Is my 25M gf 22F selfish in bed?
I (25) started dating this girl (22) about three months. I really like her and she likes me a lot too. She has introduced me to her family and she pays a lot of attention to me. The relationship is great overall except the part where we get it on in bed. It’s not that it is bad, I just feel like it’s one sided most of the time.
I have learned the things she enjoy in bed and I have put an effort to please her. For example, she likes getting eaten out, she likes being fingered from the back and she likes a lot of foreplay. Every time we have intercourse I put an effort on satisfying and making her orgasm no matter what.
However, I feel like she has put no effort whatsoever in pleasing me. She has given me head once. And that was because I asked her and I noticed she didn’t like it. She has never ever done it again. She doesn’t like doggystyle, which I like, claiming it hurts her. I stopped doing it because of that. All she does really is laying down and letting me play with her and then I get on top or she gets on top to finish. She has so many limitations that I don’t even try to do anything at this point.
I brought the issue up to her… in a relatively passive way. I told her I wanted her to let me know the things she likes, the ones she don’t, the positions she prefers so we can improve. She has said she has a ‘wild side’ about her but she doesn’t want to show me it because she thinks I might stop liking her. I told her not at all.
Another example I can remember; not too long she slept at my place and she wanted to get intimate early in the morning. I was still sleeping and she woke me up to do it. It was hard for me to just go at it since I was really still sleepy. I fell back asleep but maybe after an hour I fully woke up and we did it.
Later on she told me she felt rejected. But I told her I didn’t want to reject her. I was really tired and sleepy and as she can see we ended up doing it anyway. But I also told her maybe if she had tried to entice me, maybe playing with my manhood a little bit would have woken me up and this way I would have been excited right away. But all she wanted to do was waking me, probably eat her out and then get on top. There is nothing exciting about that.
The other night we were doing it in bed and like usual I got on top; it got so boring that stopped. I told her I wasn’t feeling well. I think she knew it’s because of what we had discussed before. She started crying and saying that she thinks I am gonna stop liking her or cheat on her if she doesn’t like the things I like. I told her no… I wouldn’t do that. I like her for more than just what we do on the bed. All I wanted is for us to both enjoy it. I don’t have any weird fetish. I just want her more engaged during it.
I also recently asked some questions about about why she doesn’t like giving head. She said she doesn’t like foreign liquid in her mouth and it grosses her out. Then I asked her if she, hypothetically, would eat herself out seeing that she likes when i do it. She said she wouldn’t do it. So pretty much she wouldn’t do to herself what she wants me to do for her. I find that extremely self serving.
I guess my point is, she never does anything for me. She just want me to eat her out and get on top of her. It’s starting to make me resentful of her. If you want me to eat you out… at least return the favor. And so far she has shown no desire to do so