Returning Singaporean shocked with Expats and Job Interviews here.

I am a returning Singaporean who has studied, worked, and lived in North America for a decade. I am amidst a job search now. They have interviewed me in the local job market for a while and I often get interviews from MNCs. The NGOs and SMES were kind to me, but in MNCs, I keep meeting insecure expat interviewers.

The moment I tell them I was in North America and have an accent while holding a Singaporean passport, I feel the interview becomes an interrogation session. The interview becomes unfriendly and the questions become condescending. I am not being xenophobic here, but I’ve seen this expats qualification and work experience in the Americas. They studied at mediocre universities in the Americas and the companies they worked for in the Americas are not huge either. They are just more politically correct and act more professional (Which sadly Singapore doesn’t teach in our schools).

I know am speaking from a bad experience, but the insecurity I see in the interviews from expats is obvious. And here’s the thing. A mediocre university degree in arts/sciences is very easy to get in North America. There is a reason why you get international students who don’t even speak English going to Americas and returning with degree in 4 years. It’s a cash cow for those countries.

Compared that with Singapore, we grew up with streaming education and PSLE from age of 10. We’ve been taught to compete for those 3 universities locally or spend money to go overseas for that paper.

Now coming back to interview sessions, it makes no sense to get a condescending tone from a non-Singaporean who just got a degree qualification scraping off and working in random companies in the west and just speaking in an accent. (It just takes 5 years to get that accent)

I assure you, they would not get this cushy job in the Americas. That’s why they moved here!

Are we being suckers here? The whole competition with the world talents is bullshit when we have saddles, hooked on to us.

It’s exhausting being poor

I (19f) am so tired of being poor and so tired of struggling. I’m going to university soon and I still don’t have everything I need and I really don’t know how my mum will afford it.

She keeps saying don’t worry but it’s hard not to. It just hurts knowing how much I’ve struggled in life due to lack of money and how I’m going to university and I’m still going to struggle so much compared to others.

I’m just sick and tired of being the poor one compared to others around me.

Netizens’ comments

• Just turned 30 here.
  It doesn’t get better. But life will become more comfortable. It just takes people like us more time. And we develop a keen sense of independence, confidence and street-smarts along the way. I pawned amazing gifts just to pay a phone bill. You’re incredibly fortunate to be attending school.
  I’ve got advice for you that I wish someone had shared with me. Don’t prioritize relationships right now. Not only are they hard to keep up with financially, the self-esteem of someone in poverty leads one to be vulnerable to terrible partners. Figure out your goals and set a direction in life first. And good luck.
• 22 here and fucking same. I hate having to decide if I wanna buy food or take a rest day, i hate feeling guilty for being sick or just needing a break.
• Be sure to get the most out of university; i.e. find out what career you want to pursue after graduation and work towards it. Do your research, and have a plan. This will not only be especially useful for your future but knowing there will be better times ahead will also help you get through these tough times. All the best, OP!

[Is it too late to try?]

I have graduated from FASS since 2019 and am currently working in a field in the financial industry that is safe, with high pay and nice colleagues, but it is absolutely boring and I cannot see myself wanting to learn more about the field.

Mentally, I keep on thinking of this as a temporary touchpoint in my life, because I have always wanted to pursue journalism or digital marketing. There is this strong dilemma since a few months ago, especially because everything that I’ve achieved so far have not made me inherently happy. People around me told me that I’ve done well, but I can’t help but to be unable to shake the feeling off that there is something more I want in life.

However, there is a feeling that I will lose everything that I currently have once an attempt is made to enter a new industry: a drastic pay cut, and other unknowns (ie. what if I cannot do the job well and have instant regret?) because it will be hard to go back into my current field. My partner isn’t the most supportive of me taking this leap of faith as well, especially since he looks more favorably on the safer options in life.

But I know, if I will be doing this for my entire life (just being part of the rat race in an industry I dislike), I will be filled with regret when I die.

Is it worth it to take the risk despite all the fears and unknowns? Has anyone had a similar experience before?

struggling in a viscous cycle

I am struggling quite badly now and is caught in a cycle I can’t really get out from.

I am not making a lot and have been struggling to save money ever since the cost started raising.

Worst is, I am a “shopholic”. Not the kind that needs to spend hundreds or thousands just to have some kick but I tend to buy small items (stationeries/food/things below $10) whenever I feel unhappy.

