I am a foreigner living overseas. I just interviewed with one of IT companies in Singapore. Everything went well in technical interviews and final HR interview was scheduled to make an offer.

The HR asked me for expected salary and I got confused because I was unable understand her Singlish accent properly (I am sorry, I am not judging Singlish accent, I just don’t have much interaction with Singlish).

In my confusion, I said 8000 SGD and they accepted the offer happily. Now the contract is signed and I came to know from some connection that for fresh PhDs that the company offers 10,000 SGD for graduates with similar credentials.

Since the contract has been signed and they have initiated the EP visa process. What could be good options for me to consider now?

In Singapore, do we have options for negotiation during probation period? Is 8000 SGD fair salary for fresh PhD graduated of Electronics Engineering? Thank you!

Here are what netizens think:

• Got PhD, yet post this garbage. This is why qualifications like PhD are no match for common sense and experience.

• I don’t understand how u can confuse “expected salary” with anything else….So when u said $8000, u meant living expenses? So u expected $20,000 salary?It’s obvious u regret accepted the salary knowing that some others are offered 10,000… in short, u are jealous and greedy now…

• I was unable to comprehend your grammar. In my confusion, I just called your hirer to reduce your salary by 2000 SGD

• Don’t find excuses lah. Even if she has a Singlish accent, what about the contract? You signed it, isn’t it?Seemed to me that you were okay with $8k but you got to know that others can get $10k so you suddenly have a hearing and eyesight problem.
• It’s bizarre to renegotiate without proper reasons. However, there’s a catch if your EP gets rejected. You can convince the HR that the reason for rejection is likely that your salary doesn’t match people with the same kind of credentials and age (yes it’s actually a factor; go read). But if your EP does get approved, then ethically you don’t have much wiggle room with the same employer.

I don’t think it’s a Singlish issue. How do 8 and 10 sound difficult to understand?In short, OP did not do due his/her due diligence. Suck it up, reject it or negotiate. IMO, they must really like you or feel you are really that special to let you negotiate.

Foreign wife refuses to work and keeps requesting for more money

My wife is a foreigner. Before we ROM in 2021, she threatened to leave me if I refused to marry her. I told her I am not financially stable as I have to support a bedridden father (with no savings or insurancd of his own) and my retired elderly mother. I agreed to ROM because I did not want to lose her.

Ever since my wife moved here in early 2021, my dad’s condition became worse and require a live-in helper. My wife came at a time when the border had restricted opening. She got a fever in the quarantine and was admitted to NCID for 5 days. The bill came up to more than 5k.

My take home pay is less than 4k. I give about 1.5k to my parents. My HDB mortgage is more than 1.1k a month. I spend the rest on bills, insurance, living expenses for both of us. My monthly budget is really tight.

However, my wife does not seem motivated to work. She took up a job which she quit in less than a week, and another job in less than 2 months. She kept all the money she earned to herself and continued to rely on me for support.

She has stomach and indigestion issues, which she claims is so bad that she is unable to work. I brought her to do an endoscopy at the recommendation of the GP, and was unable to claim insurance as the insurance company says its a pre-existing issue. I incurred 6k for her medical expenses. The results show was nothing wrong with her stomach.

She went jobless for a few more months. When the border opened in June, I agreed to let her go back to her parents home first. She went back to her country and did a colonoscopy as it was expensive to do so. The results show that her colon is fine.

She claims that her indigestion issues were much improved after returning to her country. She was able to work on her parents farm without issues.

My wife has been pestering me to meet her parents since last year. I agreed to meet him next week. Now, her dad is demanding me to meet him and pay a dowry of 8k to 12k for the customary wedding. I asked my wife to negotiate the price down and she said she can’t because she needs to save her parents face. I agreed but asked her to find a job once she comes back with me to Singapore. I told her that she has to find a job to support her parents because I don’t have the means to do so. Her parents had asked me to pay for other things aside from the dowry.

