In a relationship, I need S to feel loved and wanted by my partner. I don’t know why, it’s just how it is. Outside of a relationship, it doesn’t matter. I might want a hook up once in a while, but I don’t need it as I do in a relationship.

Our S life has been lacking from the start. He doesn’t see S as important, because we have all the non-S affection. Cuddling and kissing aren’t enough for me. Telling me he loves me isn’t enough for me. But he doesn’t get it, and I’m tired of trying to explain my needs as if me not having a good enough reason to want S means the need isn’t real.

So why is S important to you?

Here are what netizens think;

• Him not seeing S as necessary is just as valid as you see it as important. You can’t force him into having more sex with you for validation, which is essentially what you want. No amount of “explaining your needs” is going to change that he doesn’t want to do it as much as you. You’re probably incompatible. And that’s that.

• Incompatibility ends a lot of relationships. You will both be happier with someone with similar drives. That’s my advice.

• Break up and move on. You’re incompatible.

Praise turns me on more than anything else in the world

F20. Hearing a guy/girl tell me they’re proud of me, congratulate me, praise me in any way is literally like heaven to me.

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and it’s such an incredible turn on. The other day I went to all my classes (rare) and had a male friend say “good job baby” jokingly and just about lost it.

I love being told that I’m a good girl. There is nothing even comparable to the feeling I get when someone praises me. It’s like instant wetness.

Netizens’ comments

• just like a Golden retriever
• What an excellent post, terrific work, well done!
• I am glad to hear you found what makes you happy and you decided to embrace it rather than wallow in doubts as a lot of people do when they find out they are a kink. You are being emotionally mature and pretty clever to post this here.
• I dunno about a turn on but when ever someone tells me I did a good job or nice work, it’s a unique kind of high.

My (27F) boyfriend (27M) has a girl friend in his circle. I have always tried to maintain my cool and try my best to not be jealous. But there have been instances where he did stuff for her that really got on my nerves and has caused big fights, and recently, even just the mention of the girl irritates me.

I told myself I would have a 3-strike rule with regards to the girl.

Strike 1: he didn’t tell me he would be drinking one night, suddenly found out he was sleeping over at the girl’s. I didn’t have a moment as his safety that night was more important, but it made me feel a certain way and it had upset me and it became a fight.

Strike 2: when the girl tested positive for COVID, he went out of his way to buy her stuff and actually brings things to leave at her door.

He has always had an excuse and justifications with his actions, and I’m honestly just tired of the fighting, so I just forgive and move on. But I never really got any apology, instead I was made to think that I’m the only one who has problems with it.

Yesterday, it was our anniversary, but there was nothing from him. He seemed like he forgot it, and although I felt a little stung by it, I just focused on the fact that we’re pretty busy with our own lives and I was at work the whole day.

We have a shared email for the not so important stuff, he registered that account for online shopping and I found that he bought something, and I asked him about it. I even told him that he should’ve maximized the shipping cost and all that, until he let is slip that it’s actually a gift for the girl because her birthday is coming up. I was obviously upset, I turned quiet, but didn’t say much, because I’m really tired of the arguments. I was going to let it go, thinking it was sweet of him to get her something, but it eventually got to me when he kept looking at his phone, periodically even forgetting we’re talking, randomly laughing about something on his phone and all that. I left him and said I’m gonna go to sleep but I really just wanted some time alone to myself to not fixate on his actions, but then he scoffed at me when he found me on my phone. He sarcastically even said, “you said you’re going to sleep, but you’re on your phone.”

He even proceeded to suddenly ask “Why do you like problems?” which caught me off guard because I’ve been dealing with my own stuff alone, while we dealt with his stuff together. He then proceeded to ask why I like starting fights and why I take everything he does as bad or wrong. I told him if he’s tired of me being on his suspicious a**, he can leave. He then spun it around as me having someone in the wings waiting. I burst and said it was insensitive and hurtful that he did this on our anniversary. He said I should grow up, laughed, and told me it’s just a birthday gift.

Now I’m left thinking maybe I really am the problem. Even though I just keep quiet all the time when I’m upset. He always aggravates the situation and lets it get bigger than what they are until it’s some big fight, and I just like to stay away from that kind of situation so I always keep to myself, but he says he has a problem with that, too. So I don’t really know how to proceed with this kind of situation or if I should even proceed with the relationship. Please help.

I’m Asian, been overseas for 4 years and recently got married with a white male. I believe our relationship was genuine, we connected well, he was my best friend , my other half.

As you can see English isn’t my first language as I grew up in a bilingual family like many Singaporeans. but I believe i’m not too bad at it. I don’t find myself struggling with expressing myself, my feelings so there’s no such thing as language barrier in our relationship.

Recently we just got in a fight, I got very emotional and angry so i couldn’t put it in words and he pulled ‘ speak English properly’ knowing he’s in the wrong. I think that was the most hurtful thing someone could ever say, especially to the mother of his child, a person who already did him a favour by speaking his language coming from another country.

He really crossed the line and made me question why he’s with me in the first place if thats all he cares about.

Here are what netizens think:

• First off, your writing is perfect and I’d honestly have no idea it wasn’t your first language. Secondly, he absolutely crossed a line. It was a cheap shot meant only to make you feel bad because he knew he was in the wrong. There’s a little rule that the moment a person criticizes you instead of the point, healthy communication ends. I don’t think it was for anything else but to hurt your feelings. If that’s the case, youre in a tough position.

• You should be able to disagree on something without the fear of what they’ll say to you. He’s broken the emotional trust that is crucial to a fulfilling relationship. He’s got some growing up he needs to do.

I’m 3 months into my rs with my girlfriend and I realized there are some differences in the way we communicate and do things. I am seriously thinking should I cut loss and end things since we are still early in the rs?

My girlfriend is very well read and knowledgeable. For communication, she is the kind who likes in-depth talks and can discuss in detail for a wide variety of topics, even ‘serious’ ones like science, philosophy, current affairs, politics etc. When we text, her messages are usually long and detailed. However, I am the polar opposite. As a guy, I talk in a straight and direct manner. Whether in text or verbally, i reply in short phrases and direct to the point. I don’t like reading since young and unsurprisingly much less well read and thus have little to contribute to the convo if my gf talks about some topics in detail. Sometimes, I pretend to be smiling and interested in the convo but in reality, it just bore me to tears and can’t wait for the convo to end. There are a few times when my girlfriend said half jokingly that she hoped that I can be better with words and be more interesting and I don’t know for sure if she meant it.

She is a homebody and enjoys reading and baking. I am more of an outdoorsy person who likes sports and exploring new places. Up till now, we have no shared activities/ hobbies and we each pursued our hobbies on our own. Our dates are just mostly meeting up, movies, eating tgt and some chit chatting.

I know these are not v serious issues but they do add up. It is very difficult to change who I am and so does she. Tbh, the rs is getting a little boring and I dont know if it is worth to solve the issues or just break and find someone else since the rs is still young.