So for the last few months, I’ve been hearing these sounds coming from my bedroom window. I can’t remember when it started exactly because it’s pretty sporadic though I think this sort of thing is relatively new.

It tends to happen every night for a couple of weeks on and off, but will go months without happening again. I’ve only ever heard it at night and usually pretty late. The sounds themselves have a decent range as well. Sometimes it there will be scratching on the side of the living room window, then it’ll start to become tapping on my window. (It is not a bird, as the HDB lights are bright here and there are no shadows of birds)

One time in particular it was very loud and persisted throughout the night. The sounds started from the left window, like scratching which then travelled along the side of the wall moving upwards until it reached my ceiling and began tapping and scraping at my window. Keep in mind this is my bedroom and I sleep on the second floor of the block. I actually have gotten so annoyed by it some nights that I’ve thought of yelling at it to stop (these sorts of things happen all the time so I’m very jaded).

There’s nothing outside my window that someone could stand on to reach it unless they had a ladder, and even if that were the case I’ve opened the window and looked outside with my phone flashlight and saw nothing. And just to be even clearer on how odd this is I’ll hear these sounds on calm quiet nights with no wind. So it’s definitely not a person or a tree branch because there are none outside my window even close enough to reach it.

I managed to record the sound one night. I know it’s not the most convincing audio clip because the sound could be caused by anything when you hear it, but I swear this is what I hear clear as day when I’m just in my room at night. It happened again shortly last night February 21st, I wasn’t able to catch it on time and it was much fainter.

I don’t think I can add the clip to this post without making another one? So maybe I’ll link it in the comments somehow. If you know how to do that pls tell me hehe

I met a girl, and we hit it off straight away. The second date we slept with each other and it was hot af. We dated more, got to know each other more, had a blast. Every time in bed is phenomenal, in awe of each other. Both open-minded and communicative, we play each other’s fantasies and have loads of fun.

We both started out not wanting anything too serious, but feelings started creeping in. Both trying to be a bit guarded, I maybe showed more than her, but it’s teasing and flirty and just a hint of vulnerability.

Relatively remote relationship, we see each other at weekends (both work ft) and the occasional midweek booty call, Oh Yeahhh

We have a wonderful weekend together, romantic walks, fine wine, great “exercise”, awesome company, even joke loads about falling for each other. Genuinely have a great time.

Following weekend she has a night out with friends.

Everything changes.

I go see her on the Saturday after, hangover cures inbound, snacks, drinks etc. She is cagey and distant, cites mental health issues. I am cool, we play boardgames and eat food and she feels better. I feel like a good boyf.

Next two weeks she is off point and my instincts are screaming, we “did it” again but the fireworks are gone. We hang out but its a bit awkward. Since then she put me aeroplane twice.

I repeatedly ask her if there is something wrong, something on her mind. She fobs me off.

By this point it’s obvious to me she is guilty of something, written all over her face.

I have to ask flat out if she cheated, she comes clean, slept with a random night out with her friends. I end the relationship there. Not here to be cheated on, that’s properly bad behaviour.

But I can’t for the life of me figure out why? Why would she do that? When genuinely things were going great and we were having an awesome time together?

We’ve been together for 6 months and my boyfriend is great in every other way but the same problem keeps popping up in our relationship…. Tinder.

I’ve found out he was on Tinder multiple times and afterwards, he apologizes and will delete the app from his phone but for some reason, after a couple of days he ends up redownloading the app again. He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me so this behaviour is very confusing.

Part of me thinks he just wants external validation that he’s wanted by other women besides me while another part wonders if he has a cheating fetish or something. I don’t know what to do in this situation anymore and I can’t understand why he can’t stop himself.

Any insight on his behaviour or advice would be welcome. We love each other and want to be together so I’m trying to figure out why he keeps doing this?

This has been going on for 6 months.

Here are what netizens think:

• Talk is cheap. Your boyfriend’s words and actions are inconsistent (red flag #1). Your boyfriend apologies when he gets caught (#2): It’s clear he’s not actually remorseful, he just feels bad about getting caught. Your boyfriend repeatedly downloads Tinder despite promising not to (#3).

