Unusual behaviour from a female manager

I am a female who started working for a new company earlier this year. For the past six months, I have noticed unusual behaviour from my female manager (she chose me to work with her):

– I caught her eavesdropped on my conversation with another colleague after work

– refused to help me with an important task. I ended up having to seek assistance from others from another department

– each time I came up with new ideas, she will openly take them

– her constant focus on me while paying less attention to other employees whom I saw were doing personal activities during office hours

– I bought chocolates for the office, and later that day, she, too, bought chocolates for the office

I don’t understand why she is doing all these strange things. Can anybody explain her behaviour, please? Thanks in advance.

Here are what netizens think:

• She sounds like a B who’s jealous of you. Wait till you meet one who imitates yr hairstyle, makeup and dressing anyway, keep yr ideas to yourself and share only when it’s for work and you have to, just work honestly and perhaps see if you need to find a new job if you can’t than.

• She sees you as competition, someone who can supersede her. She probably concern you will eventually take her place

• She is your long lost mother.

• You think too much .. you pay attention on her and your other colleagues too much .. the saying If you don’t pay attention on her how you know she pay attention on you

• no need to pay attention to insignificant people by including them in your daily thoughts. I don’t mean they’re not important but why bother to mess up our mental health if we can choose to ignore them and be happy, those people are harmless anyway..

Dont share ideas during interview phase for any company. Share snippets maybe?

Here is to the big commerce giant. You posted a job posting online looking for someone to fill in. I applied and went for 4 interviews in a span of 1 month ( 1 each week).

1st (HR), 2nd with team lead and team lead’s boss, 3rd with another HR but higher up the ladder again. Finally, 4th with team lead f2f. The rest was online.

2nd interview : I’m told my resume fits their JD and it is want they are looking for (exact words). IMO,not the smoothest interview but decent enough. Really good vibes from both of them.

3rd interview : I’m told that they would schedule the next interview asap because they wouldn’t want to lose a good lead ( exact words from them btw). Again, really good vibes from the interview.

Wah, really make me waku waku.

4th interview : face to face. Went down to their HQ. Met up with the team lead for like a short interview / short intro to the current team. She asked what would be something that i would change that help improve the department. I gave my honest feedback to her. Interview ended shortly after. Good vibes once more, she showed great enthusiasm after the exchange of ideas.

Coming back to this week, the ‘ you have been rejected’ email came in.

Reason from them? Many strong candidates for my position.( very fair)

Then when i went to their app, they literally implemented my suggestions to their design this week. MINDBLOWN. What happened to your strong candidates? Where are their ideas? I’m totally prepared to sell my soul for the company but i got played dirty. ( my tombstone already engraved with my location of death at your HQ)

Overall, they gave me the impression that we would be able to work together and can’t wait to get me into their team. I really believed it. But at this point, it just feels like you had no idea what you are looking for. You set out to find ideas / suggestions without intention to hire. I would think it’s a pretty dirty thing to do especially for a big company.

Apart from work life balance issues in the company, seems like you can add this in i suppose.

On a positive note, i am truly happy that you implemented my suggestions( though no thanks or credits received). The customer service side of me is happy to help people around.

However, don’t give hope to candidates by saying things like ( We don’t want to lose a good lead)

I’m currently working for a smaller company now and sometimes i get tasked to be HR. I have never nor will i ever mislead people like that. Or worse, take their ideas for your own.

But then again, they rescinded job offers this week. So maybe that is the reason?

Anyway, just a rant. Thanks for listening / reading

Just be careful for any job seekers out there.

Why or how is our causeway border still so congested after so many years of friendly relations with Malaysia?
Question
Like yes, I know, peak hour is peak hour, no matter how you mitigate, sure will have long queue….

My beef is that why Malaysia don’t just turn their checkpoint into automatic gates for us Singaporeans.

I sorta know the partial answer, it’s because there isn’t anything pushing them for them to do so, need to spend money etc.

But it’s going to be a net benefit for both nations, its just going to save everyone time when they don’t have to deal with the fickle minded customs officer.

Netizens’ comments

• 12 counters and only 4 manned plus so slow. No prizes for guessing which side.
• You want the truth? Malaysian customs inefficient.
  • It’s not just Malaysia tho? I mean, the Malaysian side is usually worse, but I’ve spent >30 min in queue on the Singapore side both leaving and returning to SG at both Tuas and Woodlands.
• That’s honestly nth compared to the Malaysia side. I don’t know if it’s unwillingness to spend more resources or what, but it’s just so slow and they never seem to operate at full capacity as well.
  Just last week I went – on a busy Saturday night, there were only 5 immigration officers clearing for hundreds (maybe even thousands) of Singaporeans that night, at the rate of like 1 person cleared every 2 mins on average.
• What would be the motivation for the Malaysian side to be efficient? While there is no denying that Malaysians love their country, taking pride in it is a wholly different manner.

