yesterday my dad went through my phone and now im uncomfortable around him

yesterday my dad decided to take it upon himself to go through my phone. it wasnt that big of a deal, as i have nothing to hide from him, but i did ask him to not go through my photos.

he and i both know that i have some pictures that i would much rather him not see, but he did go through them. multiple times.

he went through my snap memories at least three times, slowing down his scrolling when he knew that “naughty” photos would visible.

he swiped to “my eyes only” and tried to figure out the password, knowing exactly what was in there as well.

now, he already knows that “active” with other guys, considering i am legally an adult. we even talk about intimacy sometimes, with little to no detail.

afterwards, though, he asked me in detail about my kinks and i told him that i wasnt comfortable discussing that topic with him.

i said that 3 times, and each time, he continued to talk about it. i didnt say anything. he told me about his worst kink, which i did NOT ask for at all.

he said it was a “sleeping mommy” kink. the worst part about that is the fact that his wife, my stepmom, was sleeping on him at the time.

he told me that directly after asking me if i wanted to squeeze her chest. i said no. he insisted once before apologizing.

it was then that i realized he was trying to use me to fuel one of his kinks. i no longer feel comfortable with or around him but i dont have the means to move out yet. i feel sick to my stomach now. i hate him.

side note: i changed my password on my phone and will not be giving it to him if he asks.

My wife thinks that I am disgusting for removing my eldest son B (30) from my will.

For some background, my youngest sister was married to a man of a different race and she had his child, my niece. My sister died during childbirth and her husband died from covid shortly after. My mother adopted her and now she does her best to raise her but she’s elderly and her health is deteriorating. My wife and I do our best help out from time to time.

My youngest son A and his wife are fond of her and help out as well. B’s first interaction with her was awful he called her a derogatory word and said we shouldn’t be raising a monkey. My mother screamed at him and banned him from her home and she said she didn’t know how we raised a racist child and until we got his act together he would never be allowed in the vicinity of her home.

My wife said that we can’t force our son to like “other race” her words not mine. Once I got home I immediately asked him to move out until he can apologize to my niece. My wife threatened to divorce me and called an animal for “abandoning” our child. I screamed at her and said he is 30 years old it’s long overdue for him to be out.

I left and went to work with my youngest and told him what happened, he thinks I’m blowing the whole thing out of proportion and that only my mother was right to ban him from his house.

When B asked to stay with A he told him no and that he should apologize so he doesn’t get left out of the will. B told my wife and she locked me out of the house, I am currently staying with my mother.

Here’s where I think I might be the jerk I called the police on my son to make him leave and told my wife she was a “Beach” and not only a “Beach” but a racist “Beach”.

I have a will because I have heart disease and wanted to have everything organized incase I die.

I just found out that my fiancée slept with my brother while we were on a break and I don’t know if I can forgive either of them.

My fiancée and I have been together for 7 years but took a break for a year when we were 22. We had a nasty argument and we ended up have a nasty break up. We stayed apart for a year and we dated other people, and grew as people within that year. We found each other again and fell back in love and have been together for 5 years. I proposed in December.

So recently I found this out from my younger brother. After our break up, she was so angry at me that literally a week after we separated she banged my older brother. I never found out, but she planned to tell me but I had deleted social media and blocked her on everything so she couldn’t t reach me.

I found out very recently as my older brother confided in my younger brother and my younger brother thought I should know before I get married to her. I confronted my fiancée about it and she admitted to it.

Now, I’m am upset about this, but I do not want to dump my fiancée. This was 5 years ago. We were both fresh out of college and were very different people than we are now in terms of maturity. She says she regrets doing that so much and I believe her.

Still I’m upset. I don’t know if I can forgive her for this. I don’t know if this is something I can ever forget. I also am way more angry at my brother than her. He knew we had a nasty break up. He knew she was trying to get back at me for dumping her. He knew this would hurt me, and he didn’t care. He even kept it secret after we met again.

I’m so mad at both of them. This may be some thing I hold on to for years. I don’t know how I could just erase this. Honestly I wish I hadn’t found out.

I installed a camera in the living room and caught my husband making out with the babysitter.

I have been having suspicions for almost 4 months since I hired this (19-year-old) babysitter for my 3-year-old daughter.

I’m a nurse working full time while he works three nights a week and comes home to sleep during the day.

I felt I was going crazy because something was off and he refused to ease my mind and answer questions I had – so I put a camera in the living room and saw nothing til day 4 where he and the babysitter were making out on the couch behind my daughter’s back while she was watching tv.

I felt like my entire world came crashing to the ground. I felt all kinds of negative feelings including guilt even though I just wanted to keep my job when he complained about me pushing him to the side.

He started crying when confronted, tried to get me to listen but I took my daughter and went to stay with mom.

It’s been a whole month now. The babysitter is gone and he’s still crying about his slip up, even went as far as say the babysitter was the one initiating.

I feel like I’m done with him after this. He managed to make me feel guilty for not dressing up or giving him enough attention now I do strongly believe I bear part of the blame in what happened.

