A girl I met two days ago is acting like I’m her boyfriend and is being insanely clingy

I met this girl at school and we exchanged socials. Ever since then she’s been overwhelming as she is apparently head over heels for me and is very persistent.

She’s already invited me to her house twice already, has complained to me that I don’t text her enough with a sad face, has cried to me about her problems and then told me that she was lonely and wanted me to come over.

She complained that I “abandoned” her for five hours yesterday because I had to go to work and didn’t tell her, started telling me that I am a busy guy and never have enough time to text her.

She’s told me that I have to go to all her dance competitions, and asked me mid shift “How is work today❤️.”

Long story short, she is being so overt as she’s only known me for two days and is acting like I’m her boyfriend.

I’m so overwhelmed by her and honestly stressed out. I decided to just leave her on delivered and not respond to her again.

Only thing I’m weary about is if she confronts me at school and asks me about why I ghosted her. Btw, I’m a senior and she’s a junior. Just thought I’d add that.

Netizens’ comments

• You seem like you can string words together. Why not let her know how her behavior is making you feel instead of just ghosting? Sure, she should know better, but maybe she doesn’t.
• Sounds like this girl is super needy and probably has low self-esteem. That’s sad. It might help her if you told her that her behavior is overwhelming. Protect your peace.
• Don’t ghost. It’s so much worse. Be honest with her.

Back story was about 15 years ago. Minimum CPF payout was increased. Only way to get money from CPF is to sell the house. And stay in JB. Selfish dad chose to sell flat and retire himself even when his kids are still studying in Poly and me in uni.

Mum refused to get divorced as she still believed in him.

Mum worked full time to feed herself and the ‘sick’ husband who still can afford to gamble and smoke cigarettes. As for me, I didn’t bother about them when he made decisions only for himself and mum didn’t stop him for our family. That $40k or so was gone in less than 5 years.

10 years on, mum finally got divorced and still chose to remarry to someone else. His children refused to support him and he still believed that we must pay him $1k each for him to earn his ‘salary’. Obviously, us kids refused. He didn’t spend a single cent on us. Mostly, relatives, the govt and mum paid for our life expenses. Didn’t really need much money as we lived on a bare minimum just for food and transport. His money is is his to gamble, and for his overseas trips by himself. If only they had divorced earlier, it would have been easier to get a rental flat or buy a smaller flat in SG.

Grew up being treated badly. Every single mistake was punished by a wide range of equipment, leather belt, hangar, metal mop, plastic pole. Even called up the police few times, but police did nothing. They only care about closing the case and warn us to control our noise level and to be good kids. But at least the beating stopped for the day.

Getting into NTU was like a ticket out of a sickening life. But thinking back, I’m just happy being married and enjoying my own life now.

15 years later, I’m glad to see that NTU hostels are aplenty compared to back then. Supports are much better now. And police take a serious case on child abuse. Nevertheless, dysfunctional parents still exists. And if you’re an undergraduate facing the same problems I had, press on. I didn’t have the tenacity to push through.

Anyone else feeling dread about life returning to normal after the covid pandemic?

Yes yes i know. What i am suggesting toes the line of what is considered controversial and presumptuous.

I miss the days when we were in lockdown and the entire country is peaceful and…. empty. We had to work from home and that got rid of the dreaded daily commute to and fro work.

Streets were empty, felt like a zombie apocalypse lol. We all were experiencing a kind of solidarity that hitherto has not happened in singapore for the past 2 decades (Sars pandemic).

Of course i do not wish to see lives lost to covid, and am happy that the virus has mellowed compared to previous variants, but i miss the quiet and peace during the height of the covid pandemic.

Netizens’ comments

• I enjoyed the peace as do you. I don’t have the dread anymore though cause I can finally be at peace with normalcy as well
• I feel ya OP. I really enjoyed the peace and quiet. Personally always preferred hanging out with only 1 or 2 people rather than a large group if I had to go out. Otherwise I’d stay home and only go out to buy food/groceries.
  I also enjoyed the safety distancing because I’m just not very comfortable with physical contact naturally. So it felt like a really comfortable period for an introvert like me.
• I miss how air fist bumps were actually an appropriate thing to do at work. God forbid we did a handshake or a proper fist bump!!!
• I just feel ugly and don’t want to take off mask

MRT fare glitch – My MRT fare total for the month of Aug came out to be drastically more than the previous months.

