Is 16 year age gap too big? I’m 36 and he is 52

Curious anyone else’s experience with an age gap relationship. What did you find challenging (if anything) and what was easy? I’d love any and all input!

My biggest issue is: His female friends his age refuse to meet me bc they think I am too young for him and are jaded.

I’ve been kind and always ask about them still and take an interest but the same isn’t true the other way. This has been frustrating for me bc I don’t see what the big deal is.

The best things: He’s mature, has his life together (as do I-I’m not a gold digger at all as I have my own houses – one I rent one I live in, full time career and am established).

we have similar taste in many things (music, food, health/fitness- walking daily etc.), both quirky with being tidy (always have a clean home, both hate clutter, keep up with self cleanliness etc.)

we enjoy each other’s company and don’t really notice the age gap or any limitations for us at this point in our lives. But I’d love to hear from others

Netizens’ comments

From how you’ve described the relationship, no, the age gap isn’t an issue. But, what seems to be an issue is his female friends’ approval due to the age gap. I can tell you that their disapproval has nothing to do with their concern for him but probably more to do with you being a younger woman and them being jealous. Make no mistake about it, their conversations about you when he’s not around probably go like: “Why can’t he date someone closer to his own age?” and “He’s just dating her for the sex”.

I wouldn’t force a relationship with them and would more than likely just keep his friendship with them just between him and them.

Our gahmen always tell us about tradeoffs. U gain something, must sacrifice other things. Cannot have everything. Tradeoff also apply to family. Like how my wife gave me a beautiful baby girl. But gained 8kg because of pregnancy. How i know? She measures her weight every 2 days and tell me. I always suan her. Pregnant that time told you don’t eat so much, now see so hard to lose.

But at least gained 8kg not so bad la. I always assure her she still my beloved. At least she didn’t lose her hair. She always ownself scare ownself, scared she will lose all her hair during pregnancy. I thought she would really become like Gollum from LOTR.

But hor, got 2 things really quite ugly I don’t dare to tell her. One is the patch on her face. I think its called melasma. Doctor said it should go away after a few months. *should*. If still there how? No more flawless skin ley.

Then the other one is the stretch marks on her tummy. The creams like useless one. Beauty marks my foot. Doctor say it would get better over time. Dunno if he bluffing or what.

When become a new father, I also find myself become a liar. Always have to tell her she’s still as pretty as last time. The stretch marks not obvious one ( yeah right). Honestly la, how can before and after pregnancy be the same? Husband life not easy ley.

We’ve been together for quite a while and she recently moved into my place. We got into a very nasty fight this morning, but we worked it out and decided to apologize to each other in the afternoon.

However, she was still feeling a bit salty for the entire evening. I went to bed early, because I had to wake up early while she stayed up late to watch TV.

At some point she came to sleep with me. I heard her walking in and woke up, but pretended to be asleep because I was just planning to go back to sleep, not thinking much of it.

Then it happened. I felt the nastiest slap ever on my face. It literally came out of nowhere and I couldn’t even process what happened.

My reaction was stupid – I said “wtf babe was there a bug on me or something?” (Yes it’s stupid I know, but I just answered by instinct”). She said yeah there was a bug and went to sleep.

I confronted her next day about it. I told her I was wide awake and that I was cautious enough to know there was no damn bug.

I asked her why she hit me. She got nervous and told me it was a “prank” and that I shouldn’t take it serious.

She later apologized, but not like she means it, more like when your mother makes you apologize for something dumb and you do it by default, you get it right…

This is a deal breaker, isn’t it? I’ve lost complete trust of her.

So i’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and he comes from money.

I’ve never wanted it to seem weird and I’ve never asked him for anything but he is extremely generous, as our his parents. I love his mom. I did not grow up in a warm family and we just bonded right away. She’s relatively young and definitely the fun type of parent who wants to be friends with their kid.

They invited us to one of their vacation houses and after a few days he went with his dad to visit a family friend. They were going to be gone two nights so I ended up hanging out/sleeping in his mom’s bed. Worst experience of my life, she rolled over the entire night, ended up on top of me, tried to wrap herself around me.

So his dad has another child who is significantly older than my boyfriend and the wife and daughter hate each other, like she wasn’t allowed at the wedding and it’s very recent that they can even be in the same house.

We wanted to play a prank, so the second night I hung out in his mom’s bed again and when she fell asleep the stepdaughter switched places with me, so she woke up cuddling the person she hates the most in the world.

She thinks her stepdaughter is “ugly and gross” in a very immature refuses to touch her way.