I feel disgusted and my mind and heart keep racing not knowing how to deal with all of this. he’s begging for a second chance and his family is defending him against me.

A netizen shared how he started balding when he was only about 14 or 15 and how it has ruined his life.

Here is the story:

Extreme early pattern baldness ruined my life and now I’m an old man

I was fairly advanced balding by 14/15, and it’s no exaggeration to say this wrecked my life. School was nightmarish – even the teachers were laughing.

I’d stay up late trying to hide it with hairspray, then slept like I was in a coffin so as not to ‘unstick’ everything. Due to stress and sleep deprivation my grades plummeted but I didn’t care.

At university I was the “guy with that hat” on campus, terrified by sudden gusts of wind.

This may sound amusing to some but I guarantee most people wouldn’t have taken it in their stride.

Balding so early was like having acid thrown over my social life: Dating wasn’t an option while other guys thought I was a joke.

I’m in my 40s now, never been in a relationship, had a circle of friends or any of the typical young person experiences. A 40+ virgin with less life lived than someone half his age. Funny huh? Yes indeed

I’ve let it get the best of me but balding as a kid is a very peculiar experience, totally different to that of an adult where most people have matured and are bound by social etiquette. There’s a sense of being robbed of youth while still being stuck in that phase psychologically.

Many men can rock bald with confidence and look decent, even balding in their 20s, but this does not apply to everyone. How you look bald is VERY dependent on head shape and facial structure, and if you aren’t so blessed here it can look horrible.

A few years ago I finally took the hat off, and while don’t look too bad from the front, from profile I look ugly. My head is flat at the back and juts forward from my neck, accentuated by a long beak of a nose. It’s shocking seeing photos of me from the “wrong” angle to the point where I can’t believe it’s me.

Not sure what my options are now. I can’t shave it close because I look so damn ugly from the side but the hair is very thin all over so it doesn’t seem like a transplant would take.

I mean at 42 life is practically over anyway, dating and having a family is all but out of the question, I’ll be greying soon, so is it even worth travelling to somewhere like Istanbul and spending 40k at this point?

Recently my ex-boyfriend and I started texting each other after nearly 2 months of no-contact. We went out and completed an activity that we always wanted to do together before break-up. Things seemed to going well between us. We were able to talk casually and teased each other a bit sometimes. And there was some light-hearted flirting too. I noticed that it was always me who initiated texting. But his reply had been prompt. And he’d explain his delayed reply if he didn’t manage to reply in time.

Things have been great until yesterday we were chatting over the phone for nearly 3 hours. We somehow brought up events that happened in the past. And I broke down realising that I still love him so much and wanted to give us another chance. I asked him if he still loves me. He didn’t answer. Instead he said he didn’t want to get back together with me, which I was not even asking. I was very hurt and disappointed. After the call, he still texted me light-heartedly as if nothing happened.

I feel that I need to be clear and understand where he stands. Also I want to be honest with him and myself. The next day I texted the following to him.

“Glad we talked it out last night. I care about you deeply and I love you. There are things that you must wish were different about this relationship or you wouldn’t be ending it. I’m prepared to do everything to work on things that I need to work on because this relationship matters to me. If you want to make this work, and you care about me and love me on the level that I do you, I trust that you’ll give us a shot based on that. But if you genuinely don’t want to fight for this or don’t even want to allow me to fight for this; then you must be right this is a wrong relationship. I can’t make you say yes to trying this again but I can tell you what I’m wiling to do and what I would love to do to make this work . I totally understand you don’t want us to get hurt again. And thanks for making it clear that you don’t want to get back tgt. It’s disappointing but I totally accept it. I respect your decision and I have to move on unless you tell me otherwise. Take care. Love you.”

And he replied.

“Glad that we managed to talk too. But it’s really not that simple, I have a lot of things I want to focus on and I don’t see myself making our relationship work if I’m gonna commit in other things as well. I don’t want to make everything fail at the same time. Even when I put things aside last time and focus on our relationship it couldn’t work, idk how I can make things work with me focusing on other stuffs. If I want to commit I have to make things work, I can’t be here and there and I know you won’t like it when I work on my own stuff most of the time. If we were meant to be then I’m sure we will still end up together, maybe I will succeed in something and you are still here for me or maybe you’d have moved on and I’m still a failure, we wouldn’t know. I think loving someone and moving on is a natural thing not to be forced, take care too”

What is he really thinking? I feel he doesn’t love me enough and putting up the above as excuses and keeps me hanging without being committed. He even said that I should give him time and wait for him. I feel very confused and manipulated emotionally. I still love him. My heart aches so much now. Any advice please?

–

This was our choice. We have been married 21 years. Our younger years were spent raising 3 kids while we both worked full time and I paid of my degree loan. I am not built to be a stay-at-home mom. My husband, on the other hand, was great with the kids and took care of the cooking and homework checking when I was busy studying myself. He fully supported my desire to finish my degree.

