Eh real talk, I cannot take it anymore. Need to rant before I bloody burst. You all got this kind of friend or not? The type whose mouth is bigger than the MBS infinity pool, but when it comes to actual action, disappear faster than your CPF after buying house.
So last week, this fellow—let’s call him Ah Huat—was holding court during our secondary school gathering. Drink a bit of alcohol then start to become the ultimate hao lian king. He literally stood up, beat his chest, and told the whole village: “Eh next time we go Zouk or marquee, I book the VVIP table. Last month I brought my company clients out, one night spend $3,000 on hard liquor and craft beer, small money only, all under my name!” Wah, the way he talk, you think he is some crypto billionaire or tech startup CEO. Everyone also like “wah steady la, next time rely on you.”
Fast forward to yesterday. Just three of us went to the neighborhood kopitiam down at Woodlands for a quick dinner. Simple stuff only—one zi char fried rice, one fish soup, and a few bottles of Tiger beer to share because the weather hot like hell. Total bill came up to what? $34.50. Dirt cheap.
When the bill uncle came, this $3,000 VVIP Big Shot suddenly got magic trick.
First, he suddenly become very busy looking at his phone, scrolling through TikTok like his life depended on it. Then when I tap him and say “Eh bro, pay up first,” he start to fumble his pockets. “Alamak, I forgot bring my wallet, left it in the car.” Okay fine, nowadays who use physical wallet? I say “Can PayLah! what, just scan the QR code on the table.”
Guess what this clown say? “Eh my PayLah! no money inside, need to transfer from my multi-currency investment account, very mafan. Can you cover first? I transfer you tonight.”
Bro, your investment account got millions but your PayLah! cannot even pass $10?
It is now 24 hours later. Still no notification from my POSB digibank. Not even a single cent. This morning I gently messaged him the PayNow screenshot, he blue-tick me then reply in the group chat asking who wants to go clubbing this weekend. Hello?? Your $30 kopitiam debt still floating in mid-air, but you want to go pop bottles again?
Seriously, this kind of person really no eye see. Face is given by people, but shame is self-made. Next time he talk about his $3,000 bill again, I swear to god I will print out this $34.50 kopitiam receipt and paste it on his forehead. Sibei annoying.