This is quite complicated, so I thank you in advance for your patience.

A. THE BARE FACTS

• In August last year, she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend.

• In September last year, she attempted to reconcile with him and even professed her love to him.

• Around two weeks ago, she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend again.

I broke things off. Since then, she has apologized daily and promised that she is a changed person.

B. MITIGATING FACTORS

She is not emotionally healthy.

• Without going into too much detail, she was subjected to a very traumatic S experience in her late teens. The scars run deep.

• She was neglected by her biological mother. As a result, she suffers from an avoidant attachment style. She led a fairly promiscuous lifestyle prior to meeting me.

• She suffers from depression and anxiety.

• She has a slight problem with alcohol.

• She has trouble with boundaries.

• Her ex-boyfriend is a narcissist, and she claims to be struggling to break away from him.

• She is very successful professionally.

• She is in a complex financial predicament at the moment. I am very successful, and I have offered her money twice. But she has declined on both occasions. She takes great pride in her ability to provide for herself and her loved ones.

• She has never lied to me, as far as I know, but she does keep many things close to her chest.

C. WHERE I STAND

Do you know the sense of joy you feel when you complete a 5,000-piece puzzle? I feel something similar to that whenever I look at her. She fills my senses in a way no one else can.

Every facet of her personality appeals to me. I can feel that she becomes different from me. Her gentle and sensitive side comes to the fore with me.

I’m an introvert, but with her, I feel like a different person. I feel comfortable expressing myself to her.

She knows all of my quirks and flaws, and she accepts them.

I love her ever so dearly. I dream of raising a family and growing old with her.

I used to feel responsible for her wellbeing. I felt that I can help to fix her and help her get over her traumas.

My problem now is, I have great trust issues. I feel she is still in love with her ex. Last year, her ex-boyfriend told me he can have her anytime he wants. Those words haunt me now, because of how easy it is for her to cheat with him.

The past half a year has been very, very tough on me. I have been hurting bad. I feel emasculated. I feel unloved. I feel so small. I cry all the time.

The truth is, I cannot cope with another betrayal. But at the same time, I love her so much. The thought of going through life without her makes me choke up – I feel a paralyzing sense of loss when I think of a future without her.

Love is bigger than pride, right? She needs me, right? I should give this another chance?

I need your wise counsel, my friends.

A Singaporean woman recently posted on Facebook about how she felt like divorcing her husband as she was not in love with him anymore. She felt this way even though her husband was considered perfect and even respected her decision that she did not want any kids. He even bought a condo in Bukit Timah as his wife wanted it and he had to service the mortgage all alone.

Here is the full story.

If your husband does everything right, is it ever acceptable/ethical to suggest a separation/divorce because I’m not as in love with him as I was when we were dating?

I couldn’t have asked for a better husband. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t party, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t go out with friends, doesn’t swear, doesn’t raise his voice, does all the housework, washes all the dishes after I cook (every time), he’s a handyman (fixes everything himself), he’s ridiculously smart but only shows it when I ask for help, he respects my privacy, respects my space, he remembers my birthday, our anniversaries, plans a year ahead to make reservations or to prepare gifts, he’s a great listener with a keen understanding of the times I need help and the times I just want to complain, he stands up for me in front of his really conservative mother, I didn’t want kids and he did but he convinced himself that he also didn’t, maybe for my sake, he bought a condo in Bukit Timah only because I wanted it and he is servicing the mortgage alone… there is an endless list of things about him that makes him a perfect husband.

The only problem is, I’ve lost the sense of excitement with him and it’s starting to feel like he’s my father. He’s also losing his hair and every day he reminds me of my dad. I’ve suggested that he should get a transplant and I will pay for it but he insists that it’s not that important and I should save the money for other things that I want to buy. He never initiated sex, but I always made sure he had it 2-3 times a week, but lately I just feel a bit grossed out whenever we do it.

I know how this sounds. I sound like a bad person. Our life together is great, but it is also very boring. We go overseas at least twice a year together, but those vacations always feel very bland, and I think it’s primarily because I just don’t love him the way I used to love him anymore. My mom told me that having children would probably solve the problem, but I don’t think I am responsible/patient enough to raise a child as I value my freedom far too much. I also believe it is fundamentally selfish to have children because we are not doing it for them (they don’t yet exist), we’re doing it for our own entertainment.

