Seeking Mental Health Support
Since I was a child, I have grappled with issues surrounding self-esteem and interpersonal interactions. It has taken me over 20 years to find out and finally acknowledge that the root of these struggles lies within myself, and I suspect that I may be dealing with mental health concerns.
Throughout my life, I have often been labeled as ‘very quiet.’ I tend to avoid initiating conversations or engaging with others unless necessary. Social interactions and public speaking make me feel anxious, and I find myself becoming silent when unfamiliar individuals join a conversation. As a result, my circle of friends remains extremely small, and I only regularly text two people to avoid bothering others. I generally experience a pessimistic outlook on life, with more bad days than good ones, and struggle to find happiness easily. While I am not actively seeking to end my life, I often question the purpose of living. There’s so few reasons for me to be alive. Despite this, I always give my best effort in every task, whether at school or work, and it’s very exhausting.
I find it necessary to seek professional help as these issues are affecting my relationships in the workplace. I feel suffocated when there are many people in the office, but I struggle to find anyone with whom I can interact comfortably.
It is highly likely that I am dealing with social anxiety, and I suspect that I may also have tendencies toward avoidant attachment, selective mutation and perhaps a certain level of depression. However, I do have a few concerns that I would like to address.
Cost: I’ve been working for the past 2 years and I’m earning barely 4k per month now. Given that therapy sessions often cost around/more than $120 per session, I am unsure if I can afford this expense.
Effectiveness: I hold reservations about the potential effectiveness of therapy for my situation. While I am not particularly fond of meditation or someone simply instructing me to breathe in and out, I also struggle with being a private person. There are deeply painful experiences that I have never shared with anyone, yet they continue to burden me on a daily basis. I am uncertain to what extent I will be comfortable sharing these with a therapist. Even if I manage to open up, I am skeptical about how a paid professional, who listens to sad stories from countless people each day, will genuinely help me overcome my issues.
Employment: I have seen Glassdoor reviews detailing individuals whose job offers were rescinded due to difficulties passing background checks, likely related to previous struggles with mental health. I am concerned about the potential for records to be left behind if I seek professional help. It would be greatly appreciated if someone from HR could provide some clarification on this matter.
I would genuinely appreciate any advice or guidance that you can offer, thanks in advance.