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Monday, June 24, 2024


My (F21) parents forgot my age and keep cancelling on my birthday. It hurts being the lesser loved kid and I dont know what to do to make the hurt stop.


My birthday was this week on Tuesday, I just recently turned 21. What was supposed to be a happy day turned into a rather hurtful one, I guess. Toward the evening, my parents called to congratulated me on my 22nd birthday, separately. Both of them forgot my age.

A week before that, it was questioned what kind of present I’d like to get for my 22nd birthday, to which I replied that I was turning 21, not 22.

I get that people can forget birthdays and ages as time passes but… come on. I told them a week before, how could they forget this fast? I guess I expected a little too much, being the oldest sibling I should have known better.

Whatever, right?


Did not change the fact that I still wanted to see my father and mother, as well as my little sister (17) on my birthday. Due to previous disagreements I moved out now live on my own. A day before I called a restaurant and reserved a table for six; parents, sister, her boyfriend and mine.

Two hours before they were supposed to come, they called and cancelled. My Dad didn’t feel well. Alright, nothing you can do about it, its fine.

So I wished him well and we reschedueled to Thursday. Well, time passes and I get yet another call. They won’t be able to make it because my sisters boyfriend (sbf) is still at work and my Dad still lies in bed with a sore throat. Not wanting to have sbf uninvited and feel unwelcome they collectively agreed on rescheduling again, adding in that my dads sickness plays a role, too.

So here I was, cancelling the table AGAIN. As ridiculous as it sounds, I felt like crying on the phone. Perhaps reality had set in that my own parents gave a damn about their clingy daughter just wanting to see them on her own damn birthday.

My dad now leaves to see his Uncle and Cousin. My Aunt and grandpa both join him and apparently it was planned a few months ago.


Why can he go and see them despite being sick but not me? I have tried not thinking about it, excusing it, not feeling like a burden, but I can’t anymore. My little sister always gets a nice birthday, cake, some gifts and everyone celebrates. Its not her fault, I know that, I really really know that, but it makes me feel so bad about myself all the time. It makes me resent her and I don’t want to do that.

I don’t know if it is because Im supposed to be the “independent” or the “adult one”. Maybe I just keep telling myself that to avoid accepting that I will never be loved the way they love her, really.

I hate being the older one, I didn’t ask to be born first.

So, I guess after all this I just want to know what Im supposed to do now. I don’t know how to deal with those feelings, I just want them to go away.

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