A netizen shared how he is in his mid 40s, single and not ready to mingle, who worked really hard during his younger days and was very prudent with his spending.

He had a friend that he knew since he was a kid, who spent money freely and splurges on his then-girlfriend, reasoning that “money can always be earned back”.

That friend is now jobless and struggling financially, and he is now seeking help from the netizen to tide over.

Here is the story:

“TLDR why am I expected to pay for someone else’s own life decision?

For context, I am in my mid-40s, single with no plans on entering any relationship. I chiong a lot during my younger days, with very prudent spending and have reached the stage whereby I have my own house, can survive on the passive income from my early investments and am basically retired now.

There is this guy, whom I knew when I was still a kid. Our parents knew each other and meet up sometimes. Apart from the meetups that occur because of our parents, I don’t interact much with him so I wouldn’t consider us to be close friends.

During one of the meetups when I was around my mid-20s, there was casual chat and my parents brought up how much I don’t like to spend money as if I was torturing myself. I just brushed it off but later, this guy came up to ask me the same thing when we split off with our parents (as they wanted to look at some stuff in the mall that we children aren’t interested in).

“Money can always be earned back”

I explained to him how I just wanted to spend less now so I can work less in the future, and also told him that maybe he should control his spending, especially seeing how much he splurge on his then-girlfriend.

He just gave me the response “money can always be earned back”. I just moved on since that was his choice and who am I to interfere with it.

Now no money, no job

Over the years, he’s been doing the same, splurging on his family without a care in the world, until the pandemic happened. He lost his job and is now struggling financially. He asked me for help, saying that I have extra money that I do not need and that I can always work again after the pandemic to top up my own fund.

I rejected, saying that he has to be accountable for his own life decisions. Somehow my parents caught wind of this and chastised me for not helping since even without working, I can still afford to spend on leisure.

Is it reasonable to expect me to dig into my own funds and interrupt the lifestyle which I have planned to enjoy over many years to help someone who has never invested or contributed to the success of my current lifestyle?”

A girl shared her displeasure at going out on a date with a guy who was trying to save money and having to pay for herself for the date.

Here is the story:

“Thought I would jump on the bandwagon of recent posts talking about dates/dating.

A few months ago I met up with a guy from a dating app to watch SS2 then have dinner. “Shall we get popcorn?” I said, to which he replied, “Oh I got it already while waiting for you just now,” patting his bag, so we just went Dutch on the tickets.

When we found our seats, he unzipped his bag and exclaimed “Tada!”, pulling out a pack of popcorn with NTUC PACKAGING. Oooookay that’s new, I thought to myself, while he grinned, “Smart right? So much cheaper and so much more popcorn. Value for money.”

But that was not all. The next horror he pulled out of his bag was a HERBAL DRINK. “Popcorn very heaty, must drink this,” he said, not forgetting to add, “$1.50 only sia, value for money.”

At this point I just wanted to watch the movie then go home, but Mr. Value-for-Money had other ideas. About 15 min in, he whispered, “Er can you eat at the same speed as me? I notice you have eaten much more than me.” I did not take another popcorn after that.

After the movie, I faked a reason to skip dinner, but he said, “How about ice-cream? Then we can chat for a while.”

I reluctantly agreed in order to be polite, then fml-i-should-have-seen-this-coming he led me to MCDONALD’S. Forcing myself to say thank you as he happily handed me the “value-for-money” 70-cents ice-cream, he said, “Welcome! You can paylah me later together with the popcorn and drink. I’ll calculate and text you the amount.”

This date was not value for money.”

Editor’s note: I guess the guy dodged a bullet, YOU are not value for money.

A netizen was offered a job by a company and he/she rejected it, and nothing was signed – the company then demanded compensation.

Here is the story:

“Posting this as a warning to job seekers.

I was finding a job 6 months ago through a recruiter, let’s call them ‘C’. They offered me a job and I accepted the offer. But I had a change of mind and eventually told C that I’m not interested, and did not turn up at the client’s place to sign the letter of appointment (LOA). Before that, I did ask C for the LOA, but C had insisted not to give, saying it’s for audit compliance and does not carry any of the employment obligations between me and the recruiter.

After I rejected the offer, C reiterated our email exchange and mentioned that there is a contractual obligation between us. In our contract, it was mentioned that I would only consider accepting any client’s job offer if C could garner a minimum monthly basic salary of S$XXXX, which C had successfully done so based on my request. C had negotiated with this client without my knowledge or request, saying that there was 1 competing candidate and C had negotiated for the client to accept me.

C is threatening legal proceedings against me for breach of contract if I do not pay them a compensation of 1 month in salary as per the contractual obligations, which had also stated that if I reneged an offer after acceptance, they could seek compensation from me.

What should I do?”

Editor’s note: Make a complaint to MOM, nothing was signed and the company can’t do anything to you.

A netizen wrote a lengthy “break up” letter to his/her friend after they stopped replying his/her messages.

Here is the story:

“How do you know a friendship has died? It’s been 4 years, so much has changed.

Hey you

I think everybody deserves a proper ending, although to you it might just feel like any other time. To me, this is how I will end it.

Funny how when you’re deep in something you never realise the issues, and people around you are always the ones pointing out the red flags.

Friends come and go. It’s time we go.

There are two kinds of friends. The chat-regularly kind, and the meet-twice-a-year-during-birthdays-to-catch-up kind. We used to be the former, but things change, and recently the wool over my eyes have been removed by my friends. It’s difficult to play tennis by myself, the ball is always in your court.

When I reduce my reply enthusiasm. Or slow down my replies. Or stop being the one jioing you. Or sending articles of things we should try. Then we wouldn’t talk for long periods.

