My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years before we broke up. The reason for the break up was mainly because he wanted to set up a business on his own and don’t have time even for himself.

Another reason is that I’m really immature and easily stressed out. He had always been there for me but I didn’t because I used to think that my “stress” was a lot for me.

Some context when we were still together:

We were a very loving couple and are always together because we just prioritize each other. He loved me a lot as well by pampering me and treating me like a princess. Due to this, I get angry and mad easily. This year, during Valentine’s day, we agreed to meet after his lesson for a while. On the day itself, he told me that Oh he couldn’t make it because he suddenly remembered that he has to attend some business group project and that we had to cancel the meeting.

I got really furious and I was so mad so he came to me eventually. I know… I know I’m being very unreasonable and now that I recall this incident, I just had that I couldn’t think for him. So there were many instances like that.

We started arguing a lot when internship started for the both of us and eventually we call it quits.

During this month that we’ve broken up, I have been reflecting on my wrongdoings.

A few days back we texted and he said I could text him like usual and he would reply whenever possible (as he is busy with his work). We chatted like usual and he opened up to me saying that he couldn’t function normally after the breakup and that when we were still together, I was the only able to calm him down and helped his insomnia. He told me he hasn’t been sleeping for days and is also having a high fever while he has to deal with his work.

I became very worried and suggested to be there for him (like chit chats and stuffs as he doesn’t want me to come over).

So I talked to him about my things so at least there is someone there for him and eventually he would open up about his stresses. I lied to him saying that I’ve moved on because it hurts to see him suffering (due to the break up) and honestly I want him to move on as well. I tried to keep the conversation casual and try to sound cheerful but most of his replies are just. “Okay” “Mmm” and I understand that he is going through a lot but it just got a little disappointing and draining for me as I don’t know if I’m bothering him or if I came off as ‘needy’. I started asking him about it and I said it’s fine that I can stop talking but he always replied with “I’ll reply when I see” so I just continued sharing about my day. I don’t expect him to reply immediately like he can take a day or so to reply but his reply are so dry and eventually I was so done and I told him I’m going overseas to study because I don’t want to stay at the same place as you. We argued, and that’s the end of it.

I’m still worried about him and I miss him but I really couldn’t take his half-hearted replies without feeling that I’m shamelessly texting him.

Any advice please?

“Just an international student feeling a little tired and hopeless.

Since the start of my uni life, I no longer take any money from my family. This means that I had to pay for my school fee, hall fee and daily expenses, all by myself. I had to work so many part-time jobs just to be able to afford to study here, 6K/year for school fee, 4K/year for hall fee, not to mention daily meal expenses, transportations, phone bills, and so many other things that I can’t even list all of them down.

On top of that, I still need to work so damn hard to maintain my academic results. Getting a good result is probably the smallest thing that I can do to at least make my family back in my home country proud.

Now that I am almost graduating, I immediately have to start repaying my enormous 40K tuition loan debt which is charged with close to 5% annualised interest rate. Additionally, I still need to find a place to rent outside which is going to cost so much more.

Tbh, sometimes I keep trying to tell myself that I should be proud of myself, to be able to even survive for the past 3 years. Sometimes I blame myself for not working just a little harder in JC, to be able to at least qualify for some kind of scholarship for international students.

Sometimes when I see my friends having all their living expenses and school fee paid by their parents, I wonder how that would feel, life must be easier to be able to just study and not care about any other responsibilities.

Ok I accidentally spent too much time writing this post, time to get back to my lectures and assignments. I still gotta work tomorrow.”

“In chinese, there is a saying “one rat faeces spoils the entire congee” and that fully explained my current situation.

After being umemployed for more than a year since graduated, I finally got employed as a manager role. As someone who has always been part timing as executive, this position is like a big jump to me. And this is where my nightmare started.

I am just not a good person to be in this role. I made mistakes everyday despite I work hard and OT till 11pm on a regular basis. I am so overwhelmed that I could read the same materials for 8 times and still feel not enough.

I trouble my colleagues and feel bad about it. My executives are bad mouthing me behind my back and i know it (because she accidentally sent backmouthing msg to me instead and not her frens). They are saying i am noob and shouldnt become their reporting officer.

I am too overwhelmed not just with the job but with the people too. I feel scared and don’t know who are the good and evil people in the workplace.

Ever since i joined for these 6 months, i have been biting myself, scratching my skins and even slap myself because i think this is my punishment for not being good enough for them.

I want to resign but my parents dont let me to as I am the only one supporting my family with my limited income and also I am still in debt of 28k due to tuition loan.

Why are local men so boring

I really must ask ah, how come so many local men don’t seem to know how to talk about anything other than work?

I have been on so many dates where I will literally ask the guy directly about his hobbies and interests, and he cannot even talk about them.

Talk about gaming, talk about Yu-Gi-Oh, even talk about some films you’ve seen lately. I am trying to provoke even infodumping. Still cannot.

Can only talk about work, which usually requires even more background knowledge for me to understand VS hobbies.

It is really baffling. You can’t talk even about something you’re interested in? How did you make it to your twenties like this?

At this point I have basically given up on local men. I suspect being an expat or immigrant tends to self-select for having confidence and a level of ballsiness.

Hopefully that will mean better conversationalists.

Netizens’ comments

Interesting men are all taken by now. And interesting men don’t need to use dating apps. If that’s where you’re basing your observations from.

Waiting for my wife while shopping

We have been together with each other for 5 years now , every time we go shopping i’ll just wait outside for her at the store while waiting for her

I have friends who will accompany their girlfriends & shop with them all these and I really salute them as being inside the shop is often very suffocating for me as it is usually super crowded & very squeezy , especially places like sephora & sometimes I just don’t understand how girls could shop at watsons / guardians for 30mins & more (No matter the size) that’s super impressive btw.

However , seeing her smiling whenever she exits watsons really warms my heart till this day , it’s just so adorable , she always look so proud whenever she walks out of watsons with her new eyeliner or mascara ?? or eyebrow pencil idk ?? She always says she running out of those at home , but I found like 5 6 eyebrow pencils at home which I’m sure that’s not what we consider as running out .

She used to mention about how she wished that I could be like some people in the store who will accompany their gf/wife to shop , which I did tried , I’ll try to accompany her for awhile but after 15mins or so my legs just gave out. Now she got so used to it to the extent that she’ll only ask me to accompany her to the store if she sees a bench/ sofa inside.

Although I may not be the type that accompanies her for a 30mins watsons trip , but i’ll try my best to be the one she sees first whenever she leaves watsons

P.S Ladies please keep your watsons journey sweet & short , there’s no need for so many eyebrow pencils