I found out my husband of 6 years watching “Son-and-daughter” videos

I am 29, my husband and I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I recently went on his phone while he was sleeping and found weeks of these types of searches, and various videos.

I’ve asked him to buy cameras so we can put it everywhere in the house but he refuses saying there is no need.

I don’t know what to do or how to confront him about this. I slept with my daughter the past 2 nights and didn’t tell him why.

If I confront him he will 100% yell at me for going through his phone. I cannot leave as I have no where to go. What would you do if you were me? I feel trapped, scared and ashamed.

Netizens’ comments

• Don’t let the people in these replies make you feel bad for being concerned and disgusted by what your husband jacks off to. But do talk to him about this.

• I’ve been an escort for around 15 years. Although I don’t know his exact circumstance, I used to get a lot of guys who wanted to role play in similar scenarios. (Some ask for stepdaughter role play, some say niece role play, et cetera.) 

• Ignore everyone else, just talk with your husband, don’t let your marriage end because of bad communication

I have an 18y/o cat Misty, I’ve had her for most of my life and she helped me overcome many things such as my parent’s divorce, coming out, my mom’s death and many more. She’s precious to me and I know she doesn’t have much time left so I go out of my way to spoil her every single day.

2 years ago I got into a relationship with my bf, James knew I was a massive cat fan and although he didn’t share my enthusiasm for cats she didn’t mind it.

Last year I offered James to move in with me, I have my own apartment which I inherited from my mother, it’s in a nice location in our town and is close to James’s job. He agreed and moved in the following month.

Half a year after moving in James fell ill out of the blue, he brushed it off at first saying it’s probably nothing but I convinced him to go see a doctor and have some tests done.

The test results came in and we were shocked to discover James is allergic to cats. Apparently, he was probably mildly allergic to cats all his life but since she was never exposed to them for a long period of time it was never discovered. Him being exposed to Misty for over a year is what made his allergies much worse.

I’ve talked with James about our plans for the future. I offered he could start taking anti-allergy medication (which I said I’ll pay for) but he refused saying she doesn’t want to swallow a pill every day so he can keep living at home, which is valid.

I then asked him when she’s going to move out. James looked at me confused so I explained that since he is living with Misty is what causes him health issues it’ll be better for him to move out.

James started arguing with me, claiming I’m ridiculous for suggesting he moves out over a cat. I told him I’m not going to re-home Misty under any circumstances, and offered he could move in again after Misty passes away eventually, but until then he have to find a different place to live in.

After arguing some more James left to sleep at his sisters place and I’ve been getting calls from mutual friends who caught wind of the situation, some were sympathetic while others called me heartless for preferring a dying pet over a living human.

I’m very conflicted over this whole situation and although I feel like I’m doing what’s right and my request isn’t unreasonable I’m afraid I might be wrong.

Why is everyone so offended that I don’t want a wedding?!

I don’t want a wedding. I just want to go to the ROM. My boyfriend and I both don’t want to do the whole ceremony and formal reception.

He wants a barbecue-type party with friends and family to celebrate, no dj/band or photographers or floral arrangements or anything that goes along with a typical reception.

Both of our families are offended we don’t want to do the wedding thing.

For me, I dread being the center of attention and the idea of everyone I know staring at me all night is my absolute worst nightmare.

My mom saying it’s selfish not to have a wedding and stupid because of all the money we’d receive as gifts. His parents are devastated we never planned on a church wedding(which wouldn’t happen even if we decided to have a ceremony).

My aunt said I can’t ruin her dreams of me having her kids walk down the aisle as ring bearers/flower girls. That is everyone else’s opinions and desires. And not mine.

Am I so wrong as to not want a wedding?

Netizens’ comments

• I’m the same way. Weddings are overhyped, awkward, insanely expensive parties that the bride and groom don’t even get to enjoy.

• our aunt’s big dream of showing off her kids at your wedding?? Sorry, but this is so twisted it’s funny. I wish I was your friend to hug you and laugh together at what families can be. Relax. Tell your aunt she is free to get (another, eventually) wedding herself and torment her kids for the ceremony. Tell your mom everyone must be so perfectly healthy and content in life to make such a big deal over this. Your wedding. Your joyous occasion. They must not spoil it for you. Unless you’re unconsciously using their protest as a way to express your own inner doubts, there’s no reason why you should sacrifice this perfect day in your life for being a people pleaser. Plus, barbecues are fun.

I recently found out that my bf was cheating on me.

When I had found out I was HYSTERICAL. I was a sobbing mess and the only thing I could think of was to find one of my friends to show her the screenshots I was sent of him cheating.

I had told her that they made me too upset to look at and asked if I could log into my Instagram account on her phone so she could help me figure out if they were real or not. She agreed, so I logged in and went back to class. Once class was over, I went to go find her and she revealed to me that she had actually messaged the girl that he cheated on me with.

I wasn’t upset even though she had done it without my permission. This whole situation has put me in a bad place mentally for the past few days and my friend knew this. When I told her that I didn’t know what to do, she told me to leave him.

I understand why she told me to leave him but I also know that she has never liked my bf. Fast forward to last night when she and I were talking to each other over text. She was telling me how she hated me bf and I brought up that she had “harassed” him for a while in the beginning of our relationship. She WENT OFF at me.

She told me that she had never harassed him. I brought up the fact that she would edit pictures of him and send them to him, and I know that this made him uncomfortable because he took all of his posts on Instagram down.

She told me that I don’t know what harassment is because if I did I wouldn’t be accusing her. I told her to “cool it” because she went from talking crap to my bf to just being rude to me. I explained to her that I wasn’t in a good enough place mentally to handle this and that she was making things worse.

She just replied that she hoped that she was being rude and that my feelings were hurt.

So my preteen stepson finally gave me the “you’re not my father” response.

So for a bit of a background, I am previously widowed with one child and my wife is previously widowed with 2 boys. We’ve been married for 5 years, and we have 2 girls together. The oldest is now 12 year old. I have always made it a point to consider all the kids at home our kids, and I always encourage them to honor the memory of their biological father.

So as with all preteens, this one is turning into a little jerk, which is probably the way I was at that age as well. So he is on his phone way too much and doesn’t do his chores or school work, but the worst thing is that he never takes responsibility for his actions. He never just owns up to his mistakes and always tries to deflect the blame on someone else. And then he starts being upset and starts yelling and hits his brother.

Anyway a couple nights ago after doing nothing all day, my wife and I sat down with him and discussed his behavior, and as always, he deflected. I lost it and started yelling at him. I was careful not to say anything actually insulting like calling him lazy etc.

I basically told him that he screwed up and I can’t confront him about it during the day because his deflection will just make the house intolerable for everyone else. So I waited until everyone else was already asleep.

He then started talking about stuff I did and I told him that every time he brings up stuff I don’t do right, I always own up to my mistakes, and I said that if he were on his phone all day and would have just said “I will work on it”, I would have been ok with that, but I can’t stand his constant deflecting and blaming others. He then went upstairs crying.

That was 2 days ago. Today he complained about something that I did and I asked him how he would like me to handle the situation differently going forward. He responded by saying “I don’t care. You are just the guy who married my mom and nothing else. I have to share a house with you, but nothing more. You are just like a roommate to me now.”

I responded by saying “Well that only goes one direction. I will always consider you my son and you can approach me whenever you want. You can’t say anything to change that.”