I broke my mum’s new(ish) TV out of anger and I regret it

So a bit of backstory:

My mum sometimes gets very mad at me out of the blue for seemingly no reason (eg, saying I’m an embarrassment to the family, that I fake being nice to people, I don’t deserve friends and I deserve every ounce of hate I receive, to name a few), and these tend to happen when she just isn’t in a good mood (I do nothing to provoke her).

Compared to everyone else my age, I’m extremely well behaved, polite, get good grades (Tippically B-A+), don’t drink, smoke or any of that and I always make sure to put others above myself (mostly because of my self esteem), so I’m not sure why she does it.

The main point (FYI, it all happened today):

Well today she was doing it again, and as a reaction (when she left the room) I hit her TV (about 7-8 months old) with the corner of my phone. I didn’t see any damage (as it was turned off) so I assumed It didn’t do any harm.

Later, she went to turn it on and half of the screen was black and covered with cracks and coloured lines. She seemed devastated and quite bummed out about it (obviously) but didn’t go to blame me. Obviously I knew it was me that did it, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her.

And to put salt in the wound, shortly after arguing with me for a while, she apologised to me and admitted she was in the wrong (for the first time ever).

Was I in the wrong, or did she have it coming? Any tips on what I could do to apologise would also be appreciated.

Boyfriend (24M) and I (24F) share a computer.

Yesterday, he got an email notification for a Instagram update from an account I am unaware of with a very lewd username. This alarmed me. I know a lot of his passwords (as he knows mine) and I tried logging into it. What I saw was horrifying.

Dozens of lewd videos and pictures of himself (naked, doing things to himself, sending people messages like come ride it). Tons of people sending the same back to him. I dug further and found he had all sorts of websites (OF, AFF, etc) where he posts pictures and videos of himself.

We live together and spend so much time together that I cannot imagine he would be out cheating on me. When I confronted him he said his info was hacked in a data leak years back and that people have been stealing things from his accounts and making fake accounts with that material.

I find that incredibly hard to believe. I thought we had a really good relationship and this puts so much into question; could this actually be a data hack? I have no real grasp on whether or not someone can steal that much stuff. When asked, he said he likes to take videos of himself but never shares it; he claims someone went into his Instagram and stole the info and made another account with it.

Additionally, I asked him to look me in the eyes and promise he was not lying and he did, however, I do not believe him. IDK what to do. I am scared. I am embarrassed. I am heartbroken. I am lost.

Here are what netizens think:

• This sounds so unlikely as to be laughable.
• No, your instincts are right and this is not a hack. It sounds like he’s to the point of leading a double life. I would move on.
• He is 10000% full of S
• How long have you been with him? How old is he claiming these videos are?

How do you deal with your friends not reciprocating the attention you give them? (Fair warning that this may sound childish to some, not to me. Also, long rant ahead).

I’ve had this friend for the last 7 years. We’re both each other’s closest friends. Ofc when we were studying, we were freer, we could meet up more, talk more, text more. Now that we’re working, both of us acknowledged that we might have to compromise a little to keep the friendship going. But over the last 6 months, I feel like I’ve been bending over backwards trying to keep this friendship going with close to 0 effort from her and it’s driving me up the wall.

For context, her parents have very strict rules for her and she has to follow them. So I’ve always been accommodating to whatever she wants to do and whenever she wants to meet. I’ve never questioned “Eh you so old already why these rules?”.

In the 7 years we’ve been friends, the only time we ever “”fought”” was 3 years ago when she kept cancelling on me to meet up even though she was the one who set the date and time every time she cancelled and rescheduled. I BLEW up at her (over text) and basically told her I can’t keep doing this. To which she did not reply and I apologized.

The next time we met, I broke the ice by being goofy and apologized and she said “Let’s just not talk about it”. This was the beginning of the next few years of me suppressing my unhappiness to avoid confrontation and awkwardness.