Below is my situation:

I travel from station A – change at station B – alight at station C = $1.51 x 2 = $3.02 (round trip)

In the month of Aug for one specific week I noticed that I am charged $3.71 + $2.20 (this happened for 3 consecutive days in a week). I also noticed that I am charged $3.71 for some random days as well.

For rest of the Aug it’s the usual $3.02

My question is – Is this a glitch from Apple Pay, SMRT, or my CC? and whom should I contact to fix this?

Additional info – I alternate between a CC and apple pay to pay for my fare. I take the same exact route every time.

Netizens’ comments

• Did you use the same payment method for entry and exit? If you enter with apple pay and exit by tapping the physical card you’ll be charge 2 single trips.
  Source: learnt this the hard way..
  • I thought this issue came up in the news recently. Now there are posters pasted on the bus exit doors to inform ppl to tap out using the same mode when they tap in.
  • shoot, I don’t always use the same payment method. If I am too lazy to reach my wallet I’ll just use apple pay
• Do you tap in with CC, and tap out with Apple Pay? The system doesn’t recognize it as the same trip.
• iirc, you need to use the same payment mode within a single transport trip
  e.g if you tap in with your apple pay, you will need to use back apple pay to tap out. you cannot use apple pay to tap in and cc to tap out, even if they are the same card. if you do so they will be reflected as a separate trip
  there’s been some info about this pasted on the bus doors. wish it was more widely known though.

Need help: DBS credit card scam – unauthorized transaction of large amount

This happened to my spouse. He noticed that last night there was multiple transactions of more than 4k SGD per transaction in his DBS credit card. Each transaction had the exact same amount.

There was one OTP message and he had not shared any OTP with anyone. But within a few minutes of this OTP message, there was another message saying money was deducted from the card.

How can the money be deducted without the otp? (Considering he got an OTP message).

He noticed all of this the next day as it happened at night. In credit card statement, the amount is shown as “PENDING”, so we contacted the bank but they said they can’t cancel the transactions from their end. Neither can they verify who the recipient is, as the transaction is still pending.

Has anyone encountered anything similar? Could someone please guide me what to do in such a situation? I am planning to file a police complaint.

But even then, if the bank decides to charge us, it will be a huge amount to bear!! Any help/suggestion is appreciated!!

I have a girlfriend who is from vietnam. I met her during my month long internship in hanoi. We have been ‘dating’ through calls on skype and facetime ever since covid broke out. The last time i met her was 2020 feb then someone decided to eat bat soup. haha.

Anyways, we’re planning to settle down in a couple of years but recently i’ve been thinking about how would this actually work out in the long term. I’m thinking about job, marriage and perhaps BTP/Resale. And perhaps also the upcoming challenges we will be facing like PR status, or LTVP, even citizenship.

I guess education level does play a part in getting that PR card. She holds an advanced diploma in hanoi and have a few years of working experience. Need some thoughts on that.

I’ve also heard like people saying that their friend’s wife from viet was really great until she came here and everything changed and what not. Then also stories about marry for money(of course) and what not. All these are real so sometimes I cant help to think about that.

Here are what netizens think:

• I don’t have experience in dating someone of another ethnicity or LDR. But my mom is Thai (divorced with my dad since young, I’ve been with my dad ever since) and I have Thai relatives (obviously) and friends here in Singapore. Can definitely vouch on the part where they’ll be a drastic difference before vs after marriage and after getting their PR application approved.

• I think you should consider how things have been. Have you guys had anything come between you? Does she have her own opinions? Does she have her own personality or does she just agree with you all the time? Did you meet her friends and family see her act comfortable with them?