I don’t feel happy with my life or job. I feel I am working so hard and I can only just afford a few small items here and there. I have to think twice whenever I wanted to buy something more than $50. I don’t know what I am working for because at the end of the day, after fulfilling my responsibilities, I have so little left.

I tried developing hobbies so I don’t need to get “satisfaction” from buying things but I feel little motivation.

I dread working more and more and started developing undesirable thoughts and then I have to scold myself to snap out of it.

I don’t know, I feel so stuck.

A man shared his confession stories online about he is driving Grab as an extra income so he can feed his mistress who is in Malaysia.

He stated that he is starting to feel guilty as he can provide better for his children and his wife but he said that he is in “too deep”.

Here is the story:

I am lost and stuck in a limbo, and I know the things I did is not something I should proud off and I am seeking advice as a wrong step can result in a broken family.

I currently have a full-time job and I am driving Grab in the evening to earn extra income.

I started working in a company 3 years ago and eventually get to know this girl who is Malaysian. Although she knew that I was married she still flirts with me and it was very obvious that she was interested in me.

Things started to heat up and from lunching together it turned into dinners and something a bit more and we both started to have feelings for one another.

Although I know it is wrong and it is too late to stop. There is a reason why I can’t. I am getting threatened.

She left the job about 6 months ago, she quit without any job offers and told me to help her for a few months by giving her some money. She asked for only $1,000 a month and I thought it was reasonable to help her with her rental and some basic necessities.

So I started doing a bit of regular Grab and Grab hitch in the morning.

However, after 3 months I told her that I could have trouble supporting her as it has been ongoing for 3 months. She said that she have to return to Malaysia to take care of her mom and I thought it would end and I don’t have to give her anymore money.

But I was so wrong

She now wanted more, she wanted $2,000 a month and I refused her. As I am not rich and only making around $4,000 after CPF contribution. She then told me to find the money for her or she will expose our affair to my wife.

I was scared as I have 2 kids and we are not very well off and I don’t want it to lead to a divorce that will not only break my heart but our children’s hearts. I know a lot of you would tell me “to think about that before I commit adultery” YES I know, but what has happened! has happened! I am here to find some answers and not get judged as I am already guilty as hell.

Instead of just driving a few hours a day of Grab, I am driving till way past midnight so I can support the girl who wants $2,000 a month and my wife has been asking why am I getting myself so tired by driving Grab in the evening instead of coming home to play with the kids.

I am running out of reasons and my wife has been asking where the earnings from Grab are going.

I have just moved into a new flat which belongs to an older cousin of mine (F,34).

She decided to keep the flat and I asked her if I could rent it from her as I’ve been wanting to move out for a while and desire my own space.

I come from a family of 5, with two older siblings, M (28) and F (26). My parents have sold the family home and both siblings have their own places.

I recently moved to a new apartment in a town that is notoriously hard to find a place to live in due to the high rental prices.

It’s not a great place but it’s fine, it has a small balcony, is quiet and is quite central relevant to the price which are the 3 main things I was looking for when I moved in.

I and my partner have been together for almost 3 years, and I don’t want to go on a date with him soon or go on holiday with him for her birthday.

I know that sounds bad but it isn’t because I don’t want to spend time with him or I wouldn’t enjoy it. It’s because of her parents, specifically her mum.

Job offer letter different than what was presented during interview. Thoughts? 

Hi all. As the above says I had a job interview where when I asked about the compensation the human resource manager said that “it would be in the $96,000 a year”

The offer letter states that it would be $48,000 until I show proficiency in the software they use/job requirements. They said “We expect this to take six months”

This would be my first engineering job, but I can’t help but think that I’m getting the short end here.

What should I do? Should I sign the offer letter or continue my job search? This is going to be my first full time job and I’m afraid that I will get worse offers or can’t even find one in the coming months.

The repayment of my school loan will begin soon.

Here are what netizens think:

• I’m willing to bet you’re not getting a 50+% raise in 6 months.

• Alot of employers use dirty tricks to cheat their employees as everything that is said from the mouth cannot be presented in court unless you have a recording of the verbal contract and a witness who will side with you. But I doubt the companie’s HR will be a witness against their own company.

• Yep. Require something in writing about how proficiency is demonstrated, and salary after the fact. Otherwise, it is meaningless.

• My very first job did something similar to me. I was looking for a full-time salaried position, they claimed they were hoping for an hourly intern during the interview, but offered the 6 month trial before pay bump. Everything was in writing. 6 months later, “We can’t afford to do this” and “We meant when you have your P.E. and could head projects.”