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Thursday, March 27, 2025
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MAN SAYS IT’S HARD TO BE A GOOD PARENT WHEN YOU’RE POOR, BUSY FINDING MONEY TO SURVIVE

It’s harder to be a good parent when you’re poor

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First of all, I want to say that there are INCREDIBLE parents at every income level! Just being poor absolutely doesn’t mean you’re failing your kids.

My spouse and I have finally reached middle class after 15+ years of struggle. We’ve gotten very lucky. For us, parenting when we were broke was much more difficult than it is now.

We were constantly overwhelmed with the tasks of daily existence. We had very little mental bandwidth to share with our children.

Needing to work extra jobs (nights/weekends) left us with little time for bonding experiences, (even no-cost activities like reading bedtime stories or going for walks were sometimes impossible).

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We tried our best, but I know some of our stress rubbed off on our kids.

We had an experience last weekend that, for me, highlighted our change to middle class. Our boys were riding their small bikes in the streets when one of their friends got a little carried away and crashed into a parked car, damaging it minorly.

We spoke with the owner and offered to pay for repairs. The potential expense was annoying, but not overwhelming.

I realized that if the same situation had happened a few years ago when we were struggling to make ends meet and fighting for survival, I would have immediately panicked.

The extra expense of the repair would have meant we couldn’t eat for a week or would end up delinquent on a utility bill.

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It would have been very hard not to freak out on the kids. Now, I was able to calmly respond to the children “oh well, accidents happen. Try to be more careful in the future. Let’s go apologize and make it right”.

Yes, money can’t buy you happiness and it won’t magically make you a better person/parent. But having money give you the time and security that allow you to devote more of yourself to meaningful relationships.

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