My gf(F24) and I (F32) have been together since 2 years. We live together. She has been quite lazy and low lately, mostly because of her work not being great. She sometimes has these phases where she decides to do everything in one day and change her life. Today it was “i will clean my office today and start working from tomorrow”

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Dating my bf close to 3 months but I saw something on his YouTube feed that might be a red flag.

We were watching YouTube together, but I notice his home page is full of videos of people like Jordan Peterson, and the titles of the videos are quite insensitive. I did not question him then, but when I researched myself, I found out that these people are like men’s rights activists and are quite misogynistic.

I would consider myself a feminist, so I brought up his YouTube history with him, and he says he just watches it “for fun”. Idk if this is true, or will he abuse me or something in the future. So far, he has never been physical with me and has been quite nice. We do have occasional arguments, but he would apologise later.

But I do notice lately that he has been less gentlemanly compared to when we first started dating. Like previously he would always pay for our dates, and sometimes I would offer to split, but he never would let me pay. But nowadays, often he actually accepts when I offered to pay half. I mean, I know I shouldn’t expect him to pay for all our dates, but I just felt disappointed how he treated me so well before, but he changed after getting comfortable with me. I feel like those videos are making him less gentlemanly.

Idk if this is a red flag I should look out for, or should I tell him to stop watching those videos? Any girls have bfs who watches those videos?

The girl was flamed by netizens:

• If you are a true feminist, you should be happy that he finally treats you as an equal and allow you to pay for your share.

• Half the time they leave out the subtext of the interpretation of equality, which is “when convenient”

• guess feminists like her wants to be treated like a queen. just wow

• You consider yourself a feminist, which would mean that you at least agree with fighting for female rights, but then you have an issue when men’s rights activists are fighting for men’s rights? So only female rights are worth fighting for, but not men’s rights? If you think Jordan Peterson’s content is misogynistic, clearly you have not researched enough. Because rational women would actually agree with Jordan Peterson.

• What’s wrong with letting you pay half? So you’re supposed to be the progressive modern feminist woman who breaks gender stereotypes, who is supposed to be able to have the same or higher education as men, have the same career as men, earn the same pay as men, but when it comes to dates, somehow none of the progressive feministic idelogies apply and now the man is expected to assume the traditional gender role of the provider while you assume the traditional gender role of being provided for? See, this is the hypocrisy of the modern feminist woman. They want “progressiveness” only when it benefits them. They proclaim to want to break gender sterotypes and gender roles, but what they actually mean is they want to be as modern as they want but the man has to stay traditional.

Mother asking me (25F) to buy her expensive items

Recently started working (1+ year ago) Mom keeps asking me to buy her expensive items (e.g IPhone, holidays, restaurant meals) she is quite a spendthrift and once racked up $10k in credit card bills and barely has any savings (less then $20k).

I’m quite a thrifty person in comparison (buy hawker meals, take public transport)

I don’t give her allowance but I put aside money ($300/month) for parents into an index funds account as a safety net for their retirement.

It’s been a point of tension between us because she feels like I’m not giving her money, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be spent asap.

Am I wrong for saving the money for her? Or is it her “right” as a parent to get allowance from me to “repay” her back?

I’m not sure if I’m the only one facing this issue? How would you guys react??

Netizens’ comments

• Communicate it and voice out your concern. If she wants allowance, she can, however when she use finish cannot ask for more.
• communicate it. yes she’s ur parent but it sounds like she wants you to fund her lifestyle, and no offence she can’t over use the fact that you’re making money because she raised you when you were a child and provided necessities , that’s her job as a mother.
  I’m sure you love her but do communicate this and don’t let the tension fester bc it’ll get worse . What’s she been doing w the $300 you put aside for them? Or you can just get her ONE of the things she’s asked for, and for the rest she can save up for those items with the allowance u give her.
  I’m not working, not even close but i know for a fact that lack of communication and festered unresolved tension can and will eventually hugely strain or break the relationship . Apologies if i sounded harsh. in the end you know ur mother best. Best wishes

I am 19 this year, It is my first trip to Bangkok and I just had a massage and the masseuse touched me inappropriately

Got photo of my body taken by uncle on mrt

Just still kinda shaken up honestly posting here just because I’m full of regret and blaming myself.

I know he was taking pictures of me because I’ve been glancing at him for a while now in the mrt and he had his phone angled at me and everything, would pretend to fiddle with it if he caught me looking at him.

Stared at him for a good minute after he pointed his phone at me upright for a really long time and when he noticed he panicked and his phone slipped a bit to tilt downwards, saw he was on the camera app, could tell because I could clearly see the white circle to take pics and the moving surroundings through the camera screen.

I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to cause a scene. I’m paranoid of going viral and stuff and there are many instances of like people blaming the girl for what she was wearing or whatever esp in like comments.

You know, the usual “if she dress liddat she should expect to be taken photo of” or wtv. I shouldn’t even be trying to justify myself but I’m just naturally more endowed I guess and sometimes my tops don’t fit me properly.

I dunno man I hate myself so much just alighted at next stop and tried to forget this happened. Really didn’t know what to do, 50 year old man probably has pics of my body in his phone now

Netizens’ comments

There’s nothing to regret or blame.

If this old cheekopeh took some photo, it’s not the end of the world. He will probably share to his WhatsApp etc but in the end, you broke no laws so you don’t need to panic or be afraid

Next steps is up to you. If this has pissed you off enough, make a police report and force the issue. If you don’t want to, either because it’s a hassle or because ps to explain to the police, that’s fine too. In some cases like this you can’t change the outcome, you can only change your response to the situation.