A girl shared how she is tired of women being called gold diggers because some meant want to spoil them for a few dinners.

Here is the story

My best friend is currently leaving her boyfriend because for the past 6 months he’s been unemployed and has made almost no effort to find a job. He plays video games and watches youtube almost all day and barely cleans or cooks, she pays the majority of the bills and a vacation to Puerto Rico. How many of us women here have either supported or knew someone else who supported a man like my best friend’s now ex? I’m sure a lot of you have, and I have my own story.

When I was 23, I found out my fiancé of 4 years was cheating on me. He was on and off employed, never cleaned or cooked. I was very naive and insecure back then. I was overweight and was called names throughout all my years in school, he took advantage of that.

He messed up his credit with credit cards and loans. I paid off a lot of his debt, and when I found out he was cheating on me, I was so ashamed and embarrassed when I realized how much he took advantage of me, that I barely told anyone he cheated on me, I just said we were growing apart.

After that, a deal breaker for me being in a relationship was if he couldn’t financially support himself or had a lot debt, and he didn’t clean or cook. And almost 20 years later, I’m in my late 30’s and I have met a lot of women who have been in the same situation as my best friend and I. It’s usually the same story, he’s unemployed, doesn’t clean and cook, and plays video games most of the time.

During all of that time, I’ve known one gold digger, and the only reason she was one was because men begged her to. In her teens and early 20’s my cousin was very beautiful, if you saw her she was probably the most beautiful person you’ll see in a while. Men begged her to be with them even if it wasn’t in terms of intimacy. They threw a lot money at her. When we were 16 a man in his 20’s dropped us off at the mall with $1,000 dollars and all she did was go out with him a few times. I can give you many more stories. What young person would resist money like that and all you have to do is give someone attention for a little bit? That’s why she was a gold digger, she took advantage of the lengths men would go to be with her just because she was beautiful.

Women are considered gold diggers because some of them want a guy to pay for a few dinners, or they’re called gold diggers because a man will happily spoil her to have a beautiful woman on his arms. But women who are with gold diggers they don’t get a hot man on their arms. Instead they get a lazy slob on their couch while she works and is his maid. They get ignored for video games, and they go in debt, not because they want to spoil their man, but because she has to pay the bills and keep her house and other possessions.

Women aren’t the gold diggers, the patriarch and society makes us out to be ones, so some men can continue to pay young women to be their arm candy or some can use us to be lazy slobs. If men don’t want to take responsibility for their part in being gold diggers then that word needs to be eliminated, it’s a double standard.

My boyfriend and I have been having a rocky patch. The underlying issue is that there is a power dynamic that is weighted in my favor, specifically because I make significantly more money than my boyfriend, and I own the house we live in.

I bought the house 6 months before I met him. It’s only my name on the deed and mortgage. I also was a high earner when I met him.

My husband is the favored child. Not because he’s the youngest. He’s the most filial child among his siblings. I didn’t know his family makes a big deal in regards to rank at home until I’ve married him and had children.

For 2 decades, no males in his family had a son. They didn’t count the sons who were born by the women as the boys carried another surname. I’m going to keep my opinion to myself and continue….

When I had a son, some of the relatives made such a huge deal about it. My in laws were extremely ecstatic and gifted me many tonic and secretly gave us a lump sum. They would prep a table of feast when we visit and there was so much food we had to bring some back home each time. I feel loved by my fil and mil.

The issue is my husband’s siblings were jealous and won’t hesitate to be nasty or sarcastic when they have a chance, my mil would whine or act unwilling or say harsh things to them when they are too noisy but my mil always say my children are very obedient. Tbh, I also feel they are a zoo of animals wherever they go but it’s not my children, I dont care how they teach theirs. Overall, there’s been bad blood brewing for some time. My husband’s siblings are not filial or good people. My mil said they will not stop giving birth until they have a son as they didn’t want to ‘lose’ to my husband. Alas in their 40s, they finally had a son.

Not long I found out my husband’s sibling voiced out that as he is the older sibling, naturally his baby son should inherit more from my in laws compared to my son. This xxx runs an illegal business, have multiple homes, obviously earns more. Not like we are talking about millions? Their behavior is atrocious and are bullies all along and my in laws are always kinder. I am disgusted but I couldn’t care to say anything as my husband and I feel the same way. They want? Just take it.

I learnt they had been pushing my in laws to draw up their wills but my in laws wanted to do it on their own instead. They want to make my husband in charge on top of giving him assets that will not be included in the will.

Makes me understand why every family can be so different. When a child says the parents are not being fair. Define fair from the perspective of the child or parent would be different.

Why no one loves me…

I’m friends with this guy for years. I’ve watched him start dating, get married, and become a father.

I’ve watched his babies grow up to become little toddlers and preschoolers. I didn’t consider him to be anything as I have already given up on settling down. I’m too messed up and I didn’t want to commit to anyone because I’ve had my heart broken all too many times.

I don’t believe in love and promises anymore.

Then I became attracted to him when he started to spend more time with me at work. I think I’m in love. He’s so caring and thoughtful even when he doesn’t expect anything from me. I’m surprised he can remember little details about me, what I like, and what’s my preference. He knows how I like my coffee done but I guess he remembers others’ preferences, not just mine. I feel so special whenever we connect. I can’t help what I feel. Is there something?

I try so hard to fight this feeling but I find myself drawn to him. I seek his presence. I find myself dreaming of what it’s like being with him. A part of me started to try and dig out info about his wife. She’s an acquaintance so I barely know her. I confided in a friend who knows her and instantly regretted it.

My friend shut me down, said I don’t even know if he likes me, I should just forget it.

Why do people like to straight away shut down my feelings? I’m not saying I want or that I can have him. Wouldn’t that be up to him? I know there’s nothing. Can’t I have these feelings without being judged? I didn’t do anything wrong and yet I’m already the bad guy.

Love is blind or not blind after all? Now I worry my friend will ruin my friendship with him. I don’t think I can bear it if I lose him.

Unable to let go of my ex

I’m married with two beautiful children but before my marriage, I had a relationship with this guy whom I thought will be the one. The relationship ended almost 15 years ago when we were in JC.

He cheated on me 3 times and finally, he decided to leave me, even when I was all ready to forgive him. After 15 years, I thought I have already gotten over him, but I got to know that he is married to a beautiful lady, and recently his wife gave birth to a baby girl.

He has been posting pictures of his cute little one, and I had this mixed feeling. Why are guys like him able to get a beautiful wife and have such a nice family? He has hurt me deeply and I find it so difficult to forgive him. And now with social media, he kept appearing and even when I have a great family now, I can’t help but ask why he is still leading a good life after hurting so many girls?

I know definitely I mean nothing to him, I just can’t stop comparing and asking why is he doing better than me?

Here are what netizens think:

• Maybe you are entertaining a dangerous idea of what’s possible should both of you had remained together. The past is the past, count your blessings there’s where your focus should be

• Social media is deceiving, we only get to see the good. U have 2 beautiful kids, start create beautiful memories with them on social media too.

• Don’t believe what you see in social media. People are not as happy as they seem to be. 

• It’s time to move on. Marriage and other life events that he had do change people, for better or for worse. Karma will takes its course – for both good and bad deeds. We all will reap what we sow.