How do you guys cope with the fact that you aren’t attractive?

Never really bothered me or maybe I was just too young a few years back. I have heard stories of my friends receiving confessions and getting into relationships but it never bothered me and I genuinely am happy for them even though I had none.

Moving into my 20s soon, I guess that’s when I started thinking more about my future, and expectations to settle down eventually. (I know I’m still young, but time really flies)

I know looks isn’t everything, but it is still very important and many circumstances have proven that. Good looking people get better connections, better jobs, befriend people more easily hence higher chance to meet lifelong friends, people are nicer.

Can’t really remember if anyone called me ugly straight to my face nor hinted at it (though I think they are just being nice because none of my friends are that direct) but definitely was called very average by a friend lol.

Never once thought I was ugly too, only as I got older, I literally had a glow down and I don’t get how is it possible like isn’t it puberty suppose to make you better one.

I just find it hard to accept the fact that I don’t look as good as others, others are prettier, better, than I am. It has affected my self esteem so much that I hate looking into the mirror, I hate myself to the point I can’t even look at people and hold conversations anymore because all that is going through my head says ‘you’re ugly’.

And everytime I make eye contact with someone for longer than a second I strongly believe they are looking at my features and thinking how ugly I am. It has affected my chances to make friends, even more so relationships which I of course hope to have one and settle down one day.

Just late night thoughts, so what do you guys do to cope with the fact that you aren’t attractive, maybe even considered ugly by others? How do I lift my head up again to talk to others? I constantly feel like shrinking my presence till I’m non-existent because I’m afraid others would look in my direction and discover how ugly I actually am…

I’m leaving my husband because I found out that he has been making fun of me behind my back to his ex.

My husband (m45) and I (f36) met about 6 years ago. We have been married for 1 year. When we met I was very fit and athletic. I started gaining weight however after suffering 2 miscarriages and the loss of my mother to cancer. I was greatly affected and barely got out of bed if not to go to work.

I stopped exercising and instead started eating junk food. I gained 20kg in 2 years (2019-2020). Under this time my husband (then fiancé) was very supportive and loving. I felt guilty and tried to give him an out several times but instead he proposed and we got married last summer.

Since our marriage I have been feeling much better and it showed. I have lost around 20 pounds so far and I gained back my muscles and abs. He was so happy to see me feeling better.

On his computer however, it was totally a different story. He was talking, almost under our entire relationship to his ex wife about me.

His ex wife (f46), left him about 7-8 years ago for her colleague. The relationship didn’t work however and she tried to get back together with my husband. He has already met me but they stayed friends, mostly via chat, texting.

My husband was complaining about everything about me. My job, my mental health, my cooking but mostly about my weight. He was telling her how disgusting I was to him, how he even found it hard to share the same bed since I snored like a dog.

He sent her pictures of me while sleeping, sometimes in underwear with comments about my belly, double chin, “back boobs” etc. She found these pictures extremely amusing and she came up with the name “whale”. They both found it hilarious and now this is what they referred to me as.

They don’t flirt exactly or talk about being together or starting an affair but they do say that they miss each other and they reminisce about the time they were married.

She’s more flirtatious and he really enjoys it. Whatever he’s telling her isn’t what I have experienced with him. I don’t disgust him. He tells me that he loves me all the time. The way he touches and makes love to me is so great he must be a really good actor if he was in reality disgusted by me.

And he hates the few times we have to sleep apart. He’s lying and I don’t know why he’s doing it. He’s lying to one of us and I’m not sure if I want to know who he’s lying to and why. I decided to get out of this marriage and leave this behind me.

Right now I’m acting like everything is normal but I have started looking for a place to rent. I also started with birth control pills, in case something happens between us and I have talked to a lawyer to prepare the divorce and start the process once I’m gone.

What a waste of love he has been!

I hate having intercourse with my GF while she’s on her period but she wants to still do it

My (23M) GF (20F) are in a sort of long distance relationship where we are away from each other. I’m coming home for a couple of days, but she’s currently on her period.

I love being intimate with her but doing it on her period grosses me out. I know it’s natural and I shouldn’t judge it but at the same time I don’t wanna do it.

It hurts her feelings when I tell I don’t wanna. What can I do to help her relax and calm down when I tell her again?

I told her that I’m planning a huge date that’s gonna be filled with many dates all in one day because I want her to understand that I’m not grossed out by her in any means.

I want her to feel loved and attractive but at the same time I want her to just understand that I’m just not comfortable doing it while she’s on her period.

Netizens’ comments

• Consent goes both ways. She needs to respect your boundaries.

• Though it hurts her feelings, she should respect you dislike that. A relationship is respect for each other.

• Have a conversation with her about it. She can respect it or not. If she doesn’t, you may want to reconsider if she’s the right person for you.

I’m not in love with my wife anymore.

My wife and I have been together since we were 18 years old, we are 36 now. For the past 18 years, this woman has been everything to me.

She has supported me in ways that I never even knew were possible. She has given me 2 beautiful kids and I will always be grateful, but I’m just not in love with her anymore

People like to say “well you don’t just wake up one day and just decide you don’t love someone anymore.” But that’s how it happened for me, she didn’t do anything to cause this riff and it isn’t because we’ve had major problems in our marriage, or that I don’t find her attractive.

To this day, my wife is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, but beauty has nothing to.do with anything and I just can’t explain why I’m not in love with her anymore.

I feel awful, I feel like the world’s most terrible person because who does this? Who just wakes up after 18 years together and just decides they don’t want it anymore even though everything in your life/marriage has been for the better since knowing your spouse…me, apparently.

My wife will always be my best friend and she will always hold a special place in my heart, but it would be wrong for the both of us for me to try and live a life that isn’t true to me.

Now I have to look this amazing woman in the eyes and hurt her, and I never wanted to do something like this, but she deserves someone who will always and unconditionally be in love with her.

A netizen shared a story about how she invited her boyfriend home to hang out and when they reached her home, they would hear her parents “doing it” and moaning inside their bedroom.

Here is what she said

“I have been dating this guy for about more than a year and we got together during our first year in poly.

So one day I invited my bf over to my house to just hang out inside my room, and maybe cuddle a little bit on the bed.

My mother is a housewife and my dad is technician, but they were both home that day because it was my dad’s off day.

So no problem since we were going to be in my room anyways, and then we reached my home and I unlocked my front gate.

Usually when I unlock the front gate, my mother would open the front door for me, but she didn’t so I thought she was busy or something.

We then went into the living room and my bf followed me into the kitchen, but as we walked past my parents bedroom (my house layout is, the kitchen is at the back, past the bedrooms, like all HDB flats), we could hear loud moaning coming from my parents bedroom.

There was also very loud “piak piak” sounds, and we immediately knew that my parents were “doing it” inside.

I felt very uncomfortable and my boyfriend just looked at me and laughed.

After that we went back to my bedroom and watched some movies on my laptop while just hanging out, and after a while I heard my parents’ bedroom door unlock.

I went out of my bedroom with my boyfriend and my mother was shocked to see me and my boyfriend at home.

She had a weird look on her face (probably embarrassment) as she asked “finish school already ah?”

I think she probably suspects that we heard the sounds coming from their bedroom, but this kind of thing how to ask?

Anyway from then on, I always made it a point to inform my mother whenever I bring my bf or any friends over, this is damn embarrassing.”

Editor’s note: Wah your parents uncle and auntie already still can perform ah, they really love each other.