A girl shared how her boyfriend is unhappy with her still seeing and being friends with her former “friend with benefits” – she says that she “really don’t get it”.

Here is the story:

“Hi, I’m at wit’s end with my boyfriend.

I’m in my early 20s and I’ve been with him for a loyal 3 years. we’ve had our ups and downs but we have recently been arguing over one issue.

He has repeatedly asked me to cut ties with one of my longest guy friends. I’ve other guy friends too, but the only thing is that this particular guy was my first fwb back in my wilder days and the one I lost my V-card to.

I’ve known him for 8 years vs my boyfriends of only 3 years. I’ve been completely platonic with this guy even since before I’m met my bf.

I admit I was pretty promiscuous when I was younger and it took a while for my BF to get over that, but I really don’t get it, he’s just a friend now, and I dress modestly when I’m not with my bf.

I really dont understand what I’m doing wrong.

Is it really reasonable to be asked to cut ties with a friend? I’ve already done everything in my power to please him and gain his trust…”

Editor’s note: Girl if you “don’t get it” then you’re a lost cause.

A netizen shared how he finds dating to be a tiresome and boring affair because he found that he is the only one making the effort and the girls he dated are expecting him to do everything.

Here is his story:

“I am starting to find dating boring, tiring and expensive. I also find that it is unfair that guys have to do almost everything. I will be putting the juicy part about me complaining about girls’ lack of efforts in dates in the 3rd last para. Burn me if you want to in the comments section. If you think girls put in a lot more effort than guys, list the things in the comments as well. Would love to hear about those.

Most of the time it goes to 2-3 dates and some don’t even go beyond 1. The worst ones are those that you spend weeks or months on the app and never meet in real life. I love it when they find something stupid to stop dating me like my salary or my choice in music (yup that happened) or because I don’t drink alcohol or the best one and the most common one, because I want to have intercourse after marriage. I do ask them why they want to stop and those are the reasons they give. The more polite girls use the ghosting method which makes me feel more respected

My salary, though average, is definitely sufficient to run a family. I am just not rich. You do realize that I could get a better job in the future right? I might be the next Elon Musk who speaks Singlish. Get ready to eat your words! Oh yes, if I was a girl and I wanted to sleep with the guy after marriage, my wish is to be respected and I am apparently holy. If I have the same request as a guy, I am a loser? Love the double standard!!! I only reject girls who are rude, manipulative or think they are made of gold unlike everyone else

Guy has to pay for first date

The rule is that guy has to pay for the first date so free meal for the lady. If I ask to go dutch, I seem petty. If I pick a simple place, they complain so I have to find something that is at least mid-tier. To be honest, I don’t mind paying for meals even it means for the rest of our lives together. The problem is that we stop seeing each other after a few dates and this happens so often. I am losing a lot of money.

I also feel that the guy has to put in more effort. Come on, the competition is rough out there. I am not exactly Chris Evans. To make myself stand out, I have to put in a lot more effort. Based on the person’s profile, I would think of a relevant place or activity for the dates. I would research the things they mention in their profile like a certain sport or some famous figure. We will have more to talk about and most of the time, it impresses most of them except for the ice queens. They just need to come and enjoy the date, no effort from them at all. They might not even remember my profile or what was in it. If the date sucks, then it is my fault. Yes, I feel amazing when that happens, especially listening to them complain.

I have done this dating thing so many times that I have a routine like those guys performing shows on stages. I have experimented on various jokes or types of humor and found the most optimal ones. The only thing is that since I pay attention to their profile, I might customize it to them. We also talk about things. Literally the same darn things. Deal breakers, interests, etc. Same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over (approaches infinity).

Finds lack of effort from the girls annoying

As I mentioned, I am not Chris Evans but I do groom myself as best as I can. Most girls would come to dates in a decent outfit. I love it when girls come as if they just woke up from their bed and show how much they care about the date.

I find the lack of effort from girls extremely annoying. Some come to dates not remembering my profile. If the conversation is dry, I have to be the one who has to keep it lively and prevent it from turning awkward. Most girls don’t even try anything. They get a free meal on the first date. They don’t have to plan dates. They can give the uninterested face and it is fine. If I do it, then it is a sin.

Out of all the girls I have dated, only 3, that is right, only 3 girls have seemed to put in the effort. 2 of them made an effort to keep the conversation fun. The last girl planned the second date voluntarily. I am still friends with all 3 of them till today because they are WORTH IT.

