my boyfriend(32m) says I(27f) need to prove to him how sorry I am.
I got a tattoo and it was something that was discussed with my boyfriend. not that I was trying to hide it but I didn’t feel as though I need to ask permission?
I get letting him know and talking to him about it is important. he let me know he felt disrespected in our relationship due to me not talking to him about it.
a part of me didn’t want to have the discussion because he gives me crap when I spend money and I’m already an extremely frugal person and this was something that I had been saving up for.
I genuinely apologized because it was never my intention for him to feel disrespected in our relationship but now he’s saying it wasn’t a genuine apology and I need to prove to him how sorry I am.
advice?
Netizens’ comments
- Someone insisting that you “prove you’re sorry” is looking to have power over you. Don’t give your power away.
- Get a tattoo that says I’m sorry You were ever in my life. Henna tattoo that goes away. Like him.
- Wtf? You don’t need to ask permission for getting a tattoo on YOUR body. Do you feel disrespected when he shaves his hair without asking you? And you really don’t need to apologize for something like that.
- i don’t understand what the big deal is, really. it’s your body and you can do with it whatever you please.
- You’re the one who’s disrespected. Turn things around and ask him to apologize for stealing your autonomy and ask him if he wants some complacent slave that only does what he wants and how he wants it.
- I’m gonna be honest, this sounds like a power move/establishing dominance in the relationship kind of thing where you have to “earn” his forgiveness as a reward as opposed to his actual feelings toward you getting a tattoo.