I was completely ignored and talked over by a male server while ordering food

my boyfriend lost his job so I’ve been paying for the majority of our recent dates, which is completely fine by me because my work is going well.

I had a craving for *restaurant name withheld* and we decided to go there. We walk up to the counter, the man behind the counter asks my boyfriend if we’re ready and I said “I know what I want, he’s never been” the guy cuts me off at the last word (never looking at me or acknowledging me) and says to my boyfriend “take as much time as you need!”.

So he finally decides and my bf tells me to go first, I start to order and the server is looking at my bf instead of me.

I tell him what I want and he completely ignores me. An awkward moment goes by and my bf nervously repeats what I said and then the server puts it in the system.

He then orders his food as I pull out my card and stand there holding it waiting for the total. He looks at me holding the card, faces my bf again and says the total.

I put the card in and pay. At this point I’m pretty annoyed. My bf got a drink that’s behind the counter, and I got a fountain drink that is self serve.

Someone else fills up his drink and puts it in the counter. Another moment passes and I ask if I can have my cup. Server made an annoyed face and handed my cup to my bf, we were also on different sides of the register so he made the choice to grab the cup from my side, then move his hand across the register and hand it to him.

Micro-aggressions aside, I was paying for the meal. He was waiting for my bf, (who had never been) to order for me and know the total. It’s been really grinding my gears lately.

My husband cheats on me sometimes, but I don’t care because I’m very well taken care of
I know this is against the norm because cheating is looked down upon and I used to care a lot more when I was younger but now, not as much.

My husband and I have two kids together and I consider myself fit, curvy and beautiful. Most people can’t tell that I’ve had kids. I run a few businesses and we also have a nanny which really helps both of us when it comes to having our own time.

I have always known my husband had wondering eyes and for the most part he is amazing. Except for the times where he will go fool around with someone when he goes to Vegas for the weekend or something. Before these trips, he will always leave me extra cash and, he always brings me back something. It’s never the same person and always a one-night thing. He doesn’t take girls on vacations, he doesn’t have sugar babies, he only does hookups. He doesn’t want to commit to anyone else even though in the traditional way he’s not fully committed to me either.

He is safe and I also test myself regularly. We don’t talk about it out in the open and it’s kind of one of those things I know but don’t speak of unless something in particular upset me. We are loving, intimacy is great and nothing is amiss. He lives with us and comes home everyday.

The main reason why I don’t care so much about his occasional ONS is because I’m very well taken care of. Anything I want, he will get me. If I tell him I want to go vacation somewhere, he will take me. I don’t look at the prices when I shop. And if I do decide to leave him (he doesn’t want me to but I do feel that one day I might), we have already discussed my monthly alimony and child support, which is close to the mid-5 digits. Right now, everything I spend is on his card that he pays off and he also gives me monthly allowances for me to keep/save despite me having my own money from my businesses (that he helped me open).

I have never spoken this aloud because I know people will tell me it’s wrong for me to value a comfortable life over a monogamous marriage and call me a gold digger. But the truth is, I’ve been with my husband since he was flat broke. And while I would love to have a faithful marriage, if I had to choose between that and never having to worry about money, I would and am choosing the latter.

Help my buddy doesn’t bathe. For the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that he never goes to the toilet to shower. Despite guard duty on weekdays, he doesn’t shower.

Despite repeated warnings by his bunkmates he refuses to bathe. He really smells and tries to mask It with deodorant.

Furthermore, he does not eat any of his meals. He collects the full meal with the extra bun and discards the full meal away after.

When he was confronted by the sgts, he tried to fake bathe by bringing his towel and soap to the toilet stood inside the cubicle for a while and walked out. He then informed me he has bathed

What can I do to convince him to bathe.

Netizens’ comments

• maybe all of you can hold your nose when near him

• ok regardless of all the judgement, objectively, if he uses deo it means that he knows he smells bad enough to require it.
  so proper way to solve this would be to find the reason why. if u really want to help, u cant start with the endgoal of him in the cubicle everyday showering since it will just push him further away (think smoking and quit smoking signs).
  is it an in camp thing or in general thing? is it adjustment disorder since u mention not eating as well?

Bf bought me an obiang branded bag from overseas. What should I do?

Bf insisted to spend min 1k on my upcoming anniversary gift because I have gifted him an ipad pro for his bday.

Nearing the anniversary, I have bought him an iphone to replace his 4 year old phone. He was actually quite unhappy upon receiving the present because he once told me he don’t appreciate receiving a phone as present. So I intend to sell it on carousell since I can’t refund the phone that was purchased during Lazada flash sale. My bf decided okay he will use the gift since it’s a gift from me so he broke the seal of the iphone box even though i managed to find an interested iphone buyer but left it unused up til now. In fear that I wouldn’t like his 1k+ gift, he revealed he’s buying a DSLR for me as I can take nice photos if travel overseas. I stopped him from buying. Reason being the current working adult me has no use of a DSLR, and my flagship phone camera is suffice for someone who doesn’t take photography to the next level. I find the bulkiness of the camera more of a hindrance for an amateur. 

A few days later, bf went into jb with his friends and asked me if I am cool with getting a branded bag for my anniversary gift since they are headed to JPO. I have zero branded watches/bags, because I believe that scrimping and investing are good for my future. I just thought it’s a good idea to be gifted my first branded, so I gave him the green light. I very much prefer a swissmade watch but since he suggested, I decided to flow along with no objections (additional info – He doesn’t like to be restricted by a wishlist…. And I clearly updated him I wanted watch/necklace/proposal ring from him). I specifically told him no coach/longchamp in order to avoid “auntie” designs. He chose to surprise me with a gucci instead.

I was ecstatic to receive it initially, however…. After unboxing and removing from the dust bag…. The bag looks just like what I’ve imagined a coach bag to look like. When I posed with it in front of the mirror, I couldn’t control my expression and my bf could feel that I was disappointed. The bag doesn’t feel like a luxury bag…. I would pay $150 tops for the bag, but it costs around $2k. He chose the bag based on functionality(i.e. Able to store umbrella and water bottle) rather than aesthetic. Later I went on to google about the bag and JPO, and realised that the design is unlisted on gucci website (any bag pro could tell me what this means? Does it means my bf has bought a fake?) and JPO mainly sell outdated products.

Bf told me if he’s alright with me selling if I can sell it above cost price, but the max the buyer is willing to pay is only 50% of cost. Bf is still heartbroken and unwilling to bring it back to JPO for exchange/refund because it’s very bulky and he said it’s hard to bring across the custom via bus. It’s endearing to see him put effort into choosing my gift, and I’m really guilty of rejecting the gift. If this bag is <$300, i would have willingly kept it as a memento instead of desperately wanting to turn it back to cash.

It’s now sitting at my house gathering dust for the past week. Have been feeling  uneasy whenever I see the bag… Probably because I don’t want to use it and a $2k bag that I don’t want to own is now my responsibility. Can anybody advise me what is the next best step?

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