That upset her and she said she wants a separation. She said she can work in her father’s farm and make money. I am really puzzled why she refuses to look for a job here.

I am really stressed up with money and yet she does not seem to care. My wife has a bad temper and picks a quarrel over the smallest issue. I have been giving in to her on everything and this is making me very unhappy.

Should I divorce her?

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The only reason I’m with my wife is because I started sleeping with her to make her friend jealous

For the longest time, I was madly in love with my wife’s best friend. I wanted to be with her so bad but I never had the guts to make it clear. I’m sure she knew I had feelings for her, but ignored it. I knew she liked the attention I gave her though.

I thought that maybe if she saw that I was interested in someone else, she’d want me to focus on her and give me a chance. So I chose her best friend. I asked her out and she accepted. We started sleeping together and since women talk I figured she’d say something to her friend. She did, but by the time she did, I didn’t care.

I had realized what I had was a fleeting crush. But what I felt for this new woman was love. I thought about her every day, I got nervous to see her, I was scared to call her, I could listen to her talk for hours. I was truly in love with her. I forgot about her friend and was focused on my newly budding relationship with this new woman. Years later I proposed. Now we’re married with a daughter in the way.

I know what I did was scum my but I was young and dumb. I’m just glad I told no one of this as I know this secret is the kinda thing that’ll ruin her confidence and self esteem.

It’s humiliating enough to get cheated on by my wife but in my own home with the clown we hired for our sons birthday.

Okay I realise the initial amusing nature of the idea and if had happened to anyone else but me i’d probably laugh. this is one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. I’d hate for any of my friends or family to know the true reason why my wife and I are splitting up.

My wife insisted on hiring a clown for my sons birthday despite my protests because A) Who hires clowns anymore B) I have a (not aggressive but present) fear of clowns. I gave in to my wife because I love her…The biggest regret of my life. She was angry at me all day, she disappeared during the party around the same time as the clown was on break. I’ll skip the details but I put the pieces together pretty quickly

hmm okay i’ll try to keep my cool cause the whole thing feels so ridiculous and like i said initially is humiliating. I had noticed they were chatting in the kitchen right after his break, he was making her laugh (which i guess he’s paid to do) it didn’t seem overly flirtatious so i went bout enjoying the party. Only to return to the kitchen and neither of them were there, i wandered around the party looking for my wife not too concerned with where the clown was at all. Anyway i eventually found her and she literally (this is where is gets ridiculous) had some clown makeup on her lip and cheek. I pointed it out to her, she wiped it off without an explanation.

once the party ended i noticed something peaking out of the top of her dress. Now with warranted suspicion i took it out and it was the clown business card tucked into her bra…

that’s when i confronted her and she confessed almost immediately

I’d like to say I don’t have answers to all of the questions about the interaction, I wanted as little details possible about the act itself from my wife.

I (19f) feel like my husband (19m) prioritizes his gaming friends over me. What do I do?

My husband and I have been together for a little over a year, and have been married for about 2 1/2 months. While we were dating, he would spend lots of time with me, and did everything he could to make me feel special. I’ve always known he has online friends he plays video games with, and understand that he occasionally needs his guy time to decompress. I have no problem with that.

The thing that bothers me, is that ever since we’ve been living together (since late September of 2021), his friends have seemed to take first place. He spends about 70-90% of his time outside of work either texting or playing a game with them. When he does play, he’ll play for 3-4 hours at least.

I’ve expressed my concerns about it several times, explaining that we don’t really spend time together anymore unless we’re sleeping, or trying for kids. I’ve explained that for months now, I’ve felt like I’m in second place for him.

He always says something along the lines of “that’s not true. You’re my wife and I love you,” then either guilts me by saying I “never let him play with them” or that he’s “not allowed to have friends ” because of me. Both things are not true. I’m just tired of not getting the quality time I used to get with him. What do I do to get my husband to want to date me again? What do I do to convince him to see that his spouse should come first?