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Saturday, March 2, 2024
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DAD HAS BEEN STEALING HIS KIDS’ THINGS AND BLAMING IT ON MAGIC

I’ve been stealing my kids possessions and I don’t want to give them back
Kind of a clickbait title, but it’s the simplest way of putting it.

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My kids love Harry potter, they wear their house robes (one’s Gryffindor and the other is Slytherin) damn near every day, obviously they have wands and they practice their spells

I’ve even fake told the Slytherin off for using an unforgivable curse on her sister and making her cry “we. do. NOT. USE. THE CRUCIATUS CURSE IN THIS HOUSE”

I couldn’t hold in my smile and the kid caught me laughing myself out the room

Anyway they love showing mummy their magic so I’ll sit in our bedroom across from theirs and listen to them doing their thing, and when they scoot off to go show my other half I sneak in to their bedroom and take whatever they’ve been practicing on.

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I have an entire box of expelliamus’d items under my bed and I think if I give them back it’ll shatter their innocence, like they’ll no longer play make believe because it isn’t real.

When they ask “have you seen my…” i tell them “You flung it to another dimension with your magic”

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