I’m with my girlfriend for 3 years. She’s been bugging me to marry her and its really starting to stress me out. I didn’t tell her I actually have a 6 figure savings accumulated from my deceased father’s will on top of my own assets and let her think I’m a pauper. She even gave me money once when she thought my family finances was tight but I rejected it. A part of me decided she is the one after she did that.

My mother told me to never flaunt our wealth so as not to attract the wrong people so I guess I start to feel funny about money since young. We mostly go to hawkers and only visit restaurants when there is a special occasion like birthdays or Christmas. Our dates are usually very low costs. I like that when the weather permits, we have the habit of alighting earlier from the train or bus and spend more time walking together and talking to reach our destination.

I lied to her that we can’t afford a flat yet and she showed hand me her savings and say she can and kept asking me not to waste her time in a joking way. Her family is pretty well to do. Her dad even gifted her a car when she got promoted but she sold it as she’s not confident driving.

The problem I have with my gf may be insignificant to some couples. I don’t really have any major red flags or issues about her. Even if she’s not my gf, I would think of her as a great person to have around. I know other men will find her very eligible given her looks, personality and family background. My mother loves her and already considers her a daughter in law. But I have a but. I’m not ready. We are in our late 20s.

How do you become ready? I’m so in love with her but I just couldn’t make myself get down on one knee and ask for her hand in marriage.

I (29f) gave birth two weeks ago. I had a relatively easy pregnancy and was really looking forward to being a mother.

But now that the baby is actually here I am wondering if I am actually cut out for this. I am stuck in an endless sleepless cycle of feeding, cleaning and praying my baby sleeps.

When people jokingly told me gear up for the fourth trimester, I never thought it would be this difficult.

Its not like the responsibility ends at sometime during the day and I can start next day again. It’s like being stuck in a job I hate,I am not allowed to quit, and there is no end in sight.

I love my kid and hate myself for this thoughts but I need to say this somewhere.

while I understand how incredibly ungrateful I sound, I need to get this off my chest.Sharing this with family is not an option.

Netizens’ comments

• After the 6-8 week mark that’s when it gets better. Then when they’re older and doing their own thing and you can hang out and go out places with them it’s the best. Def lean on family and friends to give you a break every now and then. Don’t be a martyr.
• I think I cried for 3 weeks straight after my child was born. It was overwhelming thinking I was responsible for this little one’s life for the rest of my life. My baby is 22 now and I’d do it all over again. It’s normal, and it gets better as you get more comfortable with being a mom. Big hugs!
• I just want to say that what you’re feeling is 100% normal. Please accept any help you’re offered and don’t be shy about asking for more.

I am a foreigner and I am staying in a rented room for about 2 years, and now out of nowhere, the owner wants to rent it out to his friend and wants me to vacate the room.

He has given me a month period according to the contract to vacate. The problem is that I have sent most of my salary back home, and do not have the cash to pay a deposit for a new room.

I am looking into the options of getting a short-term loan from the bank (trying at different banks), and hopefully, I will be able to get some money to pay the deposit to move into a new room.

If that fails, are there any other ways to rent out a room or anything I can do to help my own situation? I am kind of desperate and anxious about what would happen.

If you have any suggestions, please share it with me. I work in the IT sector as a Presales Manager, if that helps.

Netizens’ comments

• Do you have a credit card? Else most realistic is just to send money back to pay deposit. You should always have 3-6 months worth of salary available immediately for this kind of situation.
• Could you get back the deposit from the current landlord and then use (most) of it for the next one?
• hostel, like checkbout youtube vid on cheapest hostel in Singapore

I am roughly in the midpoint of my 1 year contract role and I don’t know why but I find myself no longer wanting to put in effort in my job and wanted to coast around.

In the meantime, I am job hunting for something that is better than my current role, preferably something that pays more and have more benefits than my measly contract position.

Compared to my previous position as a trainee in the same company and department, I have lesser benefits now and took a slight pay cut in my current contract role. Somehow I don’t know why but I think I am too fixated with salary and other benefits that I think I would be happier with more salary and benefits.

I can’t think of anything else that would made me more happy than more salary and benefits. Currently, I am required to help out in my previous team when I was a trainee when they are having manpower issues and also do my routine work in my current role and I am wondering is it worth to do so much work when my pay is not so much?