I am running out of options and I just think it is right for me to leave him. He has done absolutely nothing wrong. But at the same time, I don’t feel happy and I don’t know what to do.

In a recent post that was shared of Facebook recently, a man stated about his happiness as he found the right girl to marry. Compared to other materialistic girls out there, she did not expect luxury items from her boyfriend at all.

Here is the full post.

Wow.. reading all these posts of girls expecting their bf to buy luxury engagement rings and even condo, I feel so lucky that I have an awesome gf who doesn’t even expect me to buy her anything.

So recently we were discussing our future and I asked her what kind of engagement ring she prefers. Surprisingly, she asked me not to buy any engagement ring for her as she feels that it’s not necessary.

I also suggested to her that we can get a resale flat because I would personally prefer to not wait 3 to 5 years for BTO. She told me that resale flats are quite expensive and she is ok with staying with my family while waiting for BTO.

As for our wedding, I told her I would prefer to have a banquet of 20 tables but she said she would personally prefer to have a house party to celebrate our wedding as she thinks that banquets are not necessary. But she said she would respect my decision if that is what I want.

I am impressed by how frugal and considerate my gf is. She keeps saying she doesn’t want me to spend money unnecessarily because I only started working for about a year. I’m really amazed by her. She has so many guys chasing her and some of these guys are apparently more well off than me. I once asked her why she never consider those rich guys and she told me she doesn’t care about living in big houses or driving posh cars because she justs wants to be with me and she would gladly marry me even if she has to stay with my parents and two sisters in a 4-room flat. I feel so lucky and I can’t wait to marry her and make her my wife.

Guys, if your gf ask you to buy her all those unnecessary material stuff, I think it’s best for you to reconsider the relationship. If a girl truly loves you, she would always help you save money and not find every chance to spend it.

My boyfriend and I decided to have a “threesome“. He’s bi and into a particular fantasy with another guy. He told me that we would only go on the apps together and be very open with each other about who we were talking to. It was supposed to be a shared activity with full transparency.

Right after we got the apps, my boyfriend got a little weirded out and said “let’s delete these apps – I’m happy with our S life.”

Then a week later, I found out he never deleted Grindr, but I had deleted all of the apps on my phone. He told me he found someone to be our “third party animal“. I was a little upset, but I did agree to the “threesome” at first, so I said whatever. He told me that they had only talked on Grindr and were planning on touching base after to holidays. I later found out that they had exchanged numbers and my boyfriend was texting him flirtatiously and the guy was calling him “daddy” and it looked like they were basically sexting with words.

I wanted to marry my boyfriend before this incident, and now I just don’t trust him. I love him but I’m just not okay with how he painted the picture of a fully transparent threesome that we would both be a part of, and then found his own S friend that he talked to behind my back. I’m very open and comfortable with him being bisexual and would be equally as mad if he were doing this with a girl.

I still love him and he’s apologized a million times and he’s open to going to therapy to figure things out. I just can’t get over my resentment and distrust.

Here is what netizens said:

Has he cut contact with this guy? It’s a bit fishy that he acted weird and said delete the apps, but then kept it himself. He intentionally kept it from you, who knows what else he’d willingly keep from you in the future. Good luck.

You should mentally prepare yourself for the possibility your boyfriend might be gay.

my bf has been ldr for almost 2 years. We are currently meeting irl for the 4th time. He has come to visit me for 2 weeks.

My parents wanted to meet up for a few hours a total of 2 times over his visit. We had dinner and spent the night. The second was to go bowling and have dinner. Both times it is like pulling teeth to get him to spend time with my family for like tops 3-4 hours. These short visits with my family mean a lot to them.

Prior to him coming I told him about the new year’s eve plans and he said he was gonna just go to sleep immediately after he got to my parent’s house. After much convincing, he stayed up until midnight and then went to sleep.

The night before we were supposed to go bowling and out to dinner he told me he didn’t wanna go and that he was gonna text them that. This upset me because I know their feelings would be hurt and it makes me feel like he doesn’t like them. I cried because of this and he changed his mind.

Once we went bowling he purposely got longkang balls so he can sit down and play on his phone again or stare into space. He told me he was bored and wanted to go back to rest. This kinda killed my mood for the night.

