A netizen shared how she has a 6-year-old child from her friend-with-benefits who doesn’t know that he is a father.
Here is the story
I have a 6 year old kid with a previous fwb, we met on tinder when he was in the army and hooked up quite a few times at my place (my parents were rarely in Singapore those days). We always used protection so it was a surprise when I got pregnant and unfortunately we’d ended things a couple of months before I discovered I was pregnant. I’d deleted his number and contact so there was no way to get to him.
I’d decided to bring the kid up with the help of my parents and delayed matriculation for a year to settle things down. It wasn’t easy getting through NUS with a kid, it was easier in y1 but I eventually lost steam throughout the semesters due to kid commitments and stuff (I’m graduating this year, managing to get a second lower somehow but barely…)
I saw my fwb a couple of days ago in school, seems like he works in NUS but I’m not sure if I want to reach out to him. I don’t want anything from him but I thought maybe he’d like to meet his kid. He’s not from a well of family and my family is definitely high SES so my parents were also very against getting him to pay since even though it was both our decision to be fwbs they said we should shoulder responsibility as proportionately as possible. And in this case they saw it fit that we bring the kid up? They were pretty against aborting it as well.
I’m very thankful for my parents for being so crazily understanding to this situation and they were open to him meeting his kid but I’m not sure how he will take to knowing he has a boy…
I’m just posting here to see if there’s some advice on how to approach this problem. For the record I really don’t want anything from him and I haven’t talked to him in a very long time, we split on good terms but we decided to end things there because we saw that it wouldn’t work out. We were dating first then we kinda decided we were better as fwbs, and towards the end we were both starting to see someone seriously at the time and decided it would be good to cut things here. Mine didn’t work out for factors that weren’t related to my pregnancy but idk how his situation went.