Work-wise, I made a lot of mistakes at work recently and as much I felt bad and sorry for my colleagues for doing extra work because of my mistakes, but I can’t even pinpoint the reason why I just don’t feel the motivation to carry out my routine tasks, much less even to come for work.

I wanted to check in with my boss and share with her what I feel, but I don’t know what should I be sharing with her.

With a couple of colleagues leaving, it got me very worried that my workload would increase sharply and I am wondering if I am capable of handling the routine workload.

I am wondering if this is a sign of me feeling burnout. I told myself that it’s only just a few months of work in my current role and burnout should not come so soon. But comparing my previous role and current role, the job scope is vastly different and I somehow prefer my previous role because things are much more straight forward and I had lesser things to worry about. Perhaps I should not have accepted my current role though. But thoughts of leaving before my contract ends would raise red flags to future employers about my current role and this is something that I worry about.

Just to want to hear opinions if it is ok to work for money and benefits only? I am quite sick of splitting myself into two just to help my previous team and current team for work.

Received another scam call from MOH. Sharing my experiences to prevent people from falling into scams. which I think alot of people (and not just the elderly) would be susceptible to.

The scary thing is… There was no +65 for this call. (Yes, I hang up on +65s now.).

My premise is that I’ve been doing daily calls with my hospital for reporting related to my personal health condition.

The scammer who called spoke in Chinese (red flag 1), informing that he’s calling from MOH and that they received one of my emergency documents.

Then they tried confirming my identity. Firstly with my name. (They got the name but not the surname right. (red flag 2) This could be public information since as humans, we share our data every day.) And then confirming my phone number (which obviously they have on hand given that they were the ones who called the number).

This creates a sense of legitimacy that they are calling from a governmental organization. (Please note that when organisations try to confirm your identity, more than just publicly available information is used for confirmation.)

This scam feeds on human desires to know what emergency document of mine was sent to the ministry as they fish for information or more.

I wasn’t ready to share or confirm more information so I hung up.

The number calling in is 94******. (There was no +65 on the caller id.)

Is this a scam or did I hang up on a legitimate call?

Netizens’ comments

• If the caller cannot speak English it’s confirm scam bro. MOH or a hospital would never hire someone who can’t speak English to work in a call centre
• Staff from Govt organisation or companies don’t call from their personal mobile phones about official matters. You might want to highlight this issue to your health service provider since there might be a breach of security on their end or staff may have sold your personal data. But most likely someone hacked into your email account and got the details from there or from your text messages. You are probably the softer target and your phone security might have been compromised, especially if you are an Android user.
• MOH knows more about me than myself. No need to call and confirm

boyfriend kept bottles of pee under the bathroom sink

im 23f and he’s 23m. we live together. today im doing some light cleaning when i come across a strange smelly liquid all over my makeup bag.

i look closer and its pee, then i look even closer and see about 5 of my good tupperwear containers filled with pee.

i call my boyfriend and ask him what the f this is, he tells me he has been peeing in them at night (we sleep separate) so that he doesnt wake me up by opening the bathroom door?

he said its not pee in them, but water from “cleaning out” the containers..

so he peed in the containers, i guess flushed them in the morning, then filled them with water, put the lid on it, and put it under the sink????

im disgusted, weirded out, and dont know what to think or do

Netizens’ comments

He’s lying it’s straight up pee. If he was genuinely cleaning them out then why after dumping out the pee didn’t he just straight up finish the job and wash them out with soap and water and put them away like any other container once he dried them? Also if it was water with some leftover pee then it shouldn’t stink that badly or be so dark.

He’s 23 not 3 he knows exactly how to pee in a toilet, how to wash dry and put away things, also again how to pee in a toilet. This is either a mental dysfunction he needs to see someone about or it’s just sheer laziness. Either way it’s disgusting and you are not required to stay and mommy him.

I’m 28, I have two painful financial stories that almost destroyed me cause I was too dumb.

I did not listen to others and believed that I was really in love on the first scenario and in the 2nd scenario was I tried to earn back my money but I got even more poor.

The evil boyfriend

I let my boyfriend when I was 21 take out a handphone line in my name.

After a terrible break up, I got a phone call about the almost $1k bill he rang up calling adult entertainment lines and allowing his mom to make international calls.

When I called him about it he basically told me to F off. Valuable lesson learned — do not let people take contracts out in your name, you’re stuck paying for it no matter how unfair it is.