You might reply enthusiastically, but once every 2 weeks. Yet when we do meet up to catch up, you’re always on your phone when we are walking around. You will reply, just not to me. An observer would have realised I’m being played, but not me when I’m in it.

We used to be able to talk about random day to day happenings. Then I filtered what I said, because since you won’t reply, time-sensitive comments and jios don’t matter. Now, we don’t even talk about big life events that happen to us. Simply because if I do tell you, you wouldn’t read it anyway.

Let’s catch up less regularly, on your terms. If you don’t initiate, I guess we then both agree that I’m always the one initiating and putting in all the effort in this friendship, and let’s call it a day.

Thanks J”

A netizen shared how he has a stable girlfriend and that they are planning for their future together, such as applying for a BTO flat and wedding.

But then he revealed that he cheated on her with another guy that he met from a camp, he slept with him and is still keeping in touch with him.

Here is the story

“I knew this guy from a camp last year, but only started chatting more recently. He is stocky and has a charismatic smile.

Last week, we chatted in my room till midnight. Suddenly, we looked into each other’s eyes and kissed. The passionate kisses led us to s-x, eventually. I can’t stop thinking of him ever since that day.

We are still in touch daily and our conversation has escalated to another level.

However, I am attached with a stable girlfriend who has started working. We are planning for our future together, such as applying for BTO and wedding.

As much as I want to marry my girlfriend and have a family together, I don’t want to lose my friendship with the guy.

It is selfish but I hope my girlfriend can accept him unknowingly as one of my closest friends from uni.”

A netizen shared how her boyfriend doesn’t anyhow spend and chooses to save money instead of buying expensive gifts for her.

Here is the story:

“My boyfriend is a pretty frugal guy who doesn’t splurge on restaurants, cafes and expensive food. He does however once in a while spend on things that he likes.

Every time he dines alone, he goes to those marketplaces, hawker or food courts in malls, but he’s willing to spend more on restaurants whenever we hang out, though sometimes I still enjoy eating at non-restaurant places with him.

One thing about him that bothers me is that he doesn’t spend much on me like my friend’s boyfriend does.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining or comparing, we still take turns to pay for meals, he isn’t being calculative with me, he buys me my favorite food and dessert too,

but what I’m saying is the lack of premium/expensive items like handbags, electronic gadgets, and jewelry.

I honestly don’t demand this stuff, but as a girl, who doesn’t want their boyfriend to pamper them once in a while, and I’m very much contented with him even if he does it just once or twice a year.

Moreover, he puts like 70% of his salary every month into trading. He did tell me before that now is not the right time for him to spend unnecessarily, as he wants to invest as much as he could so that we will have a much better life in the future.

I told him that he can’t possibly always be earning without spending, but my quote just simply doesn’t register in his head.

I know he’s been making money through stock trading, but honestly, I don’t feel happy at all if he doesn’t know how to pamper him or ourselves by spending it.

What shall I do? I don’t think a breakup is necessary, but I’d like to hear some useful opinions. Thanks.”

Editor’s note: You got no job and no money of your own? Are you a leech? What’s wrong with saving money?

A netizen shared how he is a 22-year-old V and has never kissed a girl before, he added that he has only ever been on 1 date in his life and feels sad and jealous.

Here is the story:

“I am a 22-year-old guy. I have never had intercourse. Actually, I have never even kissed a girl before. I have only ever been on 1 date in my life.

And honestly, I feel really sad because of this. Whenever I think about this, I am always reminded that I am the guy that has never been worth kissing or dating.

This is not even because I am conservative. I am actually very liberal. I am up for anything. It isn’t even due to a lack of trying. I am on 4 dating apps and honestly, it’s exhausting.

I barely get any matches and most people I talk to don’t even proceed beyond a few messages. I usually just get ghosted. IDK what I am doing wrong.

My only romantic experience was a girlfriend I had for 6 months 5 years ago. She told me she was conservative and therefore wasn’t comfortable sleeping with me. But she cheated on me by sleeping with one of my friends while we were together. So clearly she was uncomfortable about me and not the activity itself.

Wants to feel loved

I have a lot of close female friends with whom I have very platonic relationships. But I really crave something more. I really crave intimacy. It’s not just intercourse but just to feel loved, feel cared for, to feel like someone in this world actually gives a shit about what happens to me.

I want some level of exclusivity in my relationships. I also want to have intercourse with someone I love and someone who loves me and to feel that connection.

I want something more than just friendship. When I see other people in happy relationships, it makes me sad, jealous, and envious.

I am very sad because of this and IDK what to do. I have been told to just focus on improving myself and that I will find a girlfriend when it is time but that is clearly bullshit advice because nothing good seems to be happening.

Am I really that unappealing? I feel so lost.”

Editor’s note: You are only 22, your time will come.

My girlfriend doesn’t want my family at the wedding what do I do

Hello: backstory. My GF mom died 4 years ago, unfortunately I never got the chance to meet her. I am a huge family man.

My nuclear family and I are extremely close, I love them with all of my heart and sharing wedding day with them is extremely important to me.

Recently we’ve decided to get married and when talking about the wedding my GF doesn’t want my family anywhere near it and just wants to elope because she feels having my mom there will only remind her of what she doesn’t have.

I’ve suggested therapy for us but no luck. I feel so stuck and I can’t bring someone into my family who doesn’t want to be part of it, that’s a non-negotiable.

Netizens’ comments

• It seems like she hasnt processed her mothers death and tbh if family is super important to you this may not be the time for a wedding. Im not saying end it but she really needs therapy and especially if she is going to heal enough to be able to be part of your family the way you hope.

She needs a therapy to process her grief. Problem is not the wedding, wedding is not mandatory after all, problem is she and her relationship with your mom. You wife should be able to be around MIL , and future grandma