Cut to 15 years later. My career has taken off, I’m making a comfortable six-figure salary, but at my level, I find myself working 60 hours a week. When I’m not working, I don’t want to take care of household chores, run errands, or handle personal responsibilities. I want to spend time with my husband, family, and friends.

He makes that happen for me. By agreeing to be a stay-at-home husband, taking care of the housework, cooking meals, caring for our dogs and our youngest (19-year-old student), and generally making it easier for me to balance work and home life. He is happy. I am happy.

So, it really frosts my cookies when people give him a hard time for having a “sugar-mama”, or worse, insinuate that he is less of a man because HE isn’t financially supporting his family.

He lets it roll off his shoulders, but I just fume inside when I get wind of it. He is the STRONGEST man I know and supports us in all of the ways that we could ever need or want.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

And, I just wanted to make sure everyone is clear that our children are now grown. Only one still lives at home, but he is quite independent. For you SAHD’s that are doing this with young children – you are the true heroes!

The naysayers tend to be the older generation… and we’d rather just let their little comments go without a response to keep peace in the extended family. We don’t feel the need to try and enlighten them. It doesn’t need to work for them… it only needs to work for us.

I(20m) have a younger sister(6f) and she always hangs out with me whenever I’m home.

Yesterday I was playing video games and she walks into my room crying. I ask her what’s wrong and she said that our parents just told her that they regret having her.

I confront my parents about it and they said that they find her extremely annoying and that if they knew that she would be like this they have aborted her.

The part that pisses me off the most is that the reason they think she is annoying is that she is mentally slow and often doesn’t understand certain things.

We got into an argument and afterwards my sister wouldn’t leave my side. I am moving out within 2 months but I don’t know how my sister will handle not having me around to comfort her.

I’ve been extremely worried about leaving her due to the way she gets treated, what should I do

Netizien’s comments

Something’s wrong with your parents to say that to a six year old. Do you have some close relatives to talk to?

If you move out can you reside nearby? Your parents may be willing to let your sister visit often or spend the weekend.

Children can grow up fine even if there’s just one person who cares about them and makes them feel loved.

My husband and I had a very fast courtship and engagement. We met and married within 11 months and have been married for 4 years.

My husband has a job that requires him to travel a lot. Without giving too much information he is a VP of sales for a company so he’s constantly working and travelling about 50% of the time. I entered our marriage knowing this and have never had an issue.

I learned about 7 months after our wedding that he had actually been engaged to someone else, let’s call her Amanda, at the time we met. He claimed he was worried about hurting her as they had been together for a long time in the past. However what hurt me the most is that he did not call off their engagement until he proposed to me. We’ve worked through that issue thanks to therapy and we continued to still go to therapy.

Early last week I discovered I was pregnant with our third child. He was overseas so I thought it would be fun to surprise him with the news at his hotel so I planned on getting a cake with “you’re going to be a dad..again” delivered to his hotel. I called the hotel asking how I could go about this and was told they didn’t have him staying at that hotel. I assumed I had messed up where he was staying but I know his company would only put him in that hotel group.

I have, admittedly, over looked some red flags and realized something was going on. I know he keeps all his passwords the same and I know our passwords for Netflix etc and logged into his Facebook and Instagram to snoop. While snooping I found DMs with Amanda that were flirty and she had been tagging him in stories.

I called him up and asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell me. He said absolutely not, and I said are you sure because I know you’re not staying at X hotel because I was trying to surprise you with something. After now being together I can pick up on some of his lying tells and when he tried to tell me he was somewhere else I called him out on his tell and he said he would be home that night and we could talk.

I assumed he was coming home to tell me that he and Amanda were seeing each other but instead he told me that he had been having an affair with a woman we will call Sarah and Sarah and him have 2 kids together. He was with her and has not been going on as many work trips since COVID started.

The kicker is, he started seeing Sarah while still engaged to Amanda and his kids with her are 6 and one who will be 4 a week before our 4 year anniversary. He and Sarah both claim that they haven’t had “intimate relations” since their youngest was conceived. He was seeing both Sarah, Amanda, and I at once in the beginning of our relationship.

I asked him about his dms with Amanda and he said that they had reconnected at a reunion gathering, which I did not go to because I had just given birth two nights before, last year and had been hanging out with old friends.

I am absolutely devastated and confused. I gave birth to our first son January of 2020, our second son June of 2021, and like I said am currently pregnant with our third.

The betrayal goes farther with the fact his mother has been helping him hide this secret from everyone. She has been the best grandmother to my boys and is very active in their life and helps me with cleaning our home and giving me time to do things away from the kids. She knew every time he was going to go see Sarah and their kids and never once told me.

I’m coming to the realization that everything in my world revolves around him. I can’t even begin to talk to my friends about this because all of my friends are his friends wives. I feel like I am this big joke to his friends and family and I’m not sure how to change that. I don’t have a job because i quit it to be able to travel with him when we got engaged. I feel like I’m stuck and don’t know how to get out. Has anyone left a marriage not knowing where to go or how to survive?