Besides these two times, it has been just us hanging out and doing whatever we want. I just don’t understand why it has to be so difficult to take time for them just once or twice.

How do I address this?

Here is what netizens say:

is this really the kind of guy you want to call your boyfriend? I might consider reevaluating the relationship if I were you.

Have you considered that the activities you guys were doing is not of his interest and probably nothing to do with your family?

Maybe he just don’t care and busy texting other girls lo

Okay so I met this dude while I was at lunch at some restaurant at Orchard. I’m eating my lunch and he walks up to me offering his number.

Of course, I say yes. He is a tall Swedish-looking man who works out and has good taste in movies (he’s seen Breathless y’all and he HATES the protagonist).

Anyway, we’re dating and all and I guess he’s my boyfriend now. But it makes me so uncomfortable how he wants to spend all this money on me.

He works in energy trading so he makes a lot of money. He has a high-rise penthouse, luxury cars, and so many antiques around his penthouse. And he always insists on buying things for me.

We were at Taka yesterday and I saw this dress I liked. It was like $400 so I got “yeah I’m getting this.” When we go to the counter i pull out my card to pay for it but this man pulls out his AmEx black card and goes “babe I got this.”

Like mf, I totally had this.

I don’t mind being spoiled but like I feel like it is too early in the relationship for him to be spoiling me like this. He already pays for my gym membership which is really nice but like I never asked for this and i have a lot of money of my own. I can take care of myself. How do I make him realize he is making me uncomfortable? How do I communicate this to him?

Is this love bombing?

Here is what Netizens say:

• Be grateful and say thank you, its not like u are 100% sure the relationship is going to last forever. You are saving money and investing yourself more everytime he pays for you. Pride is not worth anything. Tell me how much is worth per kilo?

• Just talk with him. Tell him that you appreciate everything he’s doing/ trying to do but he doesn’t need to buy your love. Or tell him to use his money on small things that you might like a little more, like flowers, your favorite candy etc. another idea is whoever plans the date pays. So if you plan the date you pay and vise verse. Either way you should talk to him and try and find some middle ground. Hope this helps 🙂

We have been together for 4 months and my boyfriend (25M) has never made any indication that he isn’t attracted to me (24F) but we are sort of opposite. He is in pretty good shape and works out every day. Meanwhile, I have a chronic health condition that causes exercise intolerance. I have always been on the bigger side but in the last 6 months have gained around 15kg which officially put me from the upper end of the “healthy” BMI spectrum to “overweight.”

I work full time in an industry that is very seasonal and gets slower during the winter months. As such, I’ve recently had a lot of downtime while working from home. I recently downloaded an exercise app that helps with low-impact 5-10 minute workouts I can do in my free time. When I mentioned this to him, he seemed really excited and started suggesting more things I can do, talking about physical activities we can do together on dates, etc. He then started talking about how hot I was going to start looking and what a great looking couple we would be.

Granted, I was hoping that doing small exercises throughout the day might help me lose some of this extra weight, but the main reason is that a family member with unhealthy habits is suffering from Long COVID. Seeing how much more transmissible it seems to be, I figure that I’ll end up getting COVID at some point and want to reduce the chance of complications.

Anyway, it’s been over a week now and we haven’t been intimate. I just can’t help but feeling like he doesn’t find me attractive and wishes I looked more like his exes (all petite athletic blonde girls). I know that I’m generally an insecure over-thinker, but am I overreacting? We’ve never argued before and I don’t want to start a fight over what was intended to be supportive.

My 24year old boyfriend is mad at me for telling him he doesn’t care that I am sick with covid.

On Thursday I had a horrible fever and didn’t want to move, much less take care of our 1 yr old by myself. He went to party, he told me he’d come deliver me food right after practice. Instead, he stayed an extra 2 hours to eat there and get himself signed in and help a friend get moved in.

I was upset by this and told him he didn’t care that I was here sick. He then got very mad at me and said “how dare I say he doesn’t care about me when he does everything for me.” Which I meant he didn’t care that I felt sick. He says he didn’t realize how sick I felt or he’d right away.

I am upset because he didn’t come home when he said he would when I felt too sick to do anything.