Honestly, I don’t mind putting in the effort. It is fun to do some of the things. If nothing else, the least I expect is for the girl to put effort into the conversation and as a plus, remember something about me from my profile or our chats. The problem I have is that despite putting in all the effort, it keeps failing for stupid reasons (2nd para). Guys deserve to be respected too by the way.”

A netizen shared how she cut contact with a guy because the relationship was toxic but is still hoping he comes back to make her feel wanted.

Here is the story:

“These days, I feel that people are taking relationships very lightly. Having so many cases of extra-marital affairs surfacing, fwb, cross partner exchanges etc, I cannot comprehend.

I have been pretty down recently. So I cut contact with a guy, now for 4-5 months already. I had initiated it because I knew that the relationship was toxic right from the beginning. We already knew we were going nowhere, and eventually the day would come when we needed to go our separate ways. Yet each time, he reaches out to me, again and again, I will unknowingly fall deeper for him.

It came to a point where I knew it wasn’t sustainable anymore. So I told him that we needed to stop so I can move on. Knowing that he knows the right words to say to make my heart turn back, I even blocked all channels of communication between us. Eventually, he still managed to reach out to me and drop a last msg, saying he accepts this, but he was still sad.

Somewhere within me, I actually still hoped that he would come back and make me feel wanted. I wish he gave me the feeling that I would have some reason to return to him. But no. We ended via message, with me saying “Let’s just end here”.

Between months, I still find myself missing him so much. I would uncontrollably contact him. When I messaged him, he seemed quite contented with his life. I realized I had always been the one holding on to things that don’t belong to me, thinking that he would miss me as much as I missed him.

I know I am silly. I should move on to find someone else I can rely on. But yet when guys approached me, I only wished that I could be back with him. Many times I had told myself to move on, but when I reached the stage of  “getting to know each other”, I would feel exhausted and the thought that he is no longer with me will bring me sorrow. Why am I so enclosed?

I question myself sometimes – perhaps if I don’t love anyone, I would not get myself so upset. That’s why when I look at people who play too much, I often wonder if they have been hurt badly before too?”

A netizen shared how he finds it thrilling to get women who are attached or married to cheat on their partners by sleeping with him.

He confesses that he is a relationship wrecker with a “success rate of 25%”.

Here is his story:

“Hi. Just wanna confess that I’m a relationship wrecker. I find it thrilling to get attached/married ladies to fall in love with me and cheat on their partner.

Obviously, once I got them to cheat, I would end up losing interest and ghost them because hey, mission accomplished?.

The thrill is just isn’t there anymore.

Boasts of “success rate”

Not easy and I would say my success rate is decent at best (25%~). Used to feel guilty at first.

But anyway, if they cheat it’s their fault right. Still, I wouldn’t try it on my close friends’ relationship. At least that’s one line I wouldn’t cross.

Obviously, I never tell them any of these because I wouldn’t wanna lose them as friends. So I’ll just post my confession here.

Thanks for hearing.”

My (23M) girlfriend (23F) asked me if I would get a vasectomy and I initially told her “probably not” and now she’s upset with me and is considering this in our relationship and doesn’t want to talk.

We are in long distance relationship and she asked me this out of the blue in a Facetime call. I told her I honestly didn’t even know what a vasectomy initially was so she explained it to me that same call. After explaining she asked me if I would do one and I told her “probably not” and now she’s upset with me and won’t reply to me.

After she hung up, I went ahead and spent a few hours reading articles and blogs to educate myself about the benefits of vasectomies and the reasons to decide if it’s the best choice for me.

I’m much more okay with going through a procedure now after reading up about it but I’m not 100% for doing it because of the process/cost of it and us both talking about wanting to marry each other and have children together.

I don’t think it’s fair for her to ask me out of the blue an important question like this and then get upset with my initial answer because it takes many couples, MONTHS and even YEARS to discuss with each other if a vasectomy is the best option.

I can understand her or any girl getting upset if their partner encourages them to tie their tubes or use birth control and not do the same thing but I never pressed those idea towards her because I know how BC might negatively affect her.

I’ve told her that I’d much rather choose abstinence as the first option before consider doing a vasectomy and also because sure, a vasectomy is reversible, but also there could be implications where it won’t work and can also be very costly.

I’ve sent her a long text about how I feel and how I’ve educated myself on it, but still need to learn more about the procedure and if it’s right. I also let her know how I feel that isn’t fair for her to be upset after my initial response because something as big as this takes a lot of time to think through.

She still hasn’t replied to me so I’m going to wait a little bit to see if she wants to call and talk about it after she reflects on my response. Not sure what I should I say?