Previously I took a five day solo trip across Europe to celebrate turning 30, and I had a great time. It was some of the most relaxed I have ever been. I love going on vacation with people I love, but it was so nice to be able to do exactly what I wanted when I wanted and not have to be considerate of what someone else wanted to do as well.

After my solo trip, about two weeks later, my husband and I took a trip just the two of us for about five days as well. It was great, we had a lovely time.

Lately, I have been super stressed at work and feeling burnt out. I feel like I need to take time off and just go somewhere and disconnect. I’m not someone who can be refreshed by taking a week off and sitting around at home. I’m very fortunate that I have the time off I do, and I have weeks of time off I can use. My husband is not so fortunate. He used to work at a job that he had a lot of time off, but a couple years ago he switched to a mostly commission job and won’t get time off until around September.

I let him know that I want to take a vacation by myself,  and then we can take another vacation to somewhere neither of us have been when he gets time off in September. He got upset and kept brushing off the topic. I should add, last year he actively encouraged me to go on my solo trip. He later told me that of course he was jealous, but he knew if he didn’t encourage me I probably wouldn’t have gone and he wanted me to go.

After talking about it again he started accusing me to find men overseas.

I would be paying for my vacation with my own savings that he does not contribute to. We do not have kids, just dogs. I frequently travel for work, so it’s not uncommon for me to be gone a couple days at a time and he takes responsibility of the dogs during those times. I would not pick a destination that was some where he has ever talked about wanting to go to.

Am I wrong for still wanting to go?

I haven’t lived with my father for over 30 years (my parents were divorced when I was 8). I have one sister who lives overseas from my father and I live about 60 mins away. My stepmother’s kids both live in the nearby as her and they assist her and my father with things as needed.

Anyway early this year my grandmother finally passed away at a quite advanced age. I helped handle the cremation arrangements (my stepmother and father didn’t want to have a funeral for her). After that, the will (a 50/50 split between me and my father) went into effect. My stepmother told me I wouldn’t get any money from the joint checking account (“because that’s not ‘the inheritance’, ‘the inheritance’ is other money that your grandmother had” as she put it), and that there was no money to get anyway (from this account) since they had to spend a lot on my grandmother’s end-of-life care (no receipts provided). Another note: I don’t care one bit about any inheritance money.

My stepmother wanted me to get named estate executor because she believes my grandmother has large amounts of hidden assets sitting in several banks. So I did that, going through a lawyer (at considerable personal expense) and probate and finally being named executor about 5 months (probate takes a long time) after my grandmother’s death (Note: I don’t believe these assets even exist).

I just got the executorship this month and haven’t looked for these supposed assets yet. I took a short vacation (my first in 2 years) this past week and was coming home when my stepmother called me and chewed me out again for not calling my father enough and ‘not caring about him,’ and told me she won’t be notifying me when he passes away, that “you can find out he’s dead when you read his obituary in the paper”.

She then reiterated how great her own kids are and how much they do for her and my father and that I do nothing for him/them. Then she hung up on me.

I really don’t know what to think anymore.

Well today my GF suggested going to the market in JB with her and her sister and friend and I said no cause I can’t join them for a full day, she kind of force me by saying I don’t spend time with her.

She said she’d drop me off at the hotel to take my car for me to return after the market so they could continue shopping so I could get some rest and then take my car into the shop to have the oil changed and tires rotated. After the market, she said that she didn’t want to give up her parking spot downtown just to drop me off and come back.

I told her I needed to get back to get stuff done around the house (and we live together and she doesn’t do much of anything around the house for chores) and I have to get my car to the shop at 1230 for my appointment.

She immediately hit me with the fine I guess I’ll give up my spot but I’ll get over it and has acted like I’m the irresponsible person ever since and this happened about half an hour ago.

So long story short am I wrong in this situation?

Shortly after graduating, I got a full-time salaried office job and things were looking great. Unfortunately, due to the rule above, Our family was forced to pay a lot more due to my additional income as the financial assistance is based on household income.

For the first 6 months, I lost well over half my salary just to cover home expenses. I covered close to 85% ($1300+) of the monthly fees while my 2 siblings and parent covered 15%. While doing so, I felt cheated, why was I paying for so much while I got back so little?

Why do I got to pay this much while they just lounge around? After the 9-month mark, I decided to look for an apartment and move out. I gave them 3 months of warnings before leaving.

After I moved out, my family were forced to pay for the last 3 months as if I was still living there.

I did not help them and told them I needed to worry about my own living situation before I can help anyone else. They called me an asshole for leaving so suddenly and forcing them to pay 3 months of rent as if I lived there. They also asked for money help but I couldn’t, I had student loans, furniture, food, etc. They called me an unfilial daughter for not helping the family out.

What should I do?