I’m 21 and I want to feel desirable but I can’t. I’ve been blessed with a nice face, body, personality but my private part is just awful.

I never really realized this until about two years ago when my ex told me it was gross, like meat flaps. But even after he said that I didn’t really pay any mind, until now.

I’m seeing someone new and all I can think about is that he’ll think my genital is gross. He’s really kind, so I know he won’t say anything out loud, but like every other guy, he watches adult videos.

I’ve seen those videos before and I know that all those girls have perfect private parts that don’t look anything like mine. I’m devastated at the thought that the guy I’m with will always long for one prettier than mine, because that’s what he’s been exposed to…

The past few days I have spent hours on the Internet looking at pictures and reading about labiaplasty. I know this sounds obsessive, and it is, but it’s the truth. I don’t know how to escape this overwhelming anxiety and insecurity. I have a lot of actual things to do during the day and I can’t be wasting more time on this, it’s stupid.

I’m only posting this because I could never say any of it out loud. I have always been a very confident and unbothered person, but lately something has just made me go down a hole. Lol pun not intended. But seriously though any kind words or advice would be greatly appreciated.

I realized that there might be young girls reading this. If that’s the case, I want you to know that this kind of insecurity is common, but ultimately unnecessary. Recognize that all of these comments say essentially the same thing: it doesn’t matter what your lady parts look like. All that matters is who you are. Be kind, educate yourself, and spend your time doing what makes you feel fulfilled.

This Malaysian barber (i assumed) laughed at my hair, when i told him to shave it he made fun of me talking with the other customers.

I don’t understand the language but its not rocket science to know someone is talking about you.

Then he said , “This one military haircut?” I said yea then he still showed no signs of respect and scolded me because i moved a little , but I think this is common among barbers.

I don’t understand, i have to serve this nation for people to laugh at me.

Netizens’ comments

• it looks like he’s mocking you but i think he’s laughing because he finds it amusing and not really wanting to hurt your feelings. many people are not rly sensitive but i can imagine him jus laughing cuz it’s a unique hair style that he seldom gets to cut for his customers

• Suck it up bro. Blame yourself for being born a male in Singapore.

• cut your own hair, saves time and hassle

• He laugh then when you pay, throw money on floor lah let him pick up

So this happened a few days ago.

My ( 35F) MIL is extremely religious. The first time I met her she waited till her son ( My now husband, 32M) was in the bathroom to say that I wasn’t right for her son as I was of a different faith

Its been years of jabs at me. Telling DH not to marry me the week of the wedding because he deserves to be with someone like him, of faith.

Here’s the thing, he’s not the same faith as her. She just can’t get over it.

So on to a few days ago. Our nearly 5yo daughter has multiple diagnoses and potential Brain Damage that we are looking into. She struggles with emotional regulation and can lash out. She also targets her 2yo sister and can scream for days. We are struggling. Badly.

MIL asked DH about our daughter and he responds with how we are struggling and really feeling overwhelmed etc.

Now one might expect a comforting msg back from a parent. Offers of help or a ear to listen.

Nope.

He got a massive msg back saying our daughter was possessed. And that we had to turn to god and perform an exorcism on her. Oh but not to do around me because I’m an unbeliever and that’s an inhibitor. She said that someone had done witchcraft, and talked absolute RUBBISH. It was bad. ( now I wonder if she is mentally ok).

I was SHAKING in anger. DH and I both agreed no contact as he admitted that his Mum would probably try to exorcise our daughter if she had a chance.

So we both composed messages back, I finally got to say everything I ever wanted to say and it felt GLORIOUS. Even said if she goes and tells DH’s sisters about how mean I’ve been then I’m happy to show them MIL messages. And what she feels about her DISABLED granddaughter.

And we both told her we don’t want to see her anymore.

She replied back. Mine was denial that she said it was possession, but merely meant OPPRESSION. Didn’t deny anything else. That was it.

DH got a lengthy one saying the same as mine, guilt tripping him and general crap. Ending in FIL has covid and is VERY sick. Nice try manipulator.

I’ve been really angry about it. Blocked MIL on everything. I did an insta post and FB story to vent. DH sisters and family have seen but haven’t said anything. I think they know how bad this is.

So yea, still so angry. Burning bridges and it feels good.

101 on how to completely mess up your relationship with your son and DIL.

My husband chooses adult videos over me, should I leave?

It’s not the first time I make a post about this topic, I guess I just need to vent and have no one to talk about it.

I 34F have been married for 2 and a half years, we were intimate 3 times right after the wedding and after that my husband never touched me again.

I have tried everything, but I’m always rejected. 10 months into the marriage I found out about his addiction, he’s not even interested in the real thing and watches it around 2 hours a day.

He’s obsessed with trans content and I don’t know what to think anymore, I have begged him to seek professional help but he refuses to do it and keep promising to “fix himself”.

Our intimate life is nonexistent, and this situation has taken a toll on my mental health and self-esteem, I have always been considered attractive but I don’t even feel a woman anymore.

After a huge argument, he didn’t watch it for 2 weeks (I was starting to feel hopeful) but last night he spent 1 hour watching trans videos again, and today I can’t stop crying, getting married was my dream, I resigned from my job for him… I feel such a loser and defeated

I’m thinking about leaving in May, I can’t force him to quit his addiction and seek professional help, but I feel devastated, I don’t want to go through a divorce, I don’t want to leave him, but how can I stay with a man who has no respect for me?

Netizen’s comments

Fixing your marriage requires effort from both people, you cannot be expected to carry an entire marriage while your husband does his thing.

You also cannot force him to get help, see that he needs it in the first place or get better.

What you can and should do is put YOUR mental and emotional health and physical needs first. If he isn’t making those better…find someone who will.

Sucks to hear but the truth is, this marriage isn’t gonna last. Resign yourself to that, leave in May, and work on healing and finding someone worth your efforts.

But also, maybe set up a boundary with your next partner and if they break it….leave. Don’t settle for less than you deserve