I am married with 2 toddler kids – both boys. Used to be in love with the wife but with the kids, I felt often neglected. Stress from parenting, and often angry wife, personality differences that are more apparent only now and a hectic environment made it very difficult to feel any romance at all. I was drained.
At the same time I got to know of someone… we chatted hit it off, and what I thought would have been innocent conversations became full of emotional dependence. I became refreshed, rejuvenated and fell in love with another woman. We went on dates, did what any couple would do together, and spending time with her felt so peaceful and made me feel relieved.
The areas that the wife could not fulfil emotionally and physically was met through her, and we had an affair together. We knew it was wrong, I knew it was wrong but something in me kept thinking that this could continue to keep me energized and feeling loved.
The affair was later discovered and I chose to work on keeping the family together at the expense of this new happiness I’ve found.
I’m worried something like this will happen again, and I can’t get over the love found in the other party. What should I do?
Here are what netizens think:
- Busy wife. But as husband, did you help out? Or just sat there and watch her and expect her to come service you after her tug the kids into bed? Kids are joined effort from both parents. You’re a grown man. Use your big head to think. Not your small head.
- The hb often says the same thing to me, you’re always angry and shouting at the kids.It gets lesser now that my (also) two boys are now older, but recently it happened again… so last night when the kids (all three) were raising hell, I decided to it’s time to once again be the DNB and chill.Let’s just say it’s nice to let someone else yell at the kids for a change.Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at what your wife had been doing for you and the family and what you have done for her, the kids and marriage, then ask yourself have you fulfilled your role as a husband and father?
- Have you tried to put the spark back in the marriage? Did you realised that the fact that your wife, despite having all the rights to divorce your sorry ass, taking the kids and half your assets, has chosen not to do so and give the marriage another shot? Have you considered how much courage she need to have to try and trust you again?This may well be the last shot and you should make the best of it. Go for counselling, dump the kids with the in laws, make time for her and the marriage sans kids.Else spare your wife, have a quiet divorce, let her have some peace in her life and concentrate on the children with your financial support. Don’t be selfish and deny her the chance for some man better than you to love her.Also, your children will never look at you the same way, or forget the fact you broke up the family. They can forgive, but they will never forget who cause it.
- You say you feel neglected but did you do anything to lighten the wife’s load so that she may have the energy to not neglect you?