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Wednesday, December 7, 2022


I have joined my current company for 2 months, holding a managerial post. After I joined, I found out that my subordinate applied for my position but she didn’t get it. Then I got to find out that she has also applied for my position 2 years ago and didn’t get it as well.


The best part is, her buddy (from another dept) in the company also applied for the manager position in her dept and didn’t get it. So both of them bitch about how sucky the company is but they never wanna resign. Because of this, I became the “victim”. She does not talk to me unless work-related. On a daily basis, we barely talk. Sometimes, we don’t even talk for days.

She do her work and I do my work. I tried to be nice, I greeted her, care for her by asking how’s her day but she is friendly to everyone except me. There were a couple of times I asked to do something and her response was, “no need lah, here is like that, no need one” or “ya ya, I done already, all I do already”. When I asked her for help on where to find certain documents, she refuse to tell me and say she will send me the attachment. If not, she just say “oh, it’s there, in the folder there, you go and search”.

I asked my fellow colleague, another manager, for help. He suggested me to “buy her in” with food and whatsoever. So I tried, but doesn’t seem to work as well (maybe I only bought her once or twice). And it is not in me to do this. Why should I buy her in? Isn’t it “default” to have some basic professionalism and team work in your daily work? My partner suggested “top-down” approach. If there’s anything she refuse to do, just tell her that I am her boss and she has to do. This is not me to do this either.

I just wanna do my work and have good teamwork to improve work processes and deliver good service to our customers. My boss is aware of what’s happening cause that’s what happened to my predecessor. I have recently spoken to my boss on my subordinate’s contract renewal cause she is approaching 67 and my boss said he’s happy to renew her.


My world simply crashed! Maybe I should have spoken up more explicitly on what is happening but, he knows! So I don’t know if speaking up again will make it looks like I CMI or just being bad at managing people.

I feel like quitting to look for another but this is the 3rd job I have changed due to human relations issue. I have left my previous 2 jobs due to human relations issues (one played out by boss and one verbally abused by boss) and because of this, I am seeing counsellor now. I am very tired in managing these issues and on the verge of having a mental breakdown.

I feel like f-care everything but I just can’t. I felt that I so fking suay that I keep meeting people who play such mind games. Can someone help me, please?

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