I still maintain it was funny, but his mom was reasonably pissed. Today his mom took me shopping and told me she was going to buy me a Louis Vuitton bag.

For those of you who don’t know they are usually a couple thousand and I’ve always wanted one, though she doesn’t know how badly.

We went to the store and we only got to the door before she told me she was kidding. I tried to laugh it off because I pranked her first but I was pretty devastated. When we got home I cried in my room and my boyfriend got very upset.

He said his family isn’t obligated to buy me anything and it’s just a bag. I get that, but it’s not like I asked her for it and I was just disappointed. I think he worries about girls using him for his money but I feel like I should be able to cry in front of him.

How I always get my seat in train

I notice this method makes guys give up their seat. If I am in tights I normally stand close in front of the guy so that he feels uncomfortable and moves off.

If I am in dress, I move close enough to let my dress flow over his knees and it is enough for the guy to normally get off his seat.

Netizens’ comments

• Even if you sit on my lap, I also won’t give up the seat. Or perhaps you didn’t wash properly and the smell chased them away..
• I bet u are also that type of mrt commuter who will stand annoyingly close to a person so that the person will feel uncomfortable enough to move and give up their standing spot for u? Why u need to sit so badly? Never hear of first come first serve meh, unless you’re an elderly then have to give up seat? Wait elderly don’t wear tights and dress.
• If you are chio, some men won’t move away one
• I will usually use my backpack to bump people like you to indicate you are too close
• I think it is not because of what you wear, it is because you smell. Especially at the nose level of the seated guy.
• I usually “accidentally” step on toes or my leg will “twitch” when I feel a cloth too close to my knees 

I hope my MIL gives me some family time

I am not saying my MIL is a bad person, but I hope she can give some family time for me to be with my son.

I am 43, my wife is 36, definitely we know how to take care of our own 5 years old son. But just yesterday, for example, I know I cannot but to smile and welcome her to our house again, when she has already had the weekdays to take care of my son.

My wife and I take turns to give her a sum of money monthly to babysit for us in her house when we go to work.

But during weekends, before I can plan any activity to bring my son out, my wife would tell me that her mother is coming to our house.

Not that I do not welcome her, but whenever she comes over, it is like a soft army style of stand by the house. She would pick all the flaws she can find in the house.

For example, she told me that there are ants in the potato chips yesterday, which I don’t find any, she just threw them away and said she would buy some for me when she comes again.

She knows her own daughter seldom help with housework, so I have to make sure the house is clean and tidy before she comes.

She would buy all sort of food for us to eat, for fear we didn’t eat enough on a Sunday. I want my son to use a spoon to learn to eat by himself, but then my MIL would always feed him.

I dare not oppose whatever my MIL does, as I know my wife would be sandwiched between me and her mother if we quarrel.

Can someone advise me on how to build a better relation with my MIL without having to give in anything on my part? Thank you.

Before the year ends, just want to let this out.

Be prepared for a long story ahead.

In the middle of this 2020, I used a car rental service called (“T”) to rent a car to run some errands. It wasn’t my first time using this service. Unfortunately, while using the rental car, my mom accidentally bumped into another car. It was a very light bump, with a small scratch on the other car and an almost invisible scratch on the rented car. No one was injured. I took photos of both cars and other necessary information.

The third party whose car my mom accidentally scratched contacted me and said he might not want to pursue this further as it is just a small scratch. Nevertheless, as a rule-abiding hirer, I reported this incident to T and subsequently understand that the car that my mom was using was under a car rental company called S. I understood it as T being a platform (not owning any cars) who engaged car rental companies (e.g. S) to use their fleet of cars, correct me if I am wrong. Someone from S contacted me (hereafter called “R”) to guide me through the details for this accident process.

Anyway, T told me to rent the same car for the next few days to bring to an inspection centre to assess the damage, this sounds reasonable, I am paying for the loss of income of the car (other people might have rented the car to use). On the day of bringing the car to the inspection centre, T provided me with two wrong addresses and made me drive around looking for the correct workshop and wasting my time. At the inspection, the person basically took a few photos and had a call with T and said I could go back.

suka suka asked to pay maximum excess

And I thought it was all over. Until R contacts me a few days later and asked me to pay the insurance excess of $2,000 (such a nice rounded number which isn’t listed on T’s website or anywhere at all).

