I’ve been together with my boyfriend for 3 years. Last year he graduated and found a job that pays him $3.5k a month. To be honest I was shocked that his salary is quite low. Because some of my friends and cousins are earning much higher than him. I often encouraged him to find a better job. I also asked him to take up some courses to improve his chances. He already took up a few courses but he still couldn’t find a better job.

Recently, I was bored and downloaded a dating app for fun. Surprisingly, I matched with a lot of guys who seem quite eligible. I even matched with a lawyer and an investment associate. I have been chatting with the investment associate for two weeks now. He would text me only a few times a day because he’s a very busy guy. Yesterday was his birthday so he told me he celebrated his birthday with his family at home.

After his birthday celebration, he suddenly said he wants to see me. At around 3am, he snuck out of his house and drove to my house to see me. I went down to the carpark to meet him and was quite surprised to see that he drives a luxury car and he looks even better in real life. We chatted for 2 hours in his car. He then walked me to the lift and even kissed me on my cheek. Although we barely know each other, I actually feel quite happy that he kissed me. When he reached home, he texted me to say that he enjoyed talking to me and he would like to see me again.

He seems like a really nice guy. I know I shouldn’t compare but my bf isn’t even that nice. And my bf is unable to find a decent job so I’m worried about my future when we get married. But my bf and I have been together for 3 years so our relationship is very stable. I feel like if I break up with him now, 3 years of my life would be wasted. What should I do? Should I just stick to my bf because he is obviously a safer choice?

Or should I continue to go out with the investment guy and then break up with my bf when the investment guy confess to me?

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How would you feel if your date was bigger than you were expecting?

Ok, so hear me out. I’m overweight. Not in the hehe-cute-chubby-baby-fat kinda way, in the oh-she-better-lose-that-weight-quick kinda way. That doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything about it, I’ve lost a substantial (arguable) amount of weight (38kg) over the last year. The problem is, I’m still overweight, obviously.

When I was bigger, I just opted not to date because I really didn’t feel confident in myself and being hefty meant I really wasn’t pulling anyone lmao.

Having lost 38kg, however, has boosted my confidence and I wanna dip my feet into the dating pool again. I’ve been on dating apps and have dates set up.

But now, I’m getting cold feet. Being nervous for a date might be normal, but I feel like mine is directly related to the fact that I’m still pretty overweight.

I must add that I did not intentionally catfish anyone. I have my face and my full body pictures on my bio. But I feel like I’m one of those people that look bigger when I’m standing next to someone else but “somewhat normal” (again, arguable) when I’m standing alone.

So I feel like I may disappoint the guys I’m meeting. And that makes me feel horrible. I almost called and cancelled on one of my dates because I feel like I’m doing him a disservice by being… well… me.

A friend of mine asked me if I would then just wait till I’m smaller to date again to which I said I might just do that lol. But man, waiting another whole year to lose more feels too long away for my lonely self.

So, guys and girls, how would you feel if the person you’re meeting is bigger than you were expecting. And should I just retract my feet from the pool for a bit longer?

After 18 years of marriage, I just found out that my children aren’t mine.

My wife Kelly and I have known each other for over 20 years and have been married for 18 years. We have 17-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, and I found out that they aren’t mine 2 days ago. My kids were got those ancestry tests for the family and we found out that I am not their father.

Kelly and I met each other as coworkers at a job right out of school. We both were very ambitious, so after working for a couple of years, we decided to start our own business.

We fell in love, and a year after starting our business, we got married. A couple of months into marriage, we had a massive fight over the direction we wanted to take our business in, and I left our home. She came to me a couple of weeks later, and we compromised.

We’ve been inseparable ever since. Kelly got pregnant around that time. We’ve been through thick and thin; our business has been through several hardships but we weathered them together. We were always there for each other; we could always depend on each other. I loved her so much. She was a part of me and I couldn’t even imagine a life without her.

I trusted her absolutely until this happened. Kelly has been crying and apologizing constantly. She told me that during the time we had that fight at the start of our marriage, she got drunk one night and slept with a random guy, and that she has not cheated on me since.

The betrayal has left me disoriented. I told Kelly I needed time to process this and I’m currently staying at a hotel. I don’t know what I’m even doing anymore – the last two days have been a blur. I feel like a zombie, completely unable to feel or process anything. I don’t intend to abandon my kids – I might not be their father, but I’m still their dad and I love them dearly.