The last 6 months, however, it’s been really hard for me to suppress it. I’ve been there for her through all her life’s milestones, sadness and happiness. EVERY ONE. I cheered her on, I patted her on the back and I was the shoulder she could cry on.

Her reaction to my milestones? “Oooooo nice” I accept that I’m the more exaggerated reactor, but man… nice? I can teach a parrot to say that. I don’t need a friend to do that. In the last 4 months, if it has not been to rant about her own life, she has not initiated a single conversation/call. I didn’t notice it until this week when she never texted me back a proper response even when I initiated. The selective replying is also killing me.

Eg:

Me: Oh something really good happened at work today! I did…..

no reply

Me: How have you been? I hope all good?

Her: Yeah yeah all good.

It’s funny because she says it’s her busy period. But we work in the same profession so…. Her busy period is mine too. But I still make it a point to check up on her. 2 days ago, I texted her to get no reply back. Last night I sent her a meme (that I made cmon. It was funny af too cmon), to get no reply back. And she just texted me saying “Sorry, been busy” with no response to what I sent her. I wrote a whole ass “You know what I think is funny?” basic rant message which I erased because it’s her birthday in 5 days’ time and I don’t want it to be awkward then.

Am I being unreasonable to want a friend to be excited about me the same way I am about them? What do you do when the attention you give them is not reciprocated?

I’m a female and is just like you. My ex dumped me 12 years back and claimed that he’s just toying with me and all that we have went thru in the whole year was merely a bet he made with his peers.

His family were nice to me during our courtship and I missed him terribly for years even after being dumped by him, as he was the only one I thought I could connect with intellectually and we could have a great future together. I controlled myself well and did not try to get connected with him after stabilising my emotions thereafter.

Couple of years later, I got married to my husband who loves me more than himself and I will not hurt him in any way. At times, I still look at my ex’s photo to relieve the memories, but I do not dare to connect with him as I do not wish to have any unwanted misunderstandings.

I still have many questions for him but because of my status now, I’ve decided to bury all in my heart. In your case, if circumstances permit, u may wish to reach out to him/her to get a closure if there was unfinished business. Wishing you all the best.

Here are what netizens think:

• Eh ppl shouldn’t mourn and grieve their ex longer than the time of their relationship. Eg. If you have only been with him a year, you shouldn’t still be missing him after 12 years. That’s… really waste of time and energy. don’t romanticise the memories and make it greater than it ever was. It’s just a guy who don’t like you and moved on. You should be doing the same.

• If someone already told you the reason believe it. Do not create questions in your head..You cannot live in the past..Men are simple minded so if he said it was a bet then believe it. It is what it is..There was closure. You just did not accept it as closure because the reason is painful.

There is no question. To him you are just convinient s3x. There is no human able to dump 12 years relationship like that. We are not even do it for a dog lmao.You are just his s3x object so be grateful with your current husband

I declined a phone call from my mom the night she died

It’s been about a week since she passed away suddenly in her sleep, on the early morning of Friday the 6th.

Today I was thinking about the last time we spoke. I checked my call log with her and saw I declined her call Thursday evening.

My heart dropped.

I wonder what she called for. Maybe she wasn’t feeling well and knew. My mind keeps going over what she wanted to say. Likely just checking in with me.

I’ll never forgive myself for not answering. I dont even remember getting a call from her. I feel so bad.

Netizens’ comments

• My Mom called me and left a message on my phone to tell me she was going down to theatre for her op and would see me later, she died on the operating table. The message was automatically deleted after 7 days, I still hear it in my head, 3 years later. I did see her however, the night before she died and had done every day. I miss her so much and my Dad who died 15 months before her.
  I’m so sorry for your loss but perhaps she was ringing to say she loved you, just keep that memory. Sending love and hugs. Xx

• Maybe you missed her call. Don’t beat yourself up over it – there was no argument or harsh last words. She called because she loves you. You are mourning her because you love her. It sounds like you had a nice relationship; I’m sorry for your loss.