He starts telling me a lot of jargon and stuff that a layman wouldn’t understand. Thanks to this incident, I also understood more about the word ‘excess’. Initially, I feel very angry that he suddenly throw me this $2,000 amount ($2,140 including GST) and ask me to pay up. And after reading up and asking my friend, I found out this is an amount that I needed to pay IF insurance is activated. He told me that scratches on the other vehicle will be claimed against us (aka me). When I probed further for photos, repair costs, and receipts of repairs for the other vehicle, he said he will revert back to me with full details once he has all the necessary costs. Hello?!

You don’t have the details you want to ask me to pay $2,000?

Eventually, the amount they finally quoted me is ~$700. Breakdown of $X for the third party vehicle (this is a reasonable amount), $Y for the rented vehicle and $Z for loss of income for the rented vehicle for the days that it is being repaired. So they tell me I don’t have to pay excess anymore, just this amount.

T keeps giving me a tight deadline to transfer the money to them. I wanted to know EXACTLY what I was paying for. I asked for the invoices for repair (if you repair at a workshop there is an invoice right?) and the photos of before and after the repairs. T came up with a generic invoice (damage repair and spray paint and administrative fee) for the $Y just to shut me up. No photos. How to believe that they actually did the repairs? The workshop is under you, the car is yours, I can’t just take everything at face value right?

Workshop name don’t have

I asked for the workshop name, and more details with regards to the invoice. And the person told me that the repairs have not been done yet. Then how do you get the invoice? The person specifically told me that I can get the photos of the vehicle after I paid the amount, after they repair. I wanted to SEE the repairs before paying. I even offered to go down to the workshop and pay on the spot because T told me they can’t pay for the repairs before I pay up the amount. I OFFERED to go down and pay and everything. Guess what? They slap me with a “This is a final warning, pay by this date or we will take legal actions towards you” – kind of email. I just wanted to know the exact repairs done. It’s not that I want to avoid paying for this accident, I merely just want to know what I am paying for. Is that wrong?

After being in a turmoil for days, I have no choice but to pay up the amount, because I simply don’t have the financial means to ‘fight’ against T or be in a legal case over this. After paying that $700, T still continued to disable the account and I have tried multiple attempts writing in to the Customer Service, talking through the online chat, but it just seems like that account is being ‘blacklisted’ and they don’t care about any requests about that account.

I stopped using T ever since and closed my account, forsaking the e-money I have left in the account. A joke here is, my mom and I each have an account with T. So when I sent in two separate emails to request for termination of the accounts, guess what? T only replied to the email for my account, the one not involved in this incident. Totally ignoring the email for my mom’s account.

Throughout this entire thing, T (or R) keeps wanting to act as the liaison between the third party and me, saying that they will liaise with the third party to see if any payment or repairs is needed for their car etc. This is very suspicious and I see it as T (or R) wanting to act as the middleman and rip as much as they can from me (just my thought). I tried contacting the third party by myself but he seems to be ignoring my messages or seem to have arrived at some form of agreement with T (or R). There are also other ‘suspicious’ points, like asking me to pay up $2,000 with no concrete details and subsequently arriving at another amount. What if I have actually paid the $2,000?

EVEN TILL NOW, after paying that $700, I have yet to see a single photo of the repairs done (that was promised by T) or where exactly repairs were even needed (lol). It’s like paying up the money because T asked me to pay up and threatened me with a legal case if I don’t. I didn’t see where my money went to. That is the most infuriating/unjust part of this entire thing.

I have evidence of emails/chat conversations/pictures for the things I mentioned above. A part of me really wants ‘justice’, but I am really not in the position to fight against a company. Just want to rant everything here as a form of closure for me, before the year ends.

In total, I have lost around $1,500 (not a small sum to me), excluding wasted time, emotional/mental stress that I had to go through with regards to this incident. I am looking to try car sharing services again, but definitely from somewhere else, somewhere less shady.

Lesson learnt: for car rental (or car sharing) companies, sure, they are cheap and affordable, but if you get into an accident, they will do everything to rip you off. Technically, they aren’t doing anything wrong or against the law, and I understand this is how they ‘make money’. But it just makes me feel shortchanged and unjustified. I don’t feel good/satisfied with the random numbers they throw me and expect me to just abide and pay up. I know I am at their mercy, having read the contract and agreement before deciding to rent the vehicle, but come on, at least make me pay up the money feeling more convinced.

Despite this being a rant, I do have a legitimate question:

1. Is there any governing authority that regulates and oversees the rental car market? More specifically, the repairs and motor workshops, ensuring fair and reasonable repair charges. LTA? CASE? VICOM? OneMotoring? I will even go to the MP if it helps (next time if it happens again)