Why do service staff acknowledge male presence more than female

I (30M) noticed that most male service staff acknowledge me and talk to me nicer than my wife (30F).

My wife is the nicest person to service staff and smiles and greets them. She has clear communication and speaks perfectly fine.

However I notice they are usually curt and impatient with their response to her while they call me “sir” and would only engage with me when we both are infront of them. We also noticed that when my wife leads the conversation with service staff or grab drivers, they would reply to me instead of to her.

This happens with f&b staff, grab drivers etc. And it is always male staff/drivers. She also notices this and we are both frustrated about this. Does anyone else experience this as well?

Netizens’ comments

• They assume you are the one paying. Almost similar to restaurants when asking for the bill, the staff would typically present it to the guy.
• My guess is that the service staff tend to assume that you are the one footing the bill based on your gender and that your wife is just tagging along
• There may not be anything to say because it depends on context. Sometimes staff make assumptions on who is going to make the purchase decision based on whether they’re working in male/female targeted retail outlets. Some staff may feel comfortable talking to men, and you just lucked out. But it’s hard to prove.

Is 800sgd a good deal for rent?

My take home salary is 3k sgd. Do you think 800sgd rent for a common solo room is a good deal? I’ll be co-living in a condo with other people but same nationality (Filipina here).

Not sure how much will PUB cost but I estimate it will be around 70 to 90 sgd? In total it will be around 30% salary. Condo is near my workplace (only 2 stops from bus).

Also I’m also looking at another place. Has a roommate but the rent is only around 500 sgd ( PUB included). Quite near my workplace as well.

This will be my first time renting in Singapore so I’m really not quite sure about the whole renting situation. Would appreciate all your thoughts. Thank you!

Netizens’ comments

1. Considering the price and how near it is to your work, I would say it is a good deal to get the condo. I would also recommend to be clear with any existing rules around shared common areas (any bathroom scheduling? How many people are sharing the common toilet? do you share a washing machine and do you have a set laundry day?).
2. $800 for a common solo room in a condo seems reasonably priced! Maybe just for reference, my acquaintance used to rent a HDB master bedroom (bedroom + connected bathroom) for around $1.1K per month? So yours seems like a good deal! I think utilities could be within what you’ve written or a bit lower, depending on how many people are sharing the condo together. You can budget around $80-90 per month since I think the electricity prices might rise again. In that way, since condo is near your workplace, you’re saving on transport!
   It depends if you’re okay w sharing the room with someone else for the $500Sgd (inclusive of utilities). Remember to budget for wifi prices too tho! Idk if people charge extra for wifi or not

I think i am depressed.

I have made many bad financial decisions since i started working in 2011. Recently i fall into a job scam and lost about $45000, and that is the last straw. Since then, i haven’t been myself.

I decided to do a tabulation, and all in all, for the past 11 years or so, i have lost at least $200 000 (bad investment, stocks, forex, scam etc). My husband also lost quite a bit of money in the stock market (about $150 000). All these are very painful experience as i do not earn much (Started with 2k+ per month, and now hitting 5k+ per month). My husband left his job previously and is not working for the past few years as he is pursuing further studies. We have no children and we stay in a HDB.

Based on my single income, we can still manage a decent living. However, every time i think about the financial loss we had, it will bring chills. We could have paid off our housing loan or have enjoyed more with our earnings rather than saving them away and “investing” it, with now ended with nothing. It is years of hard work and very thrifty lifestyle. Although i have some emergency, i can’t help but to feel very “poor” and insecure.

I don’t know what i should do. I seems to have lost myself and don’t have the passion to do anything. Other than working and going home, i don’t even feel like stepping out of the house. Since i am clearing my leave recently, i have been staying home for the past one week, doing nothing and just watching drama brainlessly, sleeping at 4am and waking up after 11am. I didn’t even feel like step out of the house or talk to anyone. I have a list of things that i wanted to do but i just don’t feel like it.

Is this normal? What can i do to recover?

Here are what netizens think:

• The advice telling you to cheer up and be glad you don’t have a chronic illness instead is misplaced. If we just remembered we could be living with pirates in Somalia, then all mental health issues would be cured.

• Dwelling on the money you lost isn’t going to bring it back. I think the more important lesson is what you have learned from those losses.

• how did you manage to save so much w ur income

• Ive lost some money due to scam also n end up with bank loans. Many would judge and say that im stupid and stuffs, but i dont get it into my head. No point dwelling the lost cause, instead keep on moving forward by planning how to recoup ur savings and stop doing anything that woukd risk ur hard earned salary. Hope ur husband gets a job soon cuz it will definately help both of u in future. Pick urself up and start planning. 

This post will contain death, terminal cancer, and blood, please do not read if those things bother you.

Something needs to be done about bicycle headlights

I can’t be the only one is frikin annoyed at these cyclists with their overpowered headlights. Like you do understand you’re essentially high-beaming everyone who’s approaching from the opposite direction, and making it more dangerous for others?

