Ignored how severe my constipation was for 3 weeks and it all caught up with me last night.
I’m sure I (30f) will carry this whole story with me to my grave. I’m usually very open with certain people, but this is just one of those things so grody that I do not want anyone who knows me to have this mental image of me. But I am about to paint it for you all, because I really just want to get this off my chest. Like I still can’t believe this all happened.
If you don’t wanna read gory details about poop, skip my post. No hard feelings.
I’ve been constipated for at least 3 weeks, only pooping small amounts and they were very hard poops. The kind of poops that leave no residue when you wipe. Tbh they were like asteroids – small clumps stuck together to form one bigger clumpy rock. Usually the size of golf balls, maybe a bit bigger but slightly flatter.
I’d tried everything short of an enema… ‘cleansing’ tea (laxative like), stool softeners, mineral oil, lots of water, less fiber, lots of fiber, buttery popcorn, exercise, etc. But nothing was helping much and most things were just upsetting my stomach.
So anyways, onto last night. I was woken up around 2AM with the sudden, painful urge to poop. I sat on the toilet, put my feet on the squatty potty, and leaned forward. I had the trash can in front of me because it felt like one of those poop, puke, or both moments. I got super hot and sweaty so I stripped myself, as one does in these situations. Nothing was coming out. I was so beyond uncomfortable, I seriously considered waking my fiance (30m) to take my to the ER.
I ended up laying on the bathroom floor during a brief reprieve and realized that laying on my left side was helping to get things moving and eased some of the nausea. So I put an old towel in the bathtub and layed down in there on my left side, back pressed against the wall of the tub, the cool porcelain felt very good on my back. I figured if I pooped or puked here it’d be easier to clean up anyways.
I was contorting around to find the best position to push this poop out. I ended up with my left leg flat, bent at the knee, pressed against the opposite wall to my back; my right leg raised, foot pushing on the little soap holder on the wall in the middle of the tub.
I know you’re not supposed to push a lot or strain so much, but was in so much pain that I’d rather just deal with the hemorrhoids later.
So I kept pushing and eventually, I felt a breach! I considered reaching down to just pull it out with my hands, but didn’t want to risk a change of position ruining the moment. I maintained, trying so hard to not lose the pressure between pushes / breaths. Two asteroids plunked out onto the old towel, literally with a clunk. I layed there for a moment to make sure that’s all that was coming out, to catch my breath, and allow the body heat to dissipate some. When it felt safe to do so, I got up and used toilet paper to grab these fist sized asteroid turds and flush them.
Feeling better and rather pleased that I’d discovered a new ‘life hack’, I threw the old towel away, took a quick shower, and went to lay back down. It was about 2:45AM at this point.
At 3AM, the same sudden urge that had woken me up earlier returned with a vengeance. I figured this would be an easier go since I thought those two asteroids were the blockage causing me so much trouble. I was very wrong. I was back on the toilet, nothing on and sweating bullets, doubled over ready to puke into the trash can, wishing to end it all.
I figured the tub trick worked before and laid down another old towel, assumed the same position as before, and tried to breathe through it. After about 20 minutes (not pushing the whole time, obviously), another two asteroids thumped out. There was some relief, but not as much as before. I felt more movement in my bowels and wanted to get back onto the toilet, but didn’t want to risk losing any momentum, so just stayed there. Just a minute or two later and another asteroid thump… I could instantly tell was the last of the blockage, it’s truly amazing how much regret and how many thoughts can flood your mind in one second. Before I could even lift my arm, three ‘normal’ turds blasted out of my butt, instantly followed by a steady stream of diarrhea which realistically lasted about 15 seconds (felt like minutes).
I don’t know if you’ve ever felt a solid 15 seconds of thick, hot diarrhea freely flowing from your body (while you are not on a toilet) and I don’t even know how to describe it, but I’ll try: Physical relief, of course, but also a kind of terror (will this ever end?) – Dread (the mess…. on myself and in the tub) – Regret (why am I still in the tub?) – Panicked anxiety (will my partner come into the bathroom at this very moment and find me here, like this, in the tub, volcanic poop still gushing out of my asshole?)
Finally, a few concluding squirts sputtered out and it ended. I layed there so briefly, just to make sure I didn’t pass out when I stood up. The stench was incredible. The asteroids smelt a bit, but nothing could compare to this hot stench engulfing our tiny bathroom, effectively turning it into the pits of hell. I was amazed to see that the towel had caught 95% of it all, though. I used the unsoiled half to wipe off my leg and butt cheek enough to where I wouldn’t drip poop everywhere when I walked to the kitchen to get two garbage bags. I came back and carefully rolled up the towel to double bag everything.
I plopped that onto the floor, turned the shower on, lit a few incense matches and sprayed some room spray, praying the stench would dissipate by morning. I rinsed off and used an old rag to scrub all affected areas before just sitting down under the stream of warm water. To my horror, I hear the bathroom door open. My showering had woken up my fiance and he came in to pee. I peaked out from behind the shower curtain and he, bless his heart, only asked if I was okay. I just looked up at him and mumbled something about ‘getting sick’, but the bathroom still reeked and he sees the garbage bag bundle on the floor. I’m sure he pieced together a part of what happened. He asked if I needed anything and when I declined, went back to bed.
I finished my shower, triple washing my whole body and making sure the tub was clean. I took the bags out to the dumpster, came back inside, sprayed more room spray in the bathroom, made sure the door was latched shut, and went back to bed at almost 4AM. My stomach still felt a little uneasy, but I was confident there wasn’t anything left that could work itself out tonight and I was exhausted. I slept alright and woke up this morning tired and still feeling a little sour, but much better than last night.
Although I really wish I had moved to the toilet before the diarrhea started, I am honestly relieved that it happened. I do feel better today. Constipation is no joke and I’ve dealt with it many times in the past, so I know better! I should have done an enema or talked to a doctor much earlier, but I convinced myself to wait it out because I was pooping, albeit very small amounts.
The past few weeks, I hadn’t been able to eat properly because I’ve felt perpetually full and/or nauseated this whole time. I was constantly uncomfortable, achey, and having migraines but I’m not sure how much of that was caused by the constipation directly. If you’re constipated, DO NOT wait 3+ weeks to deal with it. Even if you’re ‘pooping a little’ every so often. It just gets worse and worse. I think an ER visit would have been justified last night (though I am glad I avoided it) but I definitely would have wound up with a doctor digging poop out of my butt if I hadn’t gotten this cleared out in the next day or so.
And that’s the end. Byeeeeeeeee…