• I have a personal friend who married a Vietnamese through matchmaking co. They have a wonderful marriage and 2 lovely kids. It was a 1 income family though.

A netizen, @SGdude90, shared how his father has been watching PRC propaganda YouTube channels for years, and now wants to join China as a soldier if war ever comes.

Here is what he said

How do I clear my Dad’s brainwashing? He wants to join China as a soldier

I wish I was joking

My Dad has watched PRC propaganda YouTube channels for years. Today he scared the crap out of me when he announced that should war come to China, he’ll fight for China as a soldier even if he is renounced by SG

He even said Chinese blood (Chinese as in people from China, not Chinese-race from SG) flows in all of us. He is also far more critical of Western countries (especially USA) and Taiwan nowadays.

My Dad was never like this before. Any tips how I should approach this?

Netizens’ comments

1. Kindly remind him the last time anyone thought like that, an estimated 50 million died.
2. Don’t directly argue with him – he’s primed for a fight and expecting it. You want to play things much more subtle. It takes a lot of patience, time, and energy to go this route, but it’s probably the only way to get through to him.
   You want to kind of play dumb – ask him to explain how he reaches his conclusions, and actually listen to what he says. Don’t argue everything he gets wrong, but choose your targets for argument wisely. Say things like “but I thought…” then point out something that either he contradicts himself with, or something that’s a well-known fact that he can’t argue.
   But keep your contradictions to a minimum – if he thinks you’re just looking to argue with him instead of understanding where he’s coming from, then you’ll put him back on his guard.
   Don’t push too hard – you have to give these bits of contradictions time to work their way into his thought processes. Over time, the fact these contradictions with the propaganda he keeps accepting keep coming up should slowly allow enough doubt to build up in his mind that he doesn’t take them as seriously anymore
   Good luck.
3. my dad too. when Pelosi visited Taiwan he was super angry and edgy and kept shouting into the TV whenever they show Taiwan. kept saying they are all chinese and should return to the motherland.
   70ish man yelling at the tv like a 4 year old.

I’m 21, and I have no interest in having children, but I love the idea of being able to pass on my furniture or family name.

I will receive some very nice furniture in about a year. This furniture originally belonged to my great-grandmother. I will of course never sell the furniture, but I’m already nervous about what will happen to it when I die.

I am currently working a master bedroom flat from which I work as as well as live. I really like my flat – the location is great and the floor plan is amazing – due to a quirk of the building, I have an extremely large bedroom.

• Work as a Senior Software Product Manager in Banking / Finance
• Work experience about 12 years, graduated in 2009 with an Information Systems Degree.
• Making more than S$200,000 a year now.
• Starting pay in 2009 was about S$2,000 per month.
• Crossed the S$10,000 mark after 9 years in 2018.

Income progression:

1. 2009 : S$2,000
2. 2010: S$4,000
3. 2011: S$4,500
4. 2011 – 2015 : S$0 (co-founded startup)
5. 2016: S$7,000
6. 2017: S$7,200
7. 2018: ~S$10,000
8. 2019: ~S$12,500
9. 2020: ~S$16,000
10. 2021: ~S$18,000

The income trajectory is probably slower than most good software engineers today and slower than those in Trading, Investment Banking or Consulting.

Once I crossed the S$10,000 mark the trajectory accelerated a bit more, but also because I was managing my career moves a little more, got a bit lucky, had supportive bosses, switched companies, and also had enough experience to negotiate for higher compensation.

Though I do think that this is probably near the top of the pay scale for the role – and I’m already in upper management (with some individual contributor responsibilities.) If I wish to increase this further, I think I will need to move into the Executive Director or Managing Director level and do almost purely management at that point (which I probably don’t enjoy as much.)

What I like about the job:

• I get to have a lot of impact on the software that hundreds of thousands of people use everyday.
• I get to see something get created from idea into something real and used by real customers.
• I get to work with new technology (sometimes) and cool software ideas / concepts.
• I get to work with different types of colleagues from finance, marketing, upper management, software engineers, UI/UX designers and bounce ideas with different skillsets and then synthesize them into a product that makes sense for the business, is feasible to build, and is loved by customers.

