A girl shared how she is tired of her family always fighting and sometimes she wishes she would get into a car accident so she doesn’t have to go home.
Here is the story:
“I’m tired.
Why is it that I see smiles on people’s faces when I walk on the streets but I can never see mine in the mirror? I can’t say that I come from a broken family because my parents are still married and we all live together.
I can’t say that we are a happy family either because all we do is raise our voices at one another when our views don’t align.
There is not one day where bickering cease in my house and I’m just so tired of it. I’m so tired of coming home from work and all my parents are doing, is bickering. I’m so tired of my dad belittling my mom for everything she does and I’m so tired of my mom for letting my dad continue his ways and not once defended for herself.
Sometimes I’d wish for a car accident, or any other accident, just so that I don’t have to go home and face all the unhappy things.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s better for them to be separated, am I the a-hole for thinking about it this way? I just want everyone to be happy with one another, to accept all flaws and be patient with one another.
Why is it so hard? I’m so angry at myself for being influenced by my father as I’ve started being annoyed over the small little things. I feel so upset, or even guilty, every night for what happens in the day and no one knows that I cry myself to sleep most of the time.
You guys can guess the state of my mental health.
I crave for love and a partner to grow old with but I’m so terrified that things will not go the way I want them to. I’m terrified that my partner would treat me the same way my dad treats my mom. Or I’d end up following my dad’s footsteps and treat my partner badly.
Growing old alone and dying alone is never what I wanted. But no matter who I am with, I will always find ways to push the person away in fear that I’d be hurt in the relationship. I’ve been with girls (i’m also a girl) and the result is the same, I push all of them away with my actions and words.
Right now, there is a guy that is obviously interested in me but I can’t stop thinking that he would be the same as my dad. I’m actually scared of being with a guy. I’m not saying that all guys are the same but you never know, right?
I’m sure my dad is all caring and sweet at the start of the relationship too. I’m just so tired everyday and sometimes I don’t even know how I got the strength to get through the day.
I just want everything to end so badly.”
Editor’s note: Hang in there sister…