Right now, I’m sitting on my hotel bed and I have not eaten anything today. My thoughts are a mess, so I’m writing this down to help me process. Kelly has always been a great wife and an excellent business partner. I don’t know if I’ll be able to look at her the same again or if I’ll be the same person again. I don’t know how to move forward.

How to stop feeling judged at the gym?

Hi All, I wanted to lose weight, so I registered for a workshop. The workshop is held in groups, and I noticed that most of the people are fit (six pack kind), leaving me the only bui bui (fat).

So, as the lessons are being taught, my subconscious mind is thinking that I’m being judged….. be it physical appearance or my form.

I know that I think too much but how to get rid of the thoughts/feeling?

Netizens’ comments

• Idk if this helps but I like to think that sure when people see you they may know you’re out of shape but at the same time, they also know that you’re here. That means that you’re putting in effort to change and there’s nothing shameful about that.

• Think about it this way. If someone go gym 4x a week see so many faces, do u think they will rmb them by the end of the month?
  When I first started, I skinny af and only dared to do 3-4 exercises before I zao. It’s been 6 yrs and now I still skinny af (ok but less so) but also don’t care.
  Anyway some of them prolly think you good for working on yourself. Keep grinding bro/sis and work for yourself, not because of others
• I have been working regularly for past 20 over years. And when I see someone who’s out of shape coming to the gym, I always happy for that person because this is a person who’s taking actions to make a positive change.
  Don’t worry what others think mate, their perception really isn’t important. It is what goes on in your head that makes all the difference. Keep at it and when you look back, you’ll find that it is quite silly. Gambatte!

I can’t stand my autistic brother I won’t disclose much about myself but my older brother is almost 19 years old, and severely autistic.

He’s the middle child out of a lot of other siblings. He can’t talk, only grunts and barely makes out words like “water” “chips” “iPad” and “car”.

And god that iPad. All he does is literally run around the house making the most noise, blowing his snot everywhere and making disgusting sounds with children’s rhymes playing at the loudest volume on his iPad.

I can’t stand the sight of him. I’d walk by his room and he’d for absolutely no reason grab me and punch my back or slap my head with all his strength, and he’s pretty strong considering he’s running 24/7.

He throws the worst tantrums that wakes everybody up at night, throwing himself on the floor, screaming, breaking things, hitting himself, etc.

And he pees everywhere. The house smells like absolute urine now. He does have someone taking care of him but she barely does anything and my mom won’t replace her. Adding to that my mom has the constant need to baby him yet somehow ignore his clearest needs.

He’d throw a tantrum and she’d try to save the day or whatever it is shes trying to do and tries to calm him down which only prompts him to grab her wrist, bruising her, which she gets mad at and hits him back and starts yelling at him which is so stupid because he’s clearly overstimulated and she’s making it worse.

He literally peed on my bed once when i wasn’t home and my mom just denied it, and once one of our maids confirmed that he did she said “so what? It’s your brother. No need to replace anything.”

This part is a little gross so I’m just warning you. The worst part of it all is his private parts. Constantly scratching at it and like playing with it which i know he doesn’t realize he’s doing but it doesn’t make it any less gross.

In the middle of the living room, at that. He sometimes runs out of the shower with nothing on which is not a sight i want to see. He’s a 19 year old man, just to make sure i’m clear here.He pees all over the floor and doesn’t wash his hands. I can’t stand him. Every time i see him it’s like my body just seethes with hatred and I just think about how much of a burden he is.

We can’t go on any trips because i have the same fight with my mom every time. We should go without my brother because he hates the plane ride, runs to the middle of the road if we’re walking on a sidewalk.

And literally the most obvious reason: he’s autistic! He can’t stand change! She literally just brings him to prove a point; he doesn’t enjoy himself, all she wants to do is throw a pity party for herself.

I barely covered everything, but then I would never finish. I know it’s wrong and i’m mad at him for things that are out of his control but it doesn’t make me despise him any less. I hate that I feel like this and it’s horrible that this might make me ableist in a way?

I don’t want to be, but it’s so hard because when I see him it’s like i’m looking at all the germs or bacteria around him like some kind of aura he carries around.

The overstimulation, the fidgeting or stimming i completely don’t mind. It’s really not his fault, it’s the lack of care he gets, but i can’t stop myself from being absolutely disgusted by him.