My parents have been living seperately for quite a number of years now ever since my dad got chased out of the house by my mum. My dad is currently working in a job that pays around 1.5k but my mum still wants my dad to give her 80% of his salary.
She is using me and my siblings as bargaining chip by saying that if my dad does not give, she will immediately divorce which will lead the house to being sold and the children will not have a place to stay.
This is despite the fact that my mum is earning a salary that is higher than an average fresh graduate, has a third party (extremely rich old man) outside of marriage that gives her a sizable monthly allowance (I think 1-2k) and taking money from me (she forced me to give 20% of my income or else I will have to move out of the house and even then, she will sue me for money if she need).
My mum wants to divorce in future but my dad still has hopes that the relationship can continue despite me saying that it is impossible. I am trying to convince my dad to plan for his future but just recently, he also asked me to give him and my grandparents money occasionally for filial piety. However, I don’t earn a lot as I am just starting out and I am already very tight on my finances.
I just gave my dad some money recently when we met up as he is dead broke and I don’t wish for him to take a bank loan again like he did in the past (He would secretly loan money and end up we have to pay for it) but it’s been affecting my own finances so bad that I am left with just 200 in my bank account and I need to last till the end of the month.
I been like the bank for the whole family for years now and I am starting to get really annoyed as I need to plan for my own future. I would like to know how can I try to get my mum to stop being greedy for money as her greed knows no bounds with her thirst for branded goods and shopping because she say it helps her destress.
She will go crazy if I prevent her from her shopping which sound ridiculous but she is crazy enough and has done a lot of crazy shit before. I also want tips on how to convince my dad to plan for the future as he see the children as his gateway to retirement and my financial advice to him always go ignored and he would do the opposite of what I say.
For example, he would rather go out drinking with his friends (when his health is in a state that he shouldnt drink) then save more money. He just thinks very short term and only care about the present at the expense of the children while my mum is just selfish and only care about her own happiness. Financially, if they follow my advice, there shouldn’t be an issue but no one wants to listen.
For example, I told my mum I save for her but she rather put the money I give her in the bank because she can see the money and is in her name so she feels more save but I am very angry that she is storing a lot of money in the savings account and the money is losing value to inflation.
Yes, she has a lot of money and I seen it before but she still want more from everyone and continue to spend like a rich tai tai because she wants to be one.
Lastly, my dad’s side of the family also keep insisting on a wedding banquet for my future wedding because all the relatives also had one and was rather grand (because they are rich and live in landed properties) but we just cannot afford it.
I told them to pay for it if they want it but they say I should handle my finance better and if others could do it, why couldn’t I. I really want to ignore everything and just move out and cut relations but it is really hard as resale is so expensive now and BTO is a lottery that need another few years even if you get it.
Even then, they probably going to sue me and harrass me for the rest of eternity which is pissing me off. I didn’t choose to be born, I didn’t choose my parents. I am just so tired of everything.