GUY’S GF STILL FRIENDS WITH THE PEOPLE SHE SLEPT WITH, BRING THEM ALONG ON DATES

I (24M) don’t know how to feel about my girlfriend (24F) being friends with people shes slept with

Hi, I’ve been dating this girl for several months now. I have male and female friends, she does too. I have never slept with any of my female friends, she has slept with a few of her male friends.

In my past relationships, I’ve never had this issue. But I currently don’t know how to handle my feelings towards her hanging out with her friends that she has slept with.

I get that’s the past, but I don’t know how I’d feel if she were to, for example, go on a trip with these friends present? Or what if a friend needs to crash at her place for a night?

I’m not going to ask her to get rid of her friendships or anything controlling like that, it’s just I don’t know if this is a normal thing or not and how to set boundaries in a healthy manner.

It also makes me feel insecure, jealous, and honestly mad, especially if I’m hanging out with her and a friend she’s slept with is also present.

I don’t know how best to bring up these feelings to her without making her feel bad or what solution we could even come to when handling this.

Any advice or stories of your own would be appreciated. Thank you

Netizens’ comments

1. You have to ask to have a sit down where you both can express your feelings to each other.
   If you cannot express your concerns, then you will never get over it and it will fester. Your relationship will not last and you wasted all this time. If you both cannot come to a decision together then just remove yourself from this relationship and find somebody more compatible to your beliefs.
   You will hear people saying its a YOU problem. Guess what, their right, but you also have the right to feel secure in any relationship that your in.
2. The solution is the one the vast majority of people use: We don’t maintain friendships with former partners.
   She is going to have to learn this on her own terms, and probably break a bunch of relationships in the meantime. She is like everyone else. We convince ourselves we’re special and only other people are subject to the basic unwritten rules. Then we break everything around us a few times and realize, “Oh… yeah, I’m not actually more special than anyone else.”
   The problem you face is that you have to say common sense things to someone who is still in the process of slowly discovering they aren’t the special flower.
   Tell her your concerns, demand nothing of her, and accept in your heart that this relationship is very likely going to die in a fiery wreck. Enjoy the ride.