I need help with motivation in NS. I have always been a very motivated person and I am usually efficient in getting things done.

However, for these few days leading up to enlistment, I have never felt so unmotivated and mentally drained in my life.

I have all my items ready but I have been procrastinating to pack them.

I am enlisting tomorrow so I hope that this lack of motivation doesn’t continue. I really don’t want to be a downer as I always try to make people around me happy when I can.

I don’t think I can hide the fact that I am super lethargic and moody any longer.

Netizens’ comments

• I’m pretty much in the same boat. I can get things done, but these few days cant be bothered to do anything(even gaming) and cant sleep too.
  Also enlisting tomorrow here to school V too.
  Here’s hoping for you to get through this easily

• Just stick to your Routine Order for the first few days. Use this time to mentally transition from cv to military.
  Dont forget to enjoy!

Haiz. Really feel so fed up with a marriage where my MIL does not respect boundaries.

My MIL, for one, is nice. But she does not respect boundaries. She will feed baby (LO) anything & say is cause don’t want LO to be picky about food. Things like McD, my baby has tried. But LO is only 8mths old! ???? Told her not to feed, but she still feeds

Milk, she insists on using formula because “convenient”, but LO is used to & prefers to look for me for feeds

She fed my LO water before 6mths old. Even though we told her not to.

She fed my 2yo nephew coffee saying that there’s no cream or sugar. Just pure coffee. I don’t understand. Do kids drink coffee nowadays?

I’m so stressed out. My husband kept siding with his mum. He says that since we have brought it to her attention, she won’t feed anymore. He says that she fed nephew coffee cause his parents fed him a little at times (a sip once in awhile).

Problem is, multiple times I have let her know of our discomfort & decision not to introduce certain food to LO. Some are unhealthy, some are choking hazards. But she repeatedly ignored what I have said & feed LO.

Not just that. Today she gave 2 of my clothes to my SIL ???? I am currently staying with her so I brought some clothes over to wear. I don’t have a lot of clothes at my in-laws place. But she gave my clothes to my SIL cause she says that I’m not wearing them ???? But those are my favourite clothes. I can’t bear to wear them. Now they are given to someone else to wear. I’m heartbroken ????

What do you guys do to a MIL who does not respect boundaries & a husband that does not understand his mum & no matter what, sides with her more? ????

I went to a prostitute for my birthday and it feels like I’m breaking down.

I didn’t want to stoop so low as to pay for something like that, but it’s been on my mind more and more lately.

I’m 35, am (was as of a few hours ago) a virgin, and instead of going down my libido seems to flare up as time goes by.

I have many hobbies but I can’t shrug off the absence of intimacy and the loneliness as easily as I did in my twenties. I used to cook a lot, if that makes sense, trying out a new recipe and attempting to get it right was a good way to get my mind on other things. It’s not as fail-proof as it once was.

I gave up.

I know my body isn’t to blame for it, I’m average. I do have terrible social skills, though, prefer a quiet evening at home and dislike going out a lot. But I spent my life improving these skills, still am, and I did get better.

Broke out of my comfort zone, met many new people, made new friends. But it never seems to be enough, somehow I feel like I’m lagging even more behind. If no one has been interested in me until now, it’s unlikely to happen later.

I don’t like the idea of seeing a prostitute, I don’t want to be alone, I’m a social person and I don’t see the point of leading a life alone from start to finish, but what else do I have? A decade of rejection, I should have cut my losses sooner and focus on other goals in actual reach.

I wanted, just once in my life, know what it is to feel intimacy. And I had to pay for it. It feels like a failure. I hate it. And I loved having someone hold me close as if she wanted me, even if it’s fake.

And it was amazing! Holding someone close and just exploring and learning about another’s body and yours, I should have done it sooner.

Here I am, I worked on myself and put money to the side, at least I will have some intimacy every once in a while.

I broke the no alcohol rule and got sloshed just to feel something else. Here’s to the bottle I uncorked.

My girlfriend (28F) broke with me (27M) after 5 years but still want to live and sleep with me

We had a conversation yesterday and she told me about her feeling, she doesn’t love me anymore, no particular reason, it’s gone, it can’t come back, nothing to do, it’s the end.

I was prepared since 2 weeks because she was very distant, so I handle it very well to be honest, far better I expected. I was very sad, but relieved that this nightmare was over, to no longer live with doubt and questioning, that she had found the strength to tell me things and imagine that it soothed her heart too.

But well, things cannot be so simple! She tell me she still want to live with me, she want to be my friend. I said to myself, she’s trying to reassure me that I’m not going to find myself alone overnight.

I didn’t want us to continue living together by default or out of pity or to avoid loneliness.

So I ask her directly, “do you prefer to live alone or with me ?” she said with me, I asked another question “Do you want to live with Luna (her best friend) or with me ?” she said with me.

I found that weird, but it was only the beginning. I wanted to sleep in the living room, and she doesn’t accept it, she come multiple time to speak with me during the night, and finish by sleep with me because she doesn’t want to sleep without me.

And this morning she can’t stop to be tactile with me, and started to cry, and told me she doesn’t understand what is happening in her head because she doesn’t feel the same thing as yesterday.

She asked me “You’re not going to leave are you?”, I said no but… well, maybe yes, I should.

It look like she is regretting very fast…

But I don’t want to have hope for nothing, I don’t know how to behave. It look like she realise what she did and what she lost.

But what is the value of this electric shock? Is it temporary? She says her brain sends her lots of images of what she likes about me and really doesn’t understand what’s going on.

I told her I was really surprised by her reaction, I thought she would be relieved and start to get back to normal.

But I have in front of me someone who wants to continue to live, sleep and have affection with me. That for me it is the very definition of love. That if it’s a lack of intimate desire or something else it can be worked on. I added that it was my definition and that perhaps we did not have the same one.

She said “yet I agree with what you say”.

She continue to cry and show regrets, I told her that I understood, that I’ve known this feeling before, of realizing the importance of things when I lose them, that it didn’t matter, that she had to take the time to reflect and put her mind and ideas in order.

I don’t know what else to do, I just want her to be okay and know what she wants, I love her so much

My husband and I are newlyweds. Both 25. We married only in January. In march my husband said he wants to take a break from living together because he is depressed and wants some alone time.

He said that we will both not date other people and that it would be absolutely disrespectful and wrong if we see other people because he just needs time to feel better. I told him i agree and that if anything changes and he decides to date others, immediately let me know so we can divorce because I’m not ok with extramarital stuff. He said yes he would let me know but he’s not interested.

Well, I just found out that he started the break on march 28 and registered for a dating site the same day. On April 1 already a girl messaged him and they’ve been talking every day and are in a relationship. I even asked him 2 weeks ago that if you have a gf i won’t be mad but tell me the truth so we can divorce.

Because he stopped texting or answering the phone but he lied. I only found out yesterday because he said we need to divorce immediately because he’s marrying someone else.

But I think she’s not who she says she is. He says that she told him she’s 18, working overseas and will come to be with him and they will marry and be together forever because she is perfect and he would never hurt her. Why would someone overseas look for someone in SG without even being here physically? The biggest thing is he has never heard her voice, and she won’t send a picture or talk on video call with him. I am pretty sure it’s a 47-year-old PRC scammer living in a basement.

What hurts is he asked for a break on march 28th and replace me immediately like it was nothing. He calls her the exact same nickname he called me, from all the nicknames he could have chosen. And he writes her the exact same words that he wrote me when I met him on online dating. He showed the messages he sent her.

He lied since april and only now told me. It’s like I’m completely replaceable.