Not paying for my friends half of the trip
me and my friend, Jane, have been planning a trip to Europe for months. we both agreed to split the costs of everything evenly, including flights, accommodations, and activities.
However, a couple of weeks before the trip, Jane tells me that she’s been having some financial difficulties and won’t be able to afford her share of the costs. She asks if i can cover her expenses and promises to pay me back as soon as possible.
i’m hesitant to agree to this, as i’ve also been saving up for the trip and don’t want to be stuck with all of the costs. i tell Jane that im sorry, but i can’t afford to cover her expenses.
Jane gets upset and accuses me of being selfish and not being a good friend. She says that if i were a true friend, i would be willing to help her out in her time of need.
i feel guilty and don’t want to ruin my friendship, but i also don’t want to put myself in a tough financial situation. im now wondering if i were being selfish by not agreeing to cover Jane’s expenses.
What do I do now
Netizens’ comments
- Jane has NO intention of ever paying you back. If she’s in a ‘time of need’ she shouldn’t be going to Europe, period. She’s trying to guilt and mooch off you.
- “Friends” like this rarely have actual “times of needs” because they are so used to taking advantage of other people (often in their time of need). Her anger and calling you the selfish one is part of the gimmick to trick you into falling for it. It’s no coincidence that she found someone who is gonna feel guilty for saying no.
- my parents taught me you only lend what you can afford to not get back. If Jane is struggling financially she shouldn’t be going go Europe. Don’t feel guilty for not being willing to put yourself in an adverse financial situation to help Jane, who I feel won’t pay you back.
- She knew what the trip cost and didn’t make any attempt to meet that amount. Now she’s asking you to front the money. If you do you’ll never get paid back. She might make small payments but in the end you’ll ask her for the repayment, she’ll throw a fit that you care more about money than her, and she’ll use that as the reason she can no longer be your friend.