I’m (m44) am tired of my wife (f39). Been together 17 yrs. Only way to be happy is to agree with everything she says. She’s always right – don’t matter what, if she doesn’t think so, it’s not correct or the right thing. Help! Should I get out?
Can’t believe it’s come down to this. But I can’t help myself anymore. I have my own issues and am human and not a saint and can make her mad.
(I know her buttons yes I do – sometimes I can calm her just by saying ok I’m wrong you’re right but that’s just not right man!! Damn!!)
and I’ve questioned myself that maybe it’s just me. I’m F-ed up or don’t know how to take care of her. But I do feel like I cannot reason with her. It’s her way or the highway. Gonna be a bad dinner, bad vacation, bad holiday, whatever unless it’s her way.
I cannot have my childhood friends over because they’re not cool (maybe they’re not as cool or well off as she’d like them to be dunno wtf. This post is not about that though so I’ll cut it off right here)
My gripe: Her and my mom always fight. Moms also in the wrong but so is she. They’ve not met for years. YEARS. they’ve not spoken for 1.5yrs. Ok fine. Don’t care. Don’t talk to her. But everything is turning to be like this. Her way or be unhappy
One small example that woke me up. It involves no one significant, doesn’t hurt anyone’s feeling or anything crazy but we’re fighting over it – yesterday In our car, I was in the backseat while she was in the front driver seat.
Car was parked in the Sun and was hot. We always thought temps are similar back and front and didn’t make sense why people in back complained it being too warm.
I for the first time sat in the back while she was in front. The seat was HOT and I was just HOT. I could feel heat radiate from seat into my back and butt lol.
Asked her to turn the temp down and complained it’s too damn hot in the back and it made sense why others complained it was too hot in the back all the time.
She fires back at me and says it’s not too hot it’s just me whose hot. I tell her it’s pretty warm because of the seat and she didn’t wanna listen. She started getting upset saying she sat a few days ago in the back and it was fine. I told her it’s actually hot. Seat is very hot making me hot.
This happened yesterday. Today we started arguing about something else and I told her, listen, you need to hear me as well, instead of just yelling at me and cutting me off while I I’m talking.
It can’t be that’s you’re always right. It can’t be that I’m always wrong. It can’t be that you cut me off all the time. I reminded her about yesterday. I told her it didn’t make any difference emotionally or physically yesterday that I was hot. Heat was coming from the seat and it made total sense other complied about our car being hot. I asked her why it has to be her way or no way.
Well, that didn’t end well.
So here I am wondering WTH to do. Is counseling gonna help? (We talked about consoling last week and we both agreed to do it but I HAVE TO FIND THE COUNSUELOR).
I’m at the edge ready to break this shit off. I’m tired of being the sensible one last 17 years (if I get mad she yells even louder. Never once calmed me down). Maybe I’m the problem and I’m just not being an adult about t situations with her?