• Three strikes, he’s out! His actions are disrespectful and his words are just meant to stop you from breaking up with him. You deserve way better, dump this dude and take yourself on a nice date.

• 6 months? Babe he doesn’t like you. When it comes to a fundamental problem in relationships, you speak about it once. If it doesn’t change, leave. Because then you’re just nagging him. Leave him now while you have nothing to lose.

• He is active on tinder. Gets caught. He says sorry. You stick around. He downloads tinder again. Gets caught again. Says he’s sorry again. You stick around again. He downloads tinder again. Gets caught again. Says he’s sorry again. You stick around again. Do you see the pattern there? Where’s the consequence for him? He’s doing it because you’re accepting it.

I made a post on Twitter about my mental health declining (which it has been absolutely since i moved to be with my bf.) we’re having a lot of issues and it’s just really hard for me to process things as i lost my whole support system (my family) and i feel so alone here. i didn’t mention anything about my relationship or situation in the tweet, it was just more so a bit of an apology for the image i had been portraying recently.

so last night i received a message from my bf’s ex wife.

“Hello, this is probably the hardest thing I will ever do, and please don’t think this has to do with who your with… but more so your mental health. One of your tweets popped up on my feed about your mental health, and I had to message you…

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that every one of [his] exes pops antidepressants and anti psychotics now… I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he also asked you to move, he isolated me from family, trapped me into paying a expensive car and refuses to get anything cheaper… took all my money, watched my mental health deplete to not being able to leave the bed (you think im exaggerating… I didn’t work for 6 months because I would BLACKOUT) PLEASE DO NOT LET YOUR MENTAL HEALTH GET TO WHERE MINE WENT…

I KNOW what he is like. I freaking married the guy, and I know… that my mental health issues were because of the way he treated me, and gas-lit me, and made everything seem like it was my problem to deal with on my own, how he doesn’t lift a finger and expects you to be a housewife AND still go to work and help with bills…. because people.. don’t.. change… not people like him, with his god-like Kanye complex, he will never change and he will never help you better yourself because he is only here to better himself. I don’t KNOW your relationship, I don’t know anything about you, or frankly, anything about him anymore….

But what I can say is I went through major depression for 3 years, and before [him] I was fine, and after him I have NEVER been MENTALLY better. Block me, ignore me, do what you need to. But… before you get to where every one of his exes is… see that the history is repeating itself. Take care”

So, I haven’t told him yet. And I don’t think I want too. I’ve been afraid of a lot of the things she said before she said them.

Made excuses. I just don’t really know how to get out. I don’t know if I’m just looking for advice? or support? i’m just terrified now tbh.

I am so tired. Been crying for the past 2+ hours.

For context, this person in the past has made rude and racist comments about my race before, and I reported him to HR a year ago about that comment, he was evidently put on a sensitivity course. There’s a history of tension between us at work even before that.

Fast forward to last week, at a work dinner, this person got inebriated, said to me that we should ‘make babies tonight’, and that ‘let’s F I don’t care if you say no’. Unfortunately, there were no other people around so no witnesses. I reported this incident to HR, and HR suggested that I should speak with him and try to reconcile.

I stupidly took that advice and met with him and HR today. In the meeting, he said that there’s no way he would have said that because his mom was raped at a young age. And that I seemed fine the rest of the night and took pictures with him and it must mean that I’m not affected. He also questioned the validity of my accusation since I didn’t say anything to him the second day when we saw each other again. I got so angry at the situation I smashed a mug against the wall.

I am just very tired of the inaction by the company. This very shitty person who has a history of making racially or sexually inappropriate comments is going to get away with things again. I love what I do so I don’t want to take the easy way out by quitting. Outside of that, I’ve been told that I can’t tell anyone about what happened, likely to protect his reputation within the company.

I was assured by HR that reporting helps to prevent incidents like these from happening again, or to other people in the future.

But what about me?