I am currently in an 8yr relationship with my girlfriend . I am 42 and she is 40. We live together in my apartment. We have one child, an almost 2yr old girl.
Our daughter wasn’t planned as such, but at the same time was welcomed. I always wondered about having kids growing up but was never fixated on it.
On the other side, my girlfriend says she has always wanted at least two children and IS quite fixated on it. In the early days of our relationship, while talking about it, I said I was open to the idea of maybe having kids one day but didn’t write it in stone.
After having our daughter, and doing more reading/research about only-children, I think I am more ok with the idea of just having one, and almost warming to the idea. Only issue is, we arent getting any younger so, tme is against us if we were to decide to try have a 2nd child.
Now my girlfriend has come out and basically said that if I don’t agree to try having another baby with her (no timeline given but obviously a pressing matter/decision given our age) then she will have to leave me so she can see if she can find someone else to have a 2nd child with because she “wouldn’t be able to live with herself” if she stayed with me and if she did she could resent me for the fact i wouldn’t/didn’t give her a 2nd child.
This makes me feel so small and like having a 2nd child is more important to her than me and our relationship and makes me question an aspect of the relationship from my side of things.
So basically she is giving me an ultimatum and threatening to leave if I don’t give in and have a 2nd baby, all while i am unsure what i want.
I believe a family unit is important in raising our daughter and really don’t want her to throw that away for her fixation on a 2nd baby.
Any advice out there or help how to deal with this situation would be appreciated. A female insight would be good.
Thanks