The rest of the day he wouldn’t talk to me until that night when he got mad at me again for saying he didn’t care and told me that I am ungrateful and always complain. He then also called me a psychopath for always complaining and driving him insane. we would apparently never argue if I didn’t complain and wasn’t so ungrateful. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that I think he doesn’t care.. but it seemed like he had more important things to do in his eyes…

He hasn’t talked to me in 2 days.

I was in shock because he was being so mean to me while I was sick and I didn’t see how what I said was so horrible to deserve that treatment. Is it bad of me to claim that he doesn’t care? I know he cares about me in general because he does alot for me but by me saying that he didn’t care, he says I’m ungrateful .

So I’m writing this to get it off my chest and maybe gain insight as well. I have been married to my husband[29M] for 2 years and let me tell you, it has been rocky. We have several issues that plague the marriage and they have all been my fault.

One of the issues, is intimacy level. I have a lower S drive coupled with depression on top of that and have not had much desire for it the past couple months. I feel terrible because he has expressed how much it hurts him, and it sucks. I’m just at a point in my life where it is hard for me to even want to wake up in the morning and to keep up with basic activities such as personal hygiene, cooking, cleaning, etc let alone get fired up for intimacy. This has caused a huge issue and my husband is over it.

Second issue, he wants to start smoking now. When I first got with him, he used to smoke years before I can along but he changed his life around and was no longer interested. When we started dating, it had been 3 years since he stopped. We have been together for 6 years and with life changes, he has decided that’s what he wants to do. I have never been comfortable with the smoke. If a friend or someone else does it, fine I don’t pay it much mind because that’s not my business and I don’t have to live with them.

Now, since my husband wants to do it. I have been not comfortable because I prefer a smoke free household. We discussed and I tried to have him just do vape as a middle ground since it was about the same without the stench. He tried for a couple of months and determined that was not enough for him. We have had several arguments about it as I am trying to cope with these changes and I feel bad since it’s me causing this issue and not just being okay with it with no pushback. Now, there have been instances where he has done it behind my back which we are also dealing with but this is also my fault because he felt he couldn’t talk to me about it.

The third issue is that he feels I don’t believe in him. Put it simply, he is the type to go off of faith and I am the type to go off of numbers. This doesn’t mix well. He feels as though I hold him back and gets frustrated because I don’t just go with things with ease and excitement. For example, when he was needing to purchase a new vehicle, his previous car worked fine but it was simply getting older. At the time we had just purchased a house 2 months prior and I wanted to get used to the higher bill first before adding on another. He was ready for a new vehicle asap.

So we worked out numbers in the budgeting sheet and it came out in a deficit every month. I told him let’s hold off until our income changed, I had a pending raise at the time but didn’t know how much yet and also wanted to wait for a work bonus to come in which would have been a month later. My husband didn’t want to wait and was going to proceed forward with getting the vehicle whether I agreed or not and was upset because I didn’t have faith. I am questioning all my decision-making now and really thinking I should have had faith because flash forward to now, Financially we are going great and never had any issues.

Sorry for the long post. I just need to get it all out.

I met this guy (both of us are in our early 20’s) around October. We immediately hit it off and had a lot in common. My friends and family met him and even really liked him.

He seemed like a genuinely sweet, cool guy. We’d both said we were looking for a relationship (which I feel makes the situation extra gross), but hadn’t gotten to that point yet. We’d gone on quite a few dates, all of which ended with us hooking up. In-person, he was great. But when he wasn’t around a lot of things just didn’t add up, so I’d been keeping my guard up and proceeding with caution. I thought I was dealing with a typical f-boy with commitment issues, but it turned out to be much worse.

He has a significant other. I found out by a friend seeing something he’d posted on social media talking about his SO. I called him out and have since been blocked on everything. Having been the person cheated on before, I would hope that the other person would tell me. I have no idea who the SO is, but I feel like they deserve to know. I have screenshots of everything, I just don’t know any of his friends or family and most of his accounts are private now. What would you guys do in my position? Is there anything I can do here?

What Netizens say:

• I would always apologize to the SO let them know I didn’t know and say I can provide evidence if they need it. Always tell, their life may be at risk from an STD, they deserve to know.

• Move on. Lesson learned. Dont spend any more energy on this. The SO will find out, or already knows, without you doing anything
• Hire an internet expert, to help u expose and punish those evil people out there.