I cheated with my female colleague and I feel very bad about it. What made it worse was that my wife witnessed the cheating…

I’m happily married with a wonderful wife with two kids. I work in marketing in an FMCG company and I’m constantly surrounded by younger female colleagues. Ngl, many of them are very attractive but I’m a faithful man who thinks with his bigger head.

However my life recently turned upside down. There’s this female colleague who recently joined, let’s call her G. G is in her late twenties and has a face and figure many women would die for and many men would go for. I was so surprised to find out that she was single (she gave me that information without me asking). G would constantly ask me for advice dealing with work matters and invite me to go lunch together with her batch. Sometimes we go for lunches and it’s just the two of us. G would constantly ask me what I was doing over the weekend and tell me what her plans were. She was actively using dating apps but none of the guys were up to her standards. She would often flirt with me (I think?) Like when we are alone she would playfully brush my arms and sometimes bump into me (too often for it to be by accident). She’d also tell me about her experiences with her dates and how they’re not good, and I’m so much better. I always felt a weird sensation whenever I hear that from her. It’s a nice feeling to be validated, but I’m married and it feels wrong.

One fateful day, as my wife had to use the car that day, she came to my office to pick me up. As I was walking away from the office with my wife, G somehow appeared out of nowhere and said hi to us and was extremely friendly towards my wife. G and my wife started chatting as if they were besties and they somehow ended up organizing a games night at my place that weekend. G said she’d bring her date over.

Fast forward to that day, G came with her date. Not sure why but I felt a tinge of jealousy seeing him. We decided to play some card games and I ended up partnering with G. This is when things went down. G was secretly texting me the cards she had in her hand and signalled me to read my phone. I got the hint and was trying to discreetly look at my phone. However, my wife caught me doing that and snatched my phone away and she saw the message from G. She acted like it was ok but after G and date left, she was so furious that I cheated with G during the games and my wife refuses to talk to me now.

How can I appease my wife?

Here are what netizens think:

• sorry dude if your wife caught you cheating, you’ll probably lose custody of the kids and have to pay large alimony fees. just suck it up and offer 2/3 of your salary to her and hope she doesn’t divorce you. lol.

• 5mins of my life reading that. 5mins that I will never get back

• Clever twist leh, not bad not bad  write a few more stories to entertain us pls

Partner is angry bc of my night owl schedule/wants me to move out.

I’ve been with my man for 6 years. We’ve had ups and downs, but it’s the most loving partnership I’ve ever had.

I started a job in hospitality recently that requires me to work late (until about 1 am), and then I’m usually so wired after work that I need a little time to decompress. I’ve also befriended some amazing lady coworkers that I love to chat and laugh with until the early morning hours at one of their apartments. I don’t drink, so we literally just eat ice cream and look at stupid TikToks.

My boyfriend is very upset about my new hours and claims he can’t sleep when I’m out super late, even though when I come home he’s snoring peacefully. I feel like he’s just trying to control me, and I don’t like it. He feels like I’m disrespecting him because he can’t get good sleep while I’m out.

To be clear, I only stay out like this once every 2 weeks. This is an occasional situation. After coming home early this morning, he told me he wants me to move out. “This schedule isn’t working for me.”

He doesn’t even seem to want to talk about it. I am baffled, annoyed , and frankly angry because I feel like it’s just another tactic to control me. It seems ridiculous. He can’t afford our apartment without me, but he wants to make all the rules.

Can someone please help me understand where he’s coming from so I can try to approach him with compassion and conciliation? I’m too angry to see the bigger picture here.

our relationship has taken work but felt like a dream come true. This has turned Everything on it’s head. He was showing me something in his Photo App, and I noticed a thumbnail that was blury and looked like my body. I asked what it was. He said ‘oh yes, I took a video of us’ and I laughed it off in the moment.

Then my fear responses kicked in and I wanted to vomit. I had a panic attack.

Background: I am a previous victim of SA. He knows this. When confronted about the video, he first said “yes I took a video”. It then turned into “I took the video by accident, because my flashlight was on”. It then turned into “you should be flattered I want a video of my girlfriend, but I guess I’ll just watch other videos instead” and “don’t worry, I won’t ever want to do this again. I don’t even want to do it with you after this”.

I’m so much emotional pain, and suffering EXTREME emotional whiplash as only mere hours ago, our relationship was faultless.

He refused to reassure or comfort me, instead accusing me of painting him to be a predator.

Please help me.

Here are what netizens think:

• Wait until he’s relaxed and take his phone and make sure he doesn’t have more stuff hidden or backed up anywhere. Delete everything of you from his phone..then break up with this trash bag. It’s not hard to not record people without their permission.

• I’m so scared to ever invade his privacy like this. What if there are no more videos? How do I leave when just hours ago I was absolutely in love?

• You aren’t invading his privacy you are protecting yourself. Even if there are no more videos he has at least one that you need to get rid of (really make sure he doesn’t have anything backed up anywhere and make sure to delete the recently deleted folder as well). You were in love with someone that doesn’t exist. He certainly doesn’t love or respect you and it shows.

