Is my manager manipulative?

My manager always says he thinks I am immature and that my career is as bad as my personal life.

I am currently earning $9k, holding the position of senior management but below 30 years old. I am probably one of the youngest lady in a senior role. I am not married, no children, but with a long term partner. I was pretty contented with what life has given me, but he kept criticising me until I feel like I am lacking something and lagging behind.

I am a fun-loving person who likes to make jokes as well as lighten the atmosphere of the room. He thinks I am childish and immature with the way I speak.

He is a serious man who establishes his authority and people fear him. He is close to 40, and divorced once.

I tried to be more serious and grumpy and started scolding people but it made me miserable.

Should I quit my job without any backup plan? Is it true that my work life and personal life is horrible? I am doubting myself now that he keeps nagging the same thing to me everyday.

I can’t find another job that has the same title or salary, and no one accepts me even though I am perfectly OK to have other titles or lower salary.

Here are what netizens think:

• He’s just worried cos he knows he’s lacking and may be replaced by you. You really didn’t notice that?

• Quitting your job will only prove that he is correct about you, childish and immature. If you have other nice colleagues around you and he is the only one making such comments about you, why quit just because of his immature jealous remarks?

• Then why he promote u if he thinks you are childish and immature? Aiyah I wouldn’t care lah as long as the money is good. That’s in your pocket who cares what he says. One ear in one ear out, orh orh orh be super serious when he’s around and joke when he’s not around 

• I hear envy from his comments. As long as your personal life doesn’t affect your work life, it’s none of his business. Don’t share any more personal info to him. Sounds like you are possibly more likeable to other colleagues and he doesn’t like that since he has been there longer. He’s trying to manipulate you. Don’t play his game.

• Manage your own way. At the C suite level, there shouldn’t be micromanagement at such a low level, since the consequences of any poor management style will come back on you anyway.

I have been paying rent to live in my parents house since I was 19.

At first I was totally fine with it since I wanted to drop school because I was doing very poorly in school, so I decided to work my dad told me if I wasn’t going to school I have to pay both the water bill and the electric bill which I agreed.

After I quit I decided to work at another place once a week this job only pays $100 a day for about 10 hours of work but it’s a lot more enjoyable, and since now I spent time at home I help out around the house I take my sister to and from work and school, I help take care of my mom’s baby will she does whatever else and I go and run whatever kind of errands they need me too as well.

I work at a furniture store and every day I have customers tell me “Ok well I have to measure.” or “I’ll be back!” This means nothing more than “have a nice life” in the sales world.

If you actually tell the salesperson the truth like “I’m looking to spend about $500 less than that” or “I just don’t like the style of the furniture you have” will often lead you to save a lot of money or you finding something you do like. How?

Because we sales folk work off a profit margin. If it costs us $100 to get a chair, we’re going to sell that chair for whatever we can over $100. Most often the sales tags are 2-3 times the cost. So just divide the cost in half and bargain with them. Say “I see that table is $500. Is there any way you’d be willing to sell it for $250?” They’ll say no, the lowest they can go is $400. And now you just saved $100. If they refuse to go down in their price, just say thanks and leave. They’ll get the hint.

Most furniture companies are able to get hundreds of pieces of furniture, it’s just impossible to have it all on the floor. So if you tell them you don’t like the style of furniture you see, most likely they’ll have about 20 different catalogs of stuff you can choose from. Even if you don’t buy, you’ll still let them know that their selection isn’t appealing.

Just remember- Most of the time they aren’t going to say “no” when you ask for a reasonably lower price, so long as you’re willing to pay for it in full or at least putting a large percentage down.

• Ask what cash prices are. Some places will give you huge discounts for cash.
• If you want to take some time and mull over your decision or even go to other stores to compare, have a salesperson write down the deal that you’ve negotiated. You can use this to leverage other stores.
• Buy furniture in bunches. Don’t go to one place for a mattress, the other for a table, and another for a couch. If you’re going to buy a lot of items, make that clear to the salesperson. “I’ve just moved here and I’m too tired to deal with multiple stores and I’d like to buy all my stuff from one place. Give me the best deal and my business is yours.”

Married but had a crush on my married colleague

I am married for many years but had a very bad crush on my colleague a few years back who was newly married.

We didn’t developed into an affair because I love my husband deeply but I was so confused about myself and my feelings towards him. Can you love 2 person at the same time?

My colleague wasn’t even a catch or typically attractive in anyways with a potbelly and occasional bad breath when he forgot to brush in the morning. He also talks like an old man despite being only 37 years old when I met him.

