A guy shared how he told his girlfriend that he was thinking about another girl while pleasuring himself, and now she’s unhappy.
Here is the story
Should your partner have a say in what you can or cannot fantasize about while self-pleasuring?
I recently got into an argument with my SO regarding the contents of my fantasy while self-pleasuring. We have an inside joke about how I shouldn’t pleasure myself before meeting her and should let her do it instead.
It just so happened one day that I actually did it before meeting her and told her about it, expecting us to laugh it off and dismiss it as a running gag of ours.
Never did I expect her to ask me about the contents of what I was thinking about while doing it, and obviously I told her it was a personal matter and I felt uncomfortable sharing with her.
However, she kept pressing the issue, reassuring me that it was okay if I was thinking about other girls and that she was just curious.
So I took her at her word, finally caved, and told her that yes, I was fantasizing about another girl. Next, she asked if she was a girl I knew in real life and again I said yes.
Finally, she asked how I knew her, and I said she was an ex-FWB (whom I have long since lost contact with). Next thing I knew I was given the silent treatment for the rest of the evening.
She eventually told me that she felt that such an act constitutes cheating, to which I strongly disagree.
I brought up this incident with a few friends and received mixed reactions. Hence I put the question out to you guys: Do you think it is wrong for your partner to fantasize about someone else while pleasuring themselves, and if so, where do you draw the line?
At an adult actress? At a random local influencer? At someone, they know personally in real life? At an ex or ex-FWB?
I personally cannot wrap my head around gatekeeping what someone can or cannot fantasize about. I understand that it may be upsetting to find out your partner finds someone else attractive, but so long as they don’t act upon it in real life, does it actually matter?
I doubt my mind will change on this issue, however, I was just curious to hear what the community has to say about this.