Investment gone wrong

After losing some money with my dumb ex, I tried getting myself in the stock market and tried to invest but I had no idea what I was doing.

I bought a bunch of AMRN stock when it was at $13. I had never done any kind of investing before and I put in an amount I was comfortable losing. The value is pretty much down to nothing comparatively. I kept holding on to it as it kept going down. I learned there’s a time to cut your losses and that random people on the internet are not always good sources for investing advice.

Today the stock price is around $1.30, meaning I lost almost everything.

I’m sure we have all made terrible financial decisions in the past. I am 27 years old so I don’t have many.

But I figured we could share some stories of how we have messed up and for others to avoid repeating history.

I’ll start with me, mine was going out overseas for uni. I ended with over $120k in student loans. I have in the last 4 years paid it down to $60k, but those $1000+ monthly payments are not by any means easy.

My fiance and I struggle monthly to pay our bills due to my student loan burden and we can’t afford the things we need. I sometimes wish I skipped college altogether.

My recommendation, make 100% sure you are going to uni for the right reasons, for me it was to party.

So don’t think that a university from overseas means you are guaranteed to be considered prestigious, think about where you are going to work after graduation.

Most of my classmates who came back to Singapore and worked and they got similar salaries as those who went to cheaper private universities.

Unless your degree is very specialised like bio-medical or something it will not be worth it at all. Those who study “business” overseas are the dumbest, as business laws vary.

That was one of the reasons why my parents did not support me and wanted me to take out a loan. I was stubborn and did not listen now I’m suffering and learning it the hard way.

A girl shared how she is tired of women being called gold diggers because some meant want to spoil them for a few dinners.

Here is the story

My best friend is currently leaving her boyfriend because for the past 6 months he’s been unemployed and has made almost no effort to find a job. He plays video games and watches youtube almost all day and barely cleans or cooks, she pays the majority of the bills and a vacation to Puerto Rico. How many of us women here have either supported or knew someone else who supported a man like my best friend’s now ex? I’m sure a lot of you have, and I have my own story.

When I was 23, I found out my fiancé of 4 years was cheating on me. He was on and off employed, never cleaned or cooked. I was very naive and insecure back then. I was overweight and was called names throughout all my years in school, he took advantage of that.

He messed up his credit with credit cards and loans. I paid off a lot of his debt, and when I found out he was cheating on me, I was so ashamed and embarrassed when I realized how much he took advantage of me, that I barely told anyone he cheated on me, I just said we were growing apart.

After that, a deal breaker for me being in a relationship was if he couldn’t financially support himself or had a lot debt, and he didn’t clean or cook. And almost 20 years later, I’m in my late 30’s and I have met a lot of women who have been in the same situation as my best friend and I. It’s usually the same story, he’s unemployed, doesn’t clean and cook, and plays video games most of the time.

During all of that time, I’ve known one gold digger, and the only reason she was one was because men begged her to. In her teens and early 20’s my cousin was very beautiful, if you saw her she was probably the most beautiful person you’ll see in a while. Men begged her to be with them even if it wasn’t in terms of intimacy. They threw a lot money at her. When we were 16 a man in his 20’s dropped us off at the mall with $1,000 dollars and all she did was go out with him a few times. I can give you many more stories. What young person would resist money like that and all you have to do is give someone attention for a little bit? That’s why she was a gold digger, she took advantage of the lengths men would go to be with her just because she was beautiful.

Women are considered gold diggers because some of them want a guy to pay for a few dinners, or they’re called gold diggers because a man will happily spoil her to have a beautiful woman on his arms. But women who are with gold diggers they don’t get a hot man on their arms. Instead they get a lazy slob on their couch while she works and is his maid. They get ignored for video games, and they go in debt, not because they want to spoil their man, but because she has to pay the bills and keep her house and other possessions.

Women aren’t the gold diggers, the patriarch and society makes us out to be ones, so some men can continue to pay young women to be their arm candy or some can use us to be lazy slobs. If men don’t want to take responsibility for their part in being gold diggers then that word needs to be eliminated, it’s a double standard.

My boyfriend and I have been having a rocky patch. The underlying issue is that there is a power dynamic that is weighted in my favor, specifically because I make significantly more money than my boyfriend, and I own the house we live in.

I bought the house 6 months before I met him. It’s only my name on the deed and mortgage. I also was a high earner when I met him.