I used to think they used the high powered headlights to illuminate the path in front of them but then I realized that most of these fools point their lights directly up so that it blinds oncoming traffic.

Honestly there needs to be some kind of regulation about this, I literally almost got run over by a group of cyclists, uncle’s and aunties on their stupid foldable bikes, who yelled and scolded me for being on the wrong side of the path as they zoomed past me with their high beams at full blast. They literally only slowed down to scold me

I’m so mad honestly, there should be some kind of maximum brightness allowed for bike headlights. We may even need to do some public education since it seems like more and more Singaporeans have taken up cycling and have brought their shitty entitled attitudes with them as well.

Sorry not sorry. Rant over.

Netizens’ comments

• The flashing headlights are really bad also!
  • (OP) Those are the worst, especially on dimly lit pedestrian walkways. It causes a strobe light effect, making it even more difficult to gauge the speed and distance as they approach. Idk how some of these people can be so inconsiderate. All they have to do is angle their lights to shine in front of their front wheel. Oncoming cyclists can still see them, they can see the path better in front of them. Double win.
    But no, instead they chose to flicker their high-beams and get mad when people don’t react to their presence lolll

Right, so I’ve never done this sort of thing before. My next targeted client is in his late thirties, married, rich, busy, and not getting any from his wife.

He’s not that repulsive but also not someone I’d normally sleep with.

He is offering me $5000 a month to sleep with him twice a month. Should I do it?

Renegotiating.

I told him to throw in one-off air tickets to a place of my choice and a Rolex to complete the deal, but I do not know why I am renegotiating for more money, guess I am tempted.

But is $60,000 a year worth it? I just need to do it for 3 years and with my current salary of $3,500. I would have almost half a million by the 3rd or 4th year of doing this.

Reasons why I shouldn’t:

• This might be a really slippery slope and I might get addicted to easy money.
• It’ll probably be damaging to my self-esteem.
• I worry about how my sex/love life will change once I have done this.
• It’s not exactly safe work.

The reason why I should:

I am a poor. No matter which way I look at it, $5000 is a whole lot of money for 2 hours of work.

Here are what netizens think:

• $60k/year is more than a lot of University graduates make. milk him as long as you can. SAVE THE MONEY

• I’m gonna be honest with you. I am not going to judge you and talk about morality. As a matter of practicality, I believe that the psychological effects of you going through with it, will end up not being worth the money.

• Get the cash first and go all out! Then raise your price exponentially and only give him the time of day when you’re getting paid.
• I’d do it, but do it with your eyes open. He’s essentially buying you

\I choose male escorts over dating and I have no regrets.

I’m (2XF) a mother of two. I married the first man who took my V, just like I planned.

We divorced when he cheated on me. I knew that I will never marry again, this experience is obviously common but it shattered my trust in relationship.

I have a time consuming job who is incompatible with dating and meet new people, I also have motherhood responsabilities and I would rather spend time and money on my kids happiness than chasing men.

Anyway, both my work and being a mother are deal breaker for lot of single men, let’s not kids ourselves.

I would have deal with abstinence if I was older but damn, not bragging, in term of self confidence and physical health I’m in my peak. AND I WANT TO ENJOY IT. Didn’t spend so much money in gym and get on diets to be a nun.

But you most likely guessed by now I have a bigger issue: I just don’t trust men, anymore and I have neither the the time and motivation to learn to trust one. Especially for casual relations. I want something simple and there is only one way to have it simple.

Once per month, I spent $300-450 ~ with MEN. It’s for my needs mostly but I enjoy the attention, the cuddles and kisses. Since he is professional, feelings are out of the table and I prefer savings money for my children so I don’t see him more than once monthly.

And that’s the less problematic relationship I ever had. There is no drama, he respects my boundaries, listen to what I say and I feel like I won the lottery.

I don’t even have to tell about my sentimental life, nobody ask me more than once when I say I went through a divorce.

Another bonus is the double standard who play in my favour: I don’t feel ashamed or guilty, we basically ignored in that field.

We all know how men who see “chicken” are perceived as ho**y pervs who see women as products and are taking advantage of desperate vulnerable women. It may be true for a significant amount of them, those criticisms are valid and I admit it, I would always be wary with men who pay for it (before you call me out for my hypocrisy, I had this stand the same way as most of us, those men are hardly respected by the general consensus and I do admit that I have a irrational distrust of men in general)

but I’m actually convinced that most of them just admitted sooner what I realized: I just want to satisfy my physical needs and get attention and feel attractive without the risk of heartbreak, loss of self confidence, without the dreads and regrets.

Something simple.

I understand that is a shady profession with lot of moral and legal challenges and that’s NOT the place to argue about pro or against.

I’m, in my experience, satisfied and happy with it. Far from the stereotypes I believed before and was ideal for what I needed.

I keep my independence, have time for my family and is satisfied. All wins in my book.