What I find challenging / stressful about the job:

• Balancing and managing the needs of different stakeholders is the toughest part of the job – but great product managers have to do this well.
• As an introvert, having most of my job be communication and talking to people all day does get exhausting. The higher I move in this career, the more important being good at communication becomes: aligning all stakeholders, evangelizing the product, briefing the development team, briefing the design team, briefing the upstream and downstream teams – the job becomes 85% communication and 15% developing the idea sometimes, but without alignment and good communication, no matter how brilliant your idea is, it’s likely not getting built or it’ll be built incorrectly – so just gotta do it.
• Depending on the company, sometimes this also throws you directly into the middle of lots of politics (especially if stakeholders have their own agenda.) However, if you choose the right company and team, this could be minimal because everybody is working towards the same goal. If you found a place like that, treasure it.

What I think I did well and helped in my career:

• Take initiative, get to know and understand the material / industry / subject area very well – get to be known as the subject matter expert in an area within the team and organization.
• Speaking up but not for the sake of it. If you have a good suggestion or point, make it, regardless of who’s in the room – remember (given the above point) you probably know more about the subject that everybody else in the room. Get seen and be heard, don’t be afraid to add to the discussions. This will also help you build that reputation of expertise.
• Get to know all your stakeholders and colleagues and be on good terms with them. Know their goals and objectives so that you understand how you can work with them and maybe even help them achieve their objectives. Know how they interact with you and your team and how best to work together. This will give you a better idea of how to do your job well, understand the motives of each stakeholder, their pain points, their concerns – and how you fit into the picture.
• Understand the role and responsibility you and your team has on the overall business performance of the company – this will guide all your conversations as everybody should have the company’s interest in mind. This will help prioritize your work when there are tons of stakeholders all wanting seemingly different things.
• Take an active role in steering your career, if you find that you disagree or don’t like the project / product you’re working on – come up with something better and suggest it or pitch it to your boss + stakeholders and get support for it. Of course, don’t stop working on what was asked of you, but show that you have something you really want to work on and how that would really help everybody / or is a really good idea. Maybe once you’re done with the current project, that new idea could be your next project.
• Treating others well and with respect while also being a great performer. My career moves in the previous 2-3 years are due to having supportive friends and colleagues and bosses that know that I can execute and work hard. When people move careers – especially during mid-careers – they are also looking for people who they know can perform, that they can work with well, and that’s usually when a lot of opportunities open up.

Any advice for those who wants to get into the career:

• Deep technical knowledge is a bonus / good to have, but not strictly necessary. You should have a good grasp of the available technologies and features available in your industry and what they do (like FaceID, TouchID, NFC, OAuth, Encryption, API, SDK, Databases, etc) but you don’t have to be able to code necessarily (I’ve seen this actually being a negative for PMs because they get too deep into the implementation details when they should just let the engineers own it.)
• Have good communications and presentation skills. Expect to do a lot of it.
• Have an interest in UI/UX design – understand some core concepts so that you can comfortably work with the design team and understand what they do.
• Good to understand Agile software development frameworks like Scrum (most places will train you on the job or send you for training on this. Also I’ve never been any company that does Scrum correctly to the letter of the training – so don’t be surprised if what you learn doesn’t quite apply.)
• Make sure you enjoy working with people – you don’t have to be an extrovert (I am definitely not) but you have to be able to work with people – because you’re going to be working with lots of people. Product Managers cannot get things done alone and must rely on others to bring their vision to life, so make sure you can get people on your side.
• Good to have an interest in Market Research and Design Thinking / Customer-Centric Design. You’ll have to think from the customer’s perspective and ensure you understand their end-to-end experience with your product so that you can create something that works well for them. Don’t need to have formal training here (again they’ll likely train you if they feel it’s necessary.)

I think that’s all I can think of for now. Ended up being a super long post lol. I think if I missed anything or there’s anything else I can answer, please ask.