“First of all, I want to apologise for the language. I swear I am not usually like this. I also apologize for rambling, and no offence to any student here. I am just writing down my thoughts without structure or editing.
I hate university. I can’t think of a bigger waste of my time, energy, effort, and my money. It’s emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially draining.
I am in my 5th year cause I am not motivated to do well no matter how hard. (I was supposed to graduate last year). I hate my program. I realize I chose it but deep down I never even wanted to come here.
My entire life I was taught that university was the ultimate goal and that a magic piece of expensive paper was going to magically fix my life and make my future great. Well, as I got older I just realized that it’s not the case, at least not for me. I’m not in science, engineering, business, or anything that might be useful/financially rewarding.
I just don’t care anymore. I have friends who worked straight out of polytechnic or JC and are already starting their lives. They’re paying rent, they’re getting food, they’re living, they are even travelling to Europe and doing what that they want to do. So why did I waste 5 years of my life that I will never have back?
I know the counter argument is that that’s all they’ll be making/doing for the rest of their lives, but with a bloody useless degree, what else am I going to do? Am I actually socially/financially better off than they are? I highly doubt it.
You know what the messed up part is? I don’t care about my finances. I just don’t give a damn, as long as I am able to pay my living expenses. I don’t mind working in McDonald or Grab Food and then returning home. I could work on my music (what I actually care about), or play video games, or do nothing. It’s my time. I want to live in the now and today. I want to do what I want. I dont want to get married because I just want to do what I want to do. I’m tired of what I want to do having to come second to something I really don’t give a damn about. I realize you have to do that with work too, but again, I want to live in the now.
Say my music or my endeavours aren’t successful. Maybe I’m not talented enough, or smart enough, or maybe I just don’t have the luck for it. At least I can be happy knowing I tried, and my life won’t be such a bore and I won’t be someone who lives his life full of regret.
This is my last semester and it’s fortunately coming to an end. I hope my GPA is high enough to let me graduate because I just don’t have it in me anymore to go back again.
My strategy is to do what I can. If I graduate, great, if I don’t, oh well. I’d rather drop out and have my family disappointed in me. I just physically, mentally, emotionally can’t care anymore.”