I 25M Can’t afford my 26F Girlfriend
This is the second relationship I’ve been in so I don’t really have much to compare this to.
What I’m used to: With my ex we would plan on where to go and that would be it, and honestly she didn’t eat a lot so I didn’t have to worry about that either. We’d both order 1 main dish and maybe an appetizer wherever we went.
Now: Last time we went out my current gf ordered the most expensive item on the menu, two appetizers, dessert, a specialty drink, and then she wanted to go to a cafe next where she ordered another specialty item and I didn’t order anything for myself. She likes to go out for dessert after we go out for dinner.
Or we’d plan to go out to eat or something or do only 1 thing. Then after that’s over she’d suggest something else that would definitely cost money, but I’m too egotistical or whatever to tell her I can’t afford it and so I take her.
How do I explain to her that I need to be mindful of that sort of thing without making her feel like she has to “watch herself” or she can’t be excited about eating certain things or going to certain places. I also don’t want to come off as broke. I don’t want her to look at me in a different light but I’m spending wayy more on dates than I thought I ever would and I’m honestly scared to go out again.
Other info: We’ve been seeing each other for about 4 months. I also go see her/surprise her at her job sometimes which is an hour a way. I KNOW for a fact she cares about me and wants to be with me.
Netizens’ comments
Stop paying for everything and just pay for your own bits if she starts being reckless with the menu. especially the second place where you didn’t even get anything, why did you even offer to get the tab (or did she just hand it to you)?
It’s 2023, men are not expected to always pick up the tab for every dinner and event, if you want to then do, but don’t feel like you are forced to.
Sounds like she’s just taking advantage of you for your wallet to me. Step back, make her pick up a few tabs, that will show you whether she is interested in you or is just looking for a free meal. If she actually likes you for you, then this shouldn’t be an issue.