I wasn’t even interested in him at all at the beginning and he was the one who always come and talk to me. The only reason I had feelings was because he wore his NS No. 4 Uniform one day and for some reason when speaking to him the feeling that he was actually attractive struck me like lightning. Seriously, I know it is super weird and funny even for me, but I found him handsome from that day onwards.

It seems like his marriage also not so good because when he spoke of his wife it was as if she is his boss and he is scare of her. Not sure why haha. Anyways I thought it’s okay to be closer to him but not so close because I love my husband and cannot imagine hurting him in anyway. So me and my colleague just texted each other and play mobile games together.

I won’t get jealous, maybe I just enjoyed a little attention from my colleague and also because despite him being uncle and all that he is infact a very nice guy. I always thought if I met him very much earlier we will have date each other and ended up getting married. Occasionally though I still feel like eventually we will end up mutually hating each other because he is niao person and hyper focus on making money and likes branded goods which I despises. I like how my life is and living simply and within my means and work hard to lead a dignified life.

I guess the reason why I wanna write this was because I felt bad being close to him but was unable to ignore how I felt. Thank goodness my sanity didn’t let me stray and maybe my colleague is not interested in me also I think even though he gets jealous very easily. If I talk to other male colleagues he will pass sarcastic remarks then I will have lots of question marks and if I ask if he likes me he will avoid answering and ignore my question. Basically I don’t want a relationship with him but I really genuinely wish to know if he likes me back and that it was not just me that is all. It is nice to have some romantic imagination after being married for so long until I can’t remember how dating was like.

And now that we are estranged and working at different places, I really hope he and his young wife are both happy together.

Long but valid rant below.

I am a Malaysian PR who has been working in Singapore for over 4 years now. Like every other Malaysian who is working in Singapore, I came here with only one thing in mind, hoping for a better future and able to provide a better life for my family back home. Now I am not so sure anymore.

Prices are increasing now. And I will soon be a third-year PR which means a 20% deduction of CPF.

At the time my disposable income will be even lower. Every month a whole chunk of my income is for the rent and I don’t know how long until my landlord would inform me of the rental increment. I heard the rental for some of my friends has increased as much as SGD900 per unit.

That’s insane. My landlord asked for a copy of my lease a few weeks ago, I was so scared I told him I have lost it. I am currently making a salary of SGD3,400 but after deduction of CPF, I am getting SGD2,800-ish. After paying the rental for my small room, all I have left is SGD2000.

The transport, the food and the PUB have all gone up in price. Other than that, I have to pay allowance to my family, insurance, phone bills and some monthly commitments back home. At the end of the month, I barely have two coins rubbed together.

When I moved here from Malaysia, I told myself I was going to enjoy my life here, I don’t want to fill my life with works and only money. But now I have to choose money over life because having a life means spending money here in Singapore.

PR asking for assistance like Singaporeans

The government has assured the people that assistance will be provided but only for Singaporeans.

What about us? We have left our homeland, our beloved family (some of us even left their kids back home) to come here for a better life and to contribute to the economy here. But what do we get in return? Don’t get me wrong. I will always be appreciative of the privilege the government has given us the Malaysian as compared to other nationalities. But to be honest, most work pass holders and PRs are the most vulnerable under this climate. Sometimes I am really frustrated by all the chaos going on around the world that’s started by the top 1% most elitist group.

They are enjoying all the resources that one commoner like us could only dream for. Yet they are still trying everything to make life more difficult for us who come from the bottom of the pyramid.

I know posting this here might subject me to some of the harsh critics from some readers. For example, what about the construction workers from Bangladesh and Pakistan or the domestic helpers from Indonesia and the Philippines. But this doesn’t mean my complain is not valid. As a work pass holder, we always face oppression from the employer. Because they knew we were expendable. They knew they could always get someone across the border to replace us, easily. Even though it the shut down of the border for the past two years has made employers’ life (only those who abuse this system) miserable. But the COVID is also another burden added on over shoulder. I remember me staying in my room alone during COVID breakdown, crying while everyone was shouting out from their unit for frontline workers. I felt so lonely and I miss my family. I am sure every other Malaysian who is working in Singapore shared the same emotion.

I am already getting words from some of my friends that they plan to move back Malaysia for good. I am not sure, I like Singapore so much but if the situation getting worse maybe I will look for another plan. I can’t imagine the life after GST hikes to 8% and 9%. It’s just so much uncertainties now.