let’s call him Kevin. Kevin is a good guy, but honestly, watching him now is just plain sad. He’s turning 30 soon, single, and desperate for social validation. His new “strategy”? Becoming the ultimate cai shen ye (God of Fortune) for this group of toxic drinking kakis he met at a random bistro last year.
Every single Friday and Saturday, without fail, Kevin will jio this group out. And here’s the kicker: he always pays the bill. We are not talking about $50 mookata or coffeeshop beer towers, you know? He brings them to those high-SES bars in Tanjong Pagar or Clarke Quay, orders Martell, orders premium yakitori, and when the bill comes out to $600–$800, he’s always the first one to slap his cashback credit card on the folder. “Don’t say bo jio, my treat!”
The rest of the kakis? Absolute freeloaders. The moment the bill is paid, they say “Thanks Kev!” and immediately start talking about the next place—where Kevin will also pay.
Last month, Kevin’s car broke down and he couldn’t make it for one Friday session. You know what happened? Nobody asked if he was okay. In the WhatsApp group, one guy literally said, “Eh today no sponsor ah? Then I stay home sleep.” I saw the text myself because Kevin showed me, looking completely deflated.
I tried to tell him nicely. I said, “Bro, they are not your friends. They are friends with your wallet.” You know what this idiot told me? “Aiyah, at least they spend time with me. If I don’t pay, I’ll be lonely at home anyway.”
Bro… wake up your idea leh! You think you are buying friendship, but you are just financing their weekend entertainment. The moment your bank account runs dry, these people will disappear faster than your GrabFood delivery rider in a thunderstorm.
Anyone else had to deal with a friend like this? How to wake him up before he clears his CPF just to buy beer for people who wouldn’t even turn up to his funeral?