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Tuesday, February 27, 2024


Fiance’s family thinks I’m smelly because of my waitress work


Hello. Just will like to get something off my chest. I need some advice.

I am a lowly educated school dropout girl. My highest education was only secondary 2. I stopped schooling at age 14 as I have no parents for support. It’s very tiring to school and work at the same time. I am an orphan. I am 40 years old this year.

Recently I got engaged to my loving fiance in May. Our wedding will be this year end in October. The day before, I left work and headed for his house straight as it’s his brother’s wedding day. I bathed at my workplace before I went. I am working as a waitress/dishwasher. Just yesterday after the wedding, I overheard my fiance’s sister mentioning to the other family members that i am a very smelly person. She said I smelled like a pot of oil, and a lot of sauces. She said she could smell my sweat of oil from very far away. To my horror, the whole family agreed with her that I smelled.

Tonight they ask me to resign from my work as they won’t be able to take the smell if I moved in with them after I marry ( my fiance and I are waiting for our BTO to finish building). They mentioned that I smelled normal when I am not working and they want me to maintain that.


I felt very hurt deep inside and I cried though out the night. It was the first time I experienced family warmth since I knew them 5 years ago, I really want them to accept me. I can’t enter into classy jobs like administrator or engineers, those so called 8-5 or 9-6 jobs as I am lowly educated. I am also deaf in one ear.

My fiance consoled me by saying that why not I quit? He can support me by giving me money weekly. He’s a well to do man and highly educated. He mentioned he didn’t like pple insulting me. He mentioned to tolerate insults for a job, it’s not worth it.

If I resign, I won’t have enough money to save for the wedding, and I am not the type whom wish to be a full time housewife after the wedding and rely on a man everytime. I don’t like the thought of letting my fiance paid for everything, even though he doesn’t mind. He works very hard for his money.

What should I do? It’s not the first time I was being told I am smelly. I was being told to by friends and even strangers. I can’t wear perfume as I am allergic to sweet scents.

Here are what netizens think:

  • I consider this post very well written for someone for who did not complete sec school education. The background, situation (problem), dilemma and feelings descriptions are well conveyed and showed the clarity of thought. I had come across degree or master holders who wrote worse.I’m not responding to this post to give advice to your issues specifically.Instead I want to comment that your writing is good. Hope this can at least make your day/weekend.
  • It’s great to hear that your fiance is so loving.Can i suggest for you to upgrade yourself? There’s skills future credits. School dropout is not an excuse. Even if you don’t want to go back to school, there are free courses online.There are also alternatives that don’t require credentials if I’m not wrong? Factory work? Retail?Fighting!
  • Besides F&B industry, is there any other vocation/industry will you be interested in?If F&B is your passion, then we just need to find a solution to the aroma issue (plenty of advise given above). Ppl can talk all they want and at this age we are already very tired of other ppl BS. Ultimately, ask yourself does the smell bothers you. If it does, then do something abt it.Given your good command of English in this post, I believe you are suitable for many other roles. And being audibly challenged in one ear doesn’t make you less capable of being successful in life. Maybe wearing a hearing aid might help?Don’t quit your job bcos of what ppl say or think. Also don’t let your upbringing/environment/circumstances hinder you from being your best.Step Up and Step Out if the position you are in is not what your heart’s desire.Sit down with your fiance and discuss what is it that you really want to do. Then do up a plan and start moving towards it. It maybe uncomfortable at first but I am sure you will overcome. A lot of towkays also not very highly educated and they are also very successful.
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