave is BS.
• plus with 40 PTO, with the right timing and distribution, OP can have a 4 days work week for 90% of the year.
• What kind of job would a 28 yo have to earn 9k a month? I’m really curious
• If I were in your shoes, I’d consider 2 points:
  • Your own life goals and ambitions. Knowing this will guide your decision making not only in this case but for most choices you will face in life. Personally, I’m not that ambitious and chose the work life balance option. That is because I knew what I wanted (not alot) and what I enjoyed doing (not work).
  • Assuming you didn’t have the answer to (1), I would then weigh the long term prospects and options that each role will give you. The immediate trade off between your current and prospective roles is clear. But does the lower paying job come with more prestige to unlock future roles (MNC vs. Unknown startup), job security, long term increments / progression.

After being in university for a little over three years, and halfway through my last semester before I get my bachelor’s prior to law school Ive begun to see how people who are actually enjoying their life, or have any life outside of their work are people who do stuff that are arbitrary compared to normal jobs such as doctors, lawyers, engineer, etc.

Does anyone else feel like the system (the system is getting a degree and working onward from there) is broken and doesn’t actually provide the same as you are promised when you go into university?

I have a few friends who are doing quite good without a degree and they are earning more than what I will earn after I graduate. After 3-4 years of school, their salary would be even higher.

I get that universities does help you open your career to better options, but are they truly better? Anyone you ask, say people look for experience and who you know. Hell, sometimes it’s mostly who you know.

Here are what netizens think:

• Depends on the field. You won’t be practising law or medicine without a degree. I feel like the degree and what I learned in school were relatively trivial and didn’t contribute much to what I do now but know I wouldn’t have this job if not for those degrees.

• I was a data analyst and a software engineer for a bit. Granted I was an intern/part time, I guess I kind of know what you mean.

• Law and medicine will always need the highest grade of professionals. But is it not possible for people to learn most of what those professionals learned through the internet (if they are willing to put in the time and effort)

• In many cases a degree is used as a superficial criteria for jobs… the only reason is to get past the HR filter to the hiring manager

I’ve been looking forward to writing this since approx. 2015-16 when I got stuck up to my neck in credit card debt and knew it was going to be a hell of a fight to climb out of it.

Alas here we are on August 10th 2022 and I’ve made it… so here it is.

Some serious amount of backstory:

I’ve always had a bit of a spending problem that started when I was 21 and got my first credit cards with a higher than 1k spending limit (I got a couple with a 10-20k limit and a few more with a 3-5k limit). I was able to do this because at age 16 I got a starter credit card my parents co-signed for so I could build credit.

Obviously, a great idea for the responsible type… not so much me after I got out on my own, mid-late way through university.

I was studying for a degree in the computer science field, so my rationale was “if I get 10k into debt or whatever – I’ll be making 100k (or close) hopefully right out of university so I’ll just pay it off with my starting bonus. And sure, I’ll pay a *little* bit of interest holding onto a balance, but it’ll be fine I’ll be making enough to pay for this lifestyle and more in no time”.

Well, what do you know I end up with about $14,000 of debt. mostly from electronics, nice dinners with my girlfriend, and maybe even a vacation or two. My ~1k a month paycheck as a barista at a coffee shop wasn’t going to cut it and I started to freak out as over 1/2 of my monthly minimum payment on these cards was just interest.

That wasn’t even counting another card with a $200 annual fee.

I truly don’t know what I was thinking about buying anything with literally almost ZERO income. It baffles me to this day… I guess I was just always used to ‘figuring it out as I went along’…

My dad was always deeply suspicious of me, rightly so for a kid with a massive credit line and newfound freedom. He would frequently ask “You’re not getting into debt right? How can you afford x,y,z?”. In the beginning, I would brag about the introductory offers I would get – “My credit card gave me $600 in points after I spent 3k in the first few months!”. I always had some BS answer as to how I wasn’t getting underwater.

I would do everything in my power to obfuscate the truth. I believed that eventually, I would be making the money to pay it down. Obviously, this was wildly foolish. What was I gonna do? Carry 20k of debt the 3 more years of college before I got a job? Lmfao.

Well, eventually Dad found out by going to the Bank branch to put $100 on the account for an expense he agreed to cover. He got the teller to reveal the balance on the card, which I’m pretty sure is illegal since he’s not the account holder.. but he’s a charmer and I’m sure the `father` card was played. The balance was around $9,000.

Next thing I know I’m sitting down with my parents reviewing all my debts. Like I said, about 14k in total at the time. They offered to bail me out to save me thousands on interest, and I would pay them back as I worked through school. It was very generous of them. They saved me and I truly did not deserve it. I eventually paid them back in full (more on that later).

** 2 years later **

I’m 23 and absolutely crushing life (by my standards). My app startup won a competition and received a 25k gift from the business school at my University. We raised an additional 70k in funding from various angel investors. I was certain this company I co-founded with my friend was going to be the next big thing… or at least something that was certain to pay me *some* amount of money in the *near* future.

As anyone knowledgable in the tech industry knows… ~100k doesn’t really buy you much at all… even when you’re not taking any salary and paying other university students to write code for you. Honestly, it was mostly our partner’s software that put a bullet in us. It was critical to running the business and delayed us over a year… our “runway” vanished. We shut almost everything down. My co-founder blew out and I pivoted the app into something that brought in a profit. It’s making a few hundred a month now almost 7 years later. Woot.

I DIGRESS – during this time – I thought the money was about to RAIN down on me big time. It was just a matter of months before our MVP app was working and we would raise more money to pay me a hefty salary – or someone would just buy my app and boom, I’d be retired. Very foolish.

So I started spending – because of my previous bailout, my credit was unimpacted and I was able to get several more massive credit lines (for my age and income). Bank A: 22k, Bank B: 18k, and several others and Amex that totalled another 20k.

Now we’re into 2016 – debt is up to the mid-20s – I graduated and get my first job. Since I’m a software engineer – it’s about 90k a year at a small startup.

At this point. I wish I could tell you I realized I had to dig my way out, cut expenses, and get things back on track. But – in my mind – this was the start of my money-making career. My income would only go up and all I had to do was make myself comfortable.

One year later

By some insane stroke of luck I get a job making 145k as a Senior Software Engineer (lmfao, not even 1 year out of uni, it’s not because I’m a genius, clearly. The place was a joke.) managing a team of 4 engineers… so here’s where things take a final turn for the worse.

I take the job. Obviously, But I also literally had to in order to cover my bills. I tell my mother I am in a *little* bit of debt buand all my shit to New York…. so… she agrees to loan me 15k.

The total bill is now around 60k…

At this point… I’m paying a crazy amount of interest… Yes, I have enough cash to get by but… I still have not learned my lesson… I just got bailed out again.. 15k was like heroin to my very depleted body. I could pay my minimums and go out with plenty of cash in the bank. Combine with my new job, I could continue onward finding ways to get out of this hole.

The final chapter of this comes just a month later….

I’m desperate for another new job… less than 2 months in… I tell this job I’m taking the day to work from home to move things, in reality, I finally get really sick… and just completely lose it. I break down and tell my parents everything. Quit the meds cold turkey and decide I’m gonna keep this job until I get fired (which didn’t happen!).

I work with a debt consolidation team to negotiate with the dozen credit card companies to lower their interest rates from upwards of 23% down to 3% (in some cases, others down to 10%). And I get on a 5-year payment plan to pay everything off. The amount I paid back to my parents, it’s around $70,000. Probably close to $10,000 interest at least. I paid everyone back fully including my parents.

I finished today.