• He already invaded yours and then tried to gaslight you when you found out. Break up with this guy

• Pack a bag and go to your mom’s. Let her call the police and have him removed. He sounds dangerous.

here i am again, to seek advice. this time, it’s about my mother.

she has been diagnosed with bipolar type 1 (bpd1) and i am her sole caregiver. i’m 18 (f) and left alone with her without any relatives as they cut her off due to her illness. my dad has been out of the picture since i was young.

she has been in and out of imh since i was sec 3, approx every 2 years. she is unable to hold a stable job as she keeps getting admitted and upon discharge, she is less functional, thus affecting her ability to work. however, she is highly educated. it’s just that she’s on the extreme end of bpd, which means her relapses are a never-ending cycle, so her intelligence and qualifications doesn’t matter if she’s unable to cope with stress and keeps relapsing.

i’m in my final year of polytechnic, and i’m in one of the better courses (r4 ~7pt). i previously dropped out of a good jc as i thought getting a diploma and going straight to work would be a better idea, given the unpredictability of my mom’s illness. i’m determined to get a job first and then apply for uni or a part time degree once i’ve settled down.

as of now, my mom provides me allowance monthly, and that is all. my social worker and some imh personnel have told me that if it is not possible or ideal for me to be taking care of her, i have the option of keeping her inside for a few years until i settle down. it was also encouraged because i am “only 18” and i shouldn’t be responsible for my mother right now.

as her sole caregiver, ngl i’m really honestly very burnt out. i used to score straight As when my grandma was helping out too but now that she’s out of the picture, my grades have been impacted tremendously. i’ve also been working part-time but i think it’s just barely enough to cover the rest of my poly acad year.

my mom keeps gaslighting me and telling me she had it worse, even though people have been paying off her debts and cleaning up after her mess over and over again throughout her entire life. she also kept taking my savings away from me. she dumps all her emotional problems and vents onto me expecting me to be able to handle all of it on top of my own stress. i can’t, and she knows that, but she does it anyway because she has already pushed all her friends and loved ones away due to her crude and harsh words/actions. she also spam calls me and messages me every single day and it’s super distracting especially during class. this happens even if she’s not relapsing.

moreover, when she gets these relapses, she may harm people in public (she has tried to, multiple times before) thinking they are her “enemies” or “zombies” or whatever nonsense the voices in her head tell her. she will also perform stunts like strip in park beaches and i’m afraid one day she’ll get stomped or go viral, affecting her reputation forever. the police has always been involved and it’s very frustrating on my end.

i am aware that people with bpd do not have control over their actions, hallucinations and thoughts. i have been trying my best to understand her as a daughter. but for some reason, i am so freaking tired of being her daughter. my social worker called it “caregiver burnout”.

if i keep my mom inside for a couple of years, i’ll have to rely on myself financially etc, which i do not mind, although it will be very difficult. i will also forgo university for now. my mental health will definitely benefit from this option, but i’ll feel incredibly unfilial and bad. although my relatives cut her off, they are still in contact with me (they refuse provide me with any assistance, however) and will probably scold me for doing that.

if i discharge her after a month or so, the cycle will keep repeating but at least i’ll have some money to pull through university with the allowance she provides me (given she gets another job) and won’t have to worry as much about monthly expenses etc.

what should i do?

Netizens’ comments

I used to be a psychiatric nurse and I can see the drain in people’s families when they have someone with a severe mental illness. I’ve seen them progress for the better when their family member is committed and they have less of a worry and are able to recover.

I have an aunt with bpd with psychosis and fortunately (as much as that word works), she’s not violent. won’t take meds and unfortunately it’s only my mom (her caregiver) who ends up suffering from helping care for her as sometimes she skips baths, meals, etc.

If you’re able to get her committed, do it. It’s literally what’s best for you and your mom (and strangers she might hurt). It’s unlikely your mom will start being compliant with her medications and therapy to prevent herself from relapsing, or at least seeing the signs of a relapse happening and being able to get proper help.

Also, as you’ve said, you’re burnt out. Regardless of age (but worse since you are only 18), it’s hard to have such a physical, emotional, financial drain on you when you’re barely self-reliant. If it’s possible to commit her as a long-stayer, she should go.

after that, if you’re able to, get some help for yourself, whether it’s resources to help with finances or therapy for your own traumas, you need to start healing so you can recover from this.

I (24F) am honestly about to break up with my boyfriend for good.

My bf (28M) knows a girl (27F) and were best friends with her for years with her before we met. After we got into a relationship I felt awkward around her so I asked him to distance himself from her a little bit.

I originally thought he did but not only he lied to me about it, I also recently found out that he has cheated at least three times (doing it with the girl and asked for obscene photos via text), even a month before our third anniversary.

She confessed it to me and told me that she’s been in love with him all these years. When I confronted him, he denied it but I eventually got proof of the texts and he apologized saying that he said it was all a lie because he was afraid of losing me.

He really seems regretful and asked for another chance (he’s not talking to her anymore) but I don’t think we will work, he has lost my trust. I already told him this but he’s sure that if I give him a little bit more time everything will be okay. I’m really trying to have hope because I really love him, but my mood is constantly changing and I’m getting tired of being this sad all the time… do you think people change?

Honestly, I don’t believe that a male and female can be best friends there is always something going on.

Do I continue to try and trust him?

Here are what netizens think:

• You wrote that he already cheated three times!! What change do you think is going to happen?

• Good luck but if you let him get away with cheating on you 3 times he has no reason to stop, he has cheated the whole time you have been with you he does not respect you. So please respect yourself and hold your head up high and walk out that door and go NC, plus that will drive him crazy so it’s a way for you to hurt him back without cheating or telling lies.

• Gong dai gong cb, 3 